Friday, June 23, 2006

NASCAR Jeff Gordon / Speed Racer Tribute


Jeff Gordon's Gay

In other Youtube Video News...
PC.. makes me say "Bugger" nearly every day!

Thanks Mal.. love inyourfaceforbreakfast

and finally.. to get the searchers cuming our way.. SEX

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Thursday, June 22, 2006

Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: Part 11 Saint's Blood.

I watched her through my swollen eyelids for as long as I could.. even her walk mezmorized me... it just spoke of sexuality under complete control... and she clearly had controll over me. Too bad I was going to be locked up forever, or given the chair ... I would have liked to see where this could have led, despite what I was starting to believe about her, I loved her.

A few moments later, I was alone, I heard one of my jailers, say
"Goodnight sweetheart", then I heard the door shut, and with a clank of
some big switch the lights went out..

It was dark.. not a nighttime darkness but an inky thick darkness,
completely absent of light. I suspected that after a moment or two my
vision would grow accustom to it, but it was just to dark.. I found
myself having dreams.. dreams while my eyes were open (as open as they
could be in their swollen condition that is) ..
It started as faces.. faces dancing in front of me.. I tried to blink
them away, but nothing in this blackness changed them.. I saw my face..
in a throw of ecstasy, I was looking upwards at myself.. as.. as... as
the countess must have seen me, when we were together last... then
there were other faces, each coming clearer and clearer now.. some male
some female.. some from that down low observation point, some at other
angles.. full on, a blonde woman, who looked scared.. another man, he
had a darker complexion, middle-eastern maybe, he looked like I had.. a
woman, with a look of delight on her face.. faster and faster they
started to come, clearer and clearer, so clear I thought I could read
their lips.. I felt the room starting to spin, and through the darkness
I could swear my cell walls were melting away, I felt free.. and the
faces kept coming.. there may have been 1000 of them.. all flashing
faster and faster.. the room spun.. and I felt my body going towards
flood.. I lay there, it was damp and cold, but for the moment all I
could do was hold on and watch this show... of horror and delight..
and pleasure, death and dying.. or was that life? The line between
death and life, I knew was now going to be blurred for a very long time
to come..

Over what may have been minutes, or hours, I cannot tell now, I started
to feel better.. the pain started to go away from my head and from my
body.. my breathing no longer felt like sharp glass fragments under the
skin and over the bones.. I reached up and touched my face.. it felt
like the swelling was nearly gone.. my nose was a bit crooked, or more
crooked than it had been at the beginning of the day, but hell I can
live with that.. I stood... it didn't hurt.. I jumped up a little.. it
didn't hurt... I turned and twisted and it didn't hurt!!!

Yes, I knew, or at least thought I knew what was happening, and I dared
not give the thought breath.. even now, I am reluctant to say what it
was that had happened to me.....

I don't know what time it was, but I found myself sleepy.. my heart
racing, and my mind was going a million miles an hour.. but still
came easily.

Some time later, I heard my jailers coming.. and I thought I could
them too.. "another side effect of my transformation" I wondered.

It was not the detective and the kid, it was two uniforms... "Come on
Duke, time for court" one said, as the light turned on and the door

They walked down the hall, and finally turned to look in at me.. "What
the fuck?" the taller of the two said.. "I heard they beat you pretty
senseless, but you .. you look.. fine?"

"Yea, well I own that dick something , but I feel fine.. thanks for
showing some tenderness." I sad with as much sarcasm as I could
I felt my face, it had a typical nights growth of whiskers, but other
than that, felt fine.. even my nose had seemed to straighten itself
to its usual crooked self.

I was allowed to clean up, grab a shave, and even rub a few stains out
of my shirt. I was tired ass all hell, but other than that I felt fine.

"Hey Duke, some dame claiming to be your lawyer, dropped this off for
you." That voice was officer Roberts a good guy, when I turned to look
at him, I thought I saw a kind of sympathy there in his eyes.
I was going to be arraigned on a double murder here in a few minutes,
I guess I should' a felt a little sorry for myself as well. Roberts was
holding my suit, it was cleaned and pressed, and in a bag that was
attached to the hanger I found my boxers, and socks, and shoes. She
thought of everything.

In a few moments, I was standing there ready to see the judge, Roberts
said he would escort me to the courthouse.. then the thought hit me..
daylight! "It's day time! I can't go out into the sun! I know what I am
now", even thought I didn't really feel much different.. . we walked to
the garage in t eh back of the building, I was cuffed, and shackled,
but not too tight, as soon as we were free of prying ears, Roberts said
"Hey Duke, who do you think, killed them girls in your room?"

"You don't think I did it?" I said smiling a little.

"Nah, I believe you fucked 'em both, you old bastard, but I don't think
you killed 'em." He said, stopping outside the door just inside the
He offered me a smoke, I took it.

"we got a few minutes" he said, offering a light. "Them bracelets too
I shook my head at him in the negative and took a long pull on the

"You pulled Judge Johnson, you know" he said.
"No shit?" I said.. Johnson was this town's hanging judge.
But really I knew I would get held over for trial, fuck they had me
to rights, what else could turn up, and who knows, maybe I will just
burst into flames the moment the over head door goes up and I get my
first dose of sunlight?

We finished our cigarettes in silence.
"You ready?" Roberts said squashing his cigarette butt with a twist of
his foot.
"Ready as I'll ever be." I said doing the same.

He walked me over to the car, put me in the back, and climbed in. A
signaled for the door to be opened, and it was... it raised up slowly
it's chain, letting daylight poor in, and then it hit me. I was scared
as all hell, and holding my breath... m eyes ached at it's brightness,
but nothing else happened?

It was a 12 block drive to the courthouse, and Roberts talked about
baseball and his kids, if I weren't in handcuffs and leg irons, it
have been easy to believe he was just giving me a lift to the store.

When we got to the court building, we came in the back way, where all
the criminals come in, I was ushered into the court room, I looked
around for the countess but did not see her. My stomach sank at that. I
was really hoping to see her here, for all I knew it might have been my
last chance to see that face, and that body...

I waited my turn, the sunshine in the windows made my eyes ache, but I
was feeling so tired, that my eyes may have been burning because of

My turn came. I walked up to the defendants table, to be joined by a
middle aged, fellow with a salt and pepper beard and receding hair
he looked like I imagine a "professor" would look.

"I am Mr. Bordeaux" he said all to properly for my liking, he grinned
he said this, he teeth were yellowed with age, and tobacco. (pipe
tobacco I imagine).

"Where's the countess?" I asked him..
"She as you have guessed sent me. I am to represent you in this matter,
I advise that you keep your mouth shut for now, and if all goes well
will see her later." At this my heart sped up, imagine, me falling for
her? Well pally I had fallen, and fallen hard, I didn't give a fuck
about all the things, I had learned about her, that may have made other
men run pulling their hair and loosing their minds..

"How do you plead" the judge said.

"We plead, not guilty" you honor said Bordeaux.

"Bond to be set at $10,000, trial date to be set out for 30 days." And
heard his gavel fall. I was stunned beyond words.

"I have arraigned Bond for you already. I will see you in 30 days? "
it was Bordeaux.

"huh? What the?? Huh?" was all I could squeeze out.

"You may leave now, Mr. Lacrosse. I imagine that there will be some
paperwork for you."
"uh yea??" I said still stunned.

I was expecting a bond of either unimaginable size or there to be no
bond at all, the later to be the more likely. Sure a bond of 10 large
was more that I could swing, but that only added to my shock, to hear
that it had been "taken care of".

I went to "the cage" signed myself out, and was told that I had to go
back to the jail to fetch my personals.

Roberts was hanging out in the hallway, bagging some time on the clock
imagine. I walked up to him, hoping to bum another smoke and maybe some
cash for taxi. My wallet was at the jail, and Bordeaux seemed to
disappear into the crowd before my head was clear enough to ask him for
a ride or some bank.

"Hey, need a ride?" Roberts said when he saw me approach.

"Yea, yea I do" I said

"I thought you might, come on." he said turning toward the back exit.

Once we had left the parking lot in the rear of the building and turned
toward the jail, I asked "So Roberts what's your steak in this thing?"

"Ah hell, I ain't got no steak. I heard you were in trouble with a
detective, and came to make sure nobody fucked you up too badly." Hell
was surprised to hear you were alive, after I heard about a beating he
supposedly gave you." I was asking about you at the precinct front
when some dame walked up to me and asked if I was a friend of yours, I
said, that we had had a laugh or two, when she said, "I need someone
here to make sure that nobody hurts him, I am his lawyer, and if nobody
is here, they may kill him." Then she said" I will pay you for your
services." I told her that she didn't have to pay me, but I had never
seen a lawyer that looked like she did.
"Duke that's one hot number there! She really a lawyer?" he asked.

"I don't know what she is." I had said it before thinking, "but Roberts
old buddy, I am going to find out."

This time we stopped in the front of the building.
"You want me to go in with you?" Roberts asked.

"yea, you better" I replied. I had no intention of getting in on
interrogation session.

Things went smoothly, right through check out.
I told Roberts; that I didn't think I was going to have any more
problems, and that I could call a cab.
He wished me well, shook my hand and leaned in to say so that only I
could hear. "Why do you think I told her that I did not need pay?" it
was a serious question.

"Well knowing her the way I do, I would have to say, that there ain't a
man on the earth that wouldn't do anything for her." I said with a

His brow knitted as if thinking hard on this.. he said "even kill?"
To be continued..

More Erotic Vampire books...

Youtube Videos Funny and Sexy

first to start your day with a grin.. I give you funny..

(tosser.. classic)

unaired rolling stones
and then.. a lady in red..

Red is good....

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Funny stuff...Viagra and Grandpa

Grandma and Grandpa were staying the night at the kids house.
When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, heasked about using one of the pills.

The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad;..they're very strong and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Grandpa.

"$10.00 a pill," answered the son.

"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."

Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00.

