Friday, December 23, 2005



Okay.. I was an early wanker. I was 10..
I remember the first time it added up to something.. my parents, and a couple that were friends with them were sitting on the back patio near the pool.
The couple, had with them their daughter.. she was older than me.. maybe 14??

I peeked out my window.. at her body wet with pool water.. and went to rubbin’ one out.
When something “happened” I was astonished!

For the next 5 or 6 years, (okay 10 .. 10 fucking years) I wanked at least once a day! (That’s a lot of pullin’ pork!)

I wish I could remember her name? Is that strange? I somehow feel a little empty, not knowing the name of the girl who I had my first nut to.

Now.. hell .. I just don’t have the interest.
Perhaps it is because I wanked SOOOOOOOO much when I was younger?

I admit I grind one out on rare occasion.. usually to some good quality internet porn.. but it is only a couple of times a year.

I had a friend who posted an article to his website.. stating all of the places and ways he had beat his beef into submission..
I thought I had a twisted history of man-handling myself.. this fucker wanked in an airplane! On a bus.. in a house, with a mouse, he wanked here and there, he pulled his stuff damn-near everywhere!

So anyone got a few good stories?

Nix was masturbated by a complete stranger.. I was once.. in a fast food restaurant.. by the girl working the window! She did more than bring my fires out to me that day!
How’s that for service!
(before any of you buggers has a hissy.. it was the end of her shift.. so she did not handle food after pounding the gopher for me!)


Intelligent design vs Evolution.. sorta.

With Inteligent Design at the top of everyone's mind, I thought I would re-run these two posts.. I am sure that you will find a point of view that you agree with in one of the two.. or maybe not.
However, I believe that either of the two theories offered below has as much validity as any other that is or will be taught in public shcools, now or in the foreseeable future.
As such, I feel that it is each adn every one of you's duties, to demand that they are both taught in the public shcools her ein the good ol' U.S. of A.

Once upon a time, there was an extremely intelligent species of being from a planet far far away.. while exploring the galaxy, they stopped at this little planet, three planets out from a small yellow star, in the lower left hand corner of their map.. the planet was nice, it had abundant water, and plants and animals, but no truly intelligent beings.. so the aliens being the highly intelligent beings that they were decided, that they would create man.

Man was created by using the DNA of a chimpanzee, a pinch of salt, and something that the Alien Lt. Grock, made in his galactic still..

Man was made, and for years, the aliens used man as their favorite pets, while they were here on Earth.. then after a while, the aliens had to get about exploring the rest of he galaxy and left.. taking all of their pets with them.. except a couple that had escaped from the starship Eden.. These two naughty little 90% monkeys were called Adam and Eve.. Adam Chimpman and Eve Chimpman were very naughty.. and bred.. they had a son named Cain and one named Able.. Cain killed Able, and that should have been the end of the story.. but it was not.. seems that one Alien missed is pet monkey enough to try and come back and look for him.. he searched and searched for Adam.. but while searching his other monkeys ran away.. as the Master alien was not very nice, and liked to swat his monkey’s on the nose with a news paper whenever they made “mess” in the spaceship.. so the population of earth went from Adam and Eve and Cain to Adam, Eve, Cain, Spot, Fiddo, Fluffy, and Miss Mittens.. and Adam begot Miss Mittens, and Eve Begot Spot to get even and Fiddo Begot Cain, and Fluffy and Miss Mittens and tried to Begot Adam too, but Adam was “not that way” and Eve and Adam made up and begot each other, and their sons and daughters begot the offspring of the others and the next thing you know there were nearly 2 billion Chinese.

Later about year 1 the master sent his son to go check on the monkeys.. and the rest is biblical history.

Alternately once upon a time..

Once upon a time, there was a planet named Earth.. earth had everything a home could require.. food, water, air.. you know all the regular stuff..

It also had a species of being that had ascended from Monkeys named Neanderthal.

Neanderthal was very intelligent for a monkey.. and life was good for him..

Then one day a group of beings from outerspace on a three hour tour crashed landed here on planet earth..

There was the Skipper
The First Mate
The Millionare
And his Wife
The Movie Star
The Professor
And Marry Anne..

And they were confused and dumbfounded by Neanderthal..

They had many zany adventurers, where the Neanderthals would run away with the Movie star and Mary Anne and make “zub-zub” in a nearby cave..

Being that they (the two races) were both descendants of an earlier Space Traveling Monkey Race they made babies..
and ecause Neanderthal had a better moral compass than anyone of the seven he decided that in the spirit of doing the right thing, he would marry Young Mary Anne, who he really had the hots for even though the Movie Star was the more "Sexed" of the two..

And everything went smashingly.. until the Australopithecines showed up at the reception and after drinking too much Cocoanut beer that the professor brewed up, from the open bar started to argue and fight with the other guests.

But after a while the leader of the Australopithecines a big ugly one named Humphrey passed out and the rest of the night was spent dancing and mary making to the sounds of Cool and the Gang.

Fast forward a few 10’s of thousands of years and you have today.. I am sure that we can all see the traits of those seven stranded castaways in our friends and relatives.. its just too bad we did not get rid of our creepy monkey eyes along the way..

Get "THE" book on I.D. here

For another version of the ID theory see

Slarty Bartfast has never been so close to superfame!.. not even with the Fjord Award.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

HEy found another one!

I have a friend.. yes I have one.

I lost touch with him in the summer, when his job was cut (due to the need to pay for the gulf war)
So he has had a couple of minor meical things.. I was worried.. but like the dick that I am I put off contacting him, even though I knew his email would soon be no good.. so I send an email.. it bounces back. I say I am going to call.. I do not for a while.. when I do disconnected! FUCK!!!!

Then yesterday I recieved a christmas card from him.. he is in Nome Alaska. I sent him an email this morning, he sent one back..
He is doing well has a big important job.. (he's a psycologist.. but about the best human being I know.. not that those are opposed conditions.. being human being psycologist..) It is just htat he is brilliant, and still so kind.. most brilliant and well educated people I know are well wropped un in themselves.. not that they are bad people, but that they do nto go out of their way to let you know they care about you.. he is perhpas the most caring soul I have ever met.. )

(I think he likes me , because I am 50% caring, 50% dickhead.)

But I digress..
This year end has been a wonderful one, for finding lost friends. Persons lost are found, all are well.. what more could you ask for than to know that the poeple you love, are doing okay?

Shit, I am getting ve'clempt. (sp)

You know Nix old buddy old pal, maybe life isn;t just a big shit sandwich?
As long as you keep those you love close?

Hell Nix give yorself a hug from me.
(not a gay hug though, that's just creepy)

And for my other lost and now found friends.. I really do love you all.. I even lust for oen or two.. (you know who you are). Thank you, for making this a christmas that does not suck!

Or Saturnalia.. You know this is the first year I have said I am celebrating Saturnalia, maybe that's the trick.

Festuvus last year was a real drag.. well after the bearing of grivences that is.

So could an Anchient Roman God be the source for my good fortune? Hey C where is Satrun ? Wonder if it is in my house?

As long as I don't have a saturn in my garrage, life is good.

Kisses and hugs to all.. and if you are really good looking (and you know who you are) kisses in all those special places for you.. :-*

Look to Wikepedia for Saturnalia.

Happy Saturnalia to all and to all a good night.

Forgive me father for I have sinned..

Forgive me father for I have sinned.. it has been (um hm) years since my last confession..

Oh I so want to tell you all a story.. on of mystery, intrigue, and sex… but honestly the person I would be talking about may read this blog, and would shoot me for thinking such naughty things about her. (or maybe not..)

As promised, this will be about soul mates..
I am not sure I get the whole soul mate thing.. I think really all you need is someone that appreciates you for who you are, and will love you , even if you never change. You in turn need to love that person, and hope that they never change a thing..

Too many times I have seen people “fall in love” and then go about trying to change all sorts of shit about the other person. Well I got news, you do not love that person, you love your ideal of what that person could be, and it is not fair.. and quite frankly it sucks, if you are the person who is always being told you need to change this that and the other thing.

I actually believe, that it is the person who is always suggesting that the other needs to change that is looking for change in themselves. It is just easier to hate something in someone else, than to accept that there are parts of you that you do not like.

(I will leave the case in point to your imaginations)

Secondly, if there is something about someone , you cannot “live with” tell the right away! Don’t wait 6 years to bring it up.. and then bail on them when they cannot change that part of themselves without effecting other things that you like..

People (and their spiritual/emotional make-ups) are like an open bowl of liquid. If you alter one part, all parts are subtly changed. It is when you can say to yourself, that this person needs not to change, that they are as perfect as they can be and as close to perfection as I want them to be, that you can love them. For change one thing, take one speck of debris off of the surface, and the whole being is affected by the ripples.

I have heard that in order to love, you must first love yourself, this could be the reason why. I have seen way too many times when one part of a couple were so unhappy with themselves, that they tried to change their partner, to better reflect the perfection that they themselves could not attain.

“To thine own self be true…”
makes sense in this context.

True Love: Yes, I believe it is obtainable, but both partners must be capable of the experience for either to have it. (For any duration) So if like me, love has always been at arms length, look first inwardly, then outwardly, and understand that it is not all your fault when shit falls apart.. unless of course you are a dick.. then well .. you got what you had coming.. (not really)

Dicks need love too.

Shit, I have officially run out of time to talk with you.. so nuff for now.. Yabbos yabbos…

interesting stats.. Reena Vasquez is #1 kinda.

my most popular post so far..
Random thoughts random spellings (Reviews of life): Where in the world is Daphne Teo.. hanging with carmen diego? And Hottest bloggerette update

The number one search term that people find this blog from google..
"Reena Vasquez"
Second most popular
"Reena Vasquez naked" (with or without the word "photos")

You people are perverts.. and I am damn glad to know ya!

Does Reena Vasquez have nekkid pictures out there on the web?
Not that I want to see them, it would be for purely scientific purposes, should on of you post a link to them in the comments,and I happen to go look at them..

just like Fae Ray and King Kong..


I am sure that everyone has a soulmate.. why not look for yours.. Nix this means you too!
I promise to post somthing on CyberDating here soon.. come bnack

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

An honest discussion on Love and Sex.

On Sex and Love.

I write this for someone who is special to me.. in a “I would feel honored to be smacked upside the head by him” way. You know who you are.

Love: Love is an emotional thing, not a real tangible commodity nor a physical , bodily function. While it has been claimed to be the best thing in life, you can in fact live a fully productive life without it. Let’s face it kids , love.. it ain’t air or food or water.

Love is grand. Well sure it is.. but let’s keep things in perspective.

Sex: Sex is a bodily function. Medical teachings