Cali, vidi vini retreati.. (I came I saw, I ran like hell)

back from Cali biotches! Yea, I know you missed me.. my searing wit and witticisms..

Well LA was a big fat DRAG! It was warmer, sure, but it was work.. I got in at 6:00 LA time 9:00 my time (PM) I got something to eat, some greasy fish and chips, and had a beer (or two and off to bed) slept until 5:am (L.A. Time, 8 am my time) had a few hours to blow so I watched a movie on Stars of HBO whichever it sucked and I do not remember it's name.. or much of the plot.. Meeting at 11:00 went until 4:00 (LA time) I am super tired, so I go get a bite, and back to the room, I am in bed by 5:00 PM LA time.. (8 PM my time) I sleep about 20 minutes and wake up.. damn! Try getting online with the hotel TV internet.. bad idea.. crashes every time I try to write an email , so after an hour of dicking around with it, I give up.. turn the TV on and watch another lame movie that I do not remember much of.. fell asleep about 7:00 (LA Time) wake at 10:00 , 11:00 12:30 and 3:00 at 3:00 I say to hell with it, and call United Airlines, to find out if I can catch an earlier flight.. I am supposed to leave at 1:00 , they say I can grab one at 6:00 out of LAX to Chicago, and then stand by for a flight there home,, it looks good, as the flight is only half booked. (my ass!)

So I get into Chicago at 1:00 PM.. next flight leaves at 1:30.. it is oversold! So next flight leaves at 3:00 .. it is oversold too! FUCKERS!!!

I sweet talk the guy behind the desk.. no I am not gay, but I ain;t proud either. And he reserves me a seat on the 5:00! I get into home at 6:00 and am DEAD tired!

Got home in bed at 9:00 asleep by 10:00 , 11:00 boy calls, he is in Jail.. fucker.. let him rot I say.. at 1:00 another call, another boys girlfriend has gone into labor.. at 5:00 the alarm goes off.. and you wonder why I am a bit cranky!!!

All day spent writing reports.. I hate reports. see them as busy work.. if they were used for any thing of purpose I would see them as a good thing, but my boss likes me to write them , just so he feels like I work for a living (at least that is how it feels sometimes) I was nearly caught up at 6:00 when I came home.. youngest boy (step-son) had baby girl at 1:30 PM 7 pounds , 7 ounces, 20.5" long.. and the first of you that calls me "grandpa" gets a knuckle sandwich.. I am way too young to be anyone's damned grandpa!

Now I am going to have a drink or 12 and watch some television..
Last night I did manage to squeeze in "Cube" a horror flick of sorts.. it is a lot like saw in many aspects.. except this movie started cool with lots of neat effects, and then tried to get into the human story and fell flat on it's face.. by the time everyone had been killed I was cheering for the evil machine.. (Okay I am a bit grumpy.. I already said it) but this movie blew big donkeys!

It could have been so much more had anyone taken the time to do a little more work with the diabolical maze/machine and those behind it.. it looked so promising for the first hour.. them CRAP!

Well nuff for now.. gotta drink to consume!
PAX,
DeRex

Arlo Guthrie Moment...

old

and new

from here
The Motorcycle Song
words and music by Arlo Guthrie

CHORUS:
I don't want a pickle
Just want to ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want a tickle
'Cause I'd rather ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want to die
Just want to ride on my motorcy...cle

It was late last night the other day
I thought I'd go up and see Ray
So l went up and I saw Ray
There was only one thing Ray could say, was:

CHORUS

This song is about the time that I was ridin' my motorcycle.
Going down a mountain road, at 150 miles an hour, playin'
my guitar. On one side of the mountain road there was a
mountain, and on the other side there was nothin' - there was
a cliff in the air.

Now, when you're going down a mountain road at I50 miles
an hour you gotta be very careful, especially if you're playin'
a guitar. Especially if that guitar is an acoustic guitar.
Because if it's an acoustic guitar, the wind pressure is greater
on the box side than on the neck side, because there's
more guitar on the box side. I wasn't payin' attention ..

Luckily I didn't go into the mountain - I went over the cliff.
I was goin' at 150 miles an hour sideways and 500 feet down
at the same time.

I knew it was the end. I looked down, I said ''Wow! Some
trip". I thought it...well I knew it was...I knew it was my last
trip, and in my last remaining seconds in world,I decided
to write one last farewell song to the world.

Put a new ink cartridge in my pen. Took out a piece of paper.
I sat back and I thought awhile. Then I started writin':
I don't want a pickle
Just want to ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want a tickle
'Cause I'd rather ride on my motorsickle

And I don't want to die
Just want to ride on my motorcy ...cle."

I knew that, it wasn't the best song l ever wrote, but I didn't
have time to change it. I was comin' down mighty fast.

But as you all know, and as fate would have it, I didn't die. I
landed on the top of a police car. And he died. I drove away
on the road that he was on. I came into town at a screamin'
175 miles an hour, playin' the motorcycle song.

I came into town, I jumped off my bike, the bike went around
the corner by itself, went up on the stand by itself, turned
itself off.

I walked over to my friend. He was standin' there eatin'
pickles. I said "Hi, what's happenin'?" He looked at me in the
eye and said "Nothin'".

You gotta sing it with that kind of enthusiasm. Like you just
squashed a cop...

CHORUS

©1968,1969 Appleseed Music Inc. (ASCAP)

a few parting thoughts..

okay I am only going to L.A. for a couple of days, but I won't be posting here, so hell, I know you will miss me. (maybe I will get to a cyber-cafe and rant a little at you, but don't count on it.. so I am looking for a few things to keep you entertained, and thinking of me while I am gone)

and of course..

and then...

okay enough about Cali.
Biotch!

Movie Review Aftermath / Genisis

Aftermath / Genisis: FUCKED UP!

If you have a waek stomach skip it..
Me, I found myself at the end of Aftermath, thinking .. "Well that was some sick-azzed-shit!" and then realizing that I too am sick for watchign the whole thing through. I , if I was not a sicko, would have turned it of as soon as he locked the door.

But you know what, having sat through it, I somehow feel a little less sick.

SO a review wihtout giving anything away.
GROSS! DISGUSTING! DISTURBING!
JESUS NIX this made your top 10!

cool.

Getting Flammed.. I kinda like it.

I have been flammed! Flammed by a littel twit who calls himself Tsar Bomb.

Due to a posting error, his last diatribe aganst (his own intellegence) and me was lost. :( I am so freaking heartbroken about it!

I am almost ready to make him famous! Like we did for Nix.. but different.. you know make a few posts about Tsar Bomb.. showing our love for his small minded wit.. and then technoati search him into the top ten.

SO as many people as possibel will know just what kind of itching hemmorid he truly is.. perhpas even google bomb the term Itchy hemmoroid. and have it link to old Tarry...

I so hope that this littel cling-on will come back adn flame me a little more.. so I can demonstrate to you, how lovely a liteel cocksucker he truly is.
(Not that I have anything against cocksuckers.. now on second thought calling Tsar Bomb a cocksucker, is an insult to cocksuckers everywhere)


So in order not to give a bad name to cocksuckers, I will have to say that Old Tarry is a turd sucker..
SO tarry? Any comments? Any more insults you want to lass my way, you piece of steaming, Nasi donky dung!