I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

she being Brand (E.E. Cummings)

You know I could not let a month go by without a little e.e. Cummings.

she being Brand

-new;and you
know consequently a
little stiff i was
careful of her and(having

thoroughly oiled the universal
joint tested my gas felt of
her radiator made sure her springs were O.

K.)i went right to it flooded-the-carburetor cranked her

up,slipped the
clutch(and then somehow got into reverse she
kicked what
the hell)next
minute i was back in neutral tried and

again slo-wly;bare,ly nudg. ing(my

lev-er Right-
oh and her gears being in
A 1 shape passed
from low through
second-in-to-high like
greasedlightning)just as we turned the corner of Divinity

avenue i touched the accelerator and give

her the juice,good


was the first ride and believe i we was
happy to see how nice she acted right up to
the last minute coming back down by the Public
Gardens i slammed on

brakes Bothatonce and

brought allofher tremB
to a:dead.


August First, my 1988 Lotus Esprit will be put up for auction on eBay.
(Unless it sells sooner)
It has 28,150 miles (accurate)
It is in good running condition with the following faults.
Speedometer is not working.
(Odometer works fine, so miles are accurate)
Passenger side window motor is slow, functioning but slow...
Idle is slightly rough, but this may be due to “storage” gas still being in it, once a fresh tank is in and perhaps some injector cleaner, I will know if it needs any adjustments.

Work I have had done:
All belts, including timing changed within 2000 miles.
New plugs, wires, rotor, and cap.
New fuel filter, air filter.
(All done at the same time as the belts, about 2000 miles ago)

New slave cylinder for clutch installed about 1500 miles ago.
New break pads all the way around also about 2000 miles ago.
New up-pipe just installed.

Upgrade stereo: Kenwood, w/ 5 disc changer in back. Big amp also in trunk

In-dash radar detector, with front exterior mount receiver.

I have a copy of the "Lotus Notes" Service book. (Cost approx. $500)
I also have copies of the 1988 Lotus Debut Road and Track and (another , that I cannot remember the title of right now) Magazines, featuring the 1988 lotus Esprit Turbo, and its "New" body style.
1988 was the year that they went from the boxy "James Bond" type Esprit to the more rounded body style you see here.

Faults cosmetic: Leather shrinkage, as is common on these, I have seen worse, but it is not like new inside, also as is typical of this vintage Lotus, there is some wear to the drivers seat, not too bad on the passengers.

Small stone chip in the pain on the front passengers side, about the size of a "little finger nail" Touchup pain is best bet.
In most all other ways it is a typical 1988 lotus, it may be in better shape than the average, but it has all the features and flaws anyone familiar with the brand would expect.

I am it's 4th owner, I have the carfax report that I pulled on it as well as a professional appraisal that I had done when I bought it, nearly 5 years ago.

Yes it is as fast as it looks.. yes it will draw attention..
This is a gentleman’s car. It needs someone that will care for its small needs, on an ongoing basis. It is not your average hot rod, and should not be treated like one, or expected to act like it.

It needs a home with someone that loves the Lotus brand as much as I do.. I know it sounds silly, but I really do want it to go to a “good home” where it will be driven as it was intended to be ,and cared for properly.

Asking Price, is a slight $15,000.. as is drive it away.
(For Sale sign has $17,000 because people want to negotiate)

Rodney Carrington.. Dear Penis

This should be a cialis comercial!

and while we're on teh subject of Rodney.. here's another one..

Now if I could only find a copy of Titties and Beer!
well I'll be a some bitch...

well ask and you know the rest...

Don't do drugs.... if you are a PC

My mate mal's latest parody.. well not his latest, but you know me, dyslexic as hell and typing with flippers.. GIVE A SEAL BOY A BREAK!

From : inyourfaceforbreakfast

THen in other Video news..

ohhh you touch my tra la la..
and still more....

YEs, Frankie still goes to Hollywood... remember RElax don;t do it..
and if you can't do it(again).. try Cialis...
For more fetish club action.. search this blog for the first Duke LAcrosse Private Eye story....

and last but far from least.. here is you invitation to...

take a walk on the wild side....

Monday, June 19, 2006

one mreo 80's moment.. Quiet Riot Video!

I lov eyou tube.. and I loved it when the girls rocked their boys too.


80's Retro moment.. video.. The Breakfast club

I saw it and I just had to have it..

now you have it too..

damn it I meant it!

GO see these nutters!

Gimme Your Stuff

If I had squat I would already be trying to work a deal.. some day I hope to have squat.. and believe me when I do you will see "Squat" for trade.. now don;t be a wanker and go see them.. DO IT NOW!

Gimme Your Stuff

one mroe video.. for somone "special"

One more video for somone special.. you know who you are..

xxx ooo xxx ooo

A bit of a viddy from me old Friend Mal.ic.ious and other vido / youtube stuff.

Well Mal, you sick freak.. I salute you!

YEs, timing is everything.. and as I am psyching myself up to quite, My old buddy Mal posts this.. thanks for reminding me why I quit..
momma alwasy said don;t be a quitter.. screw you mum!

I have had this song stuck in my head.. and now I hope I can find it's video at youtube..

and so concludes the video portion of today's lesson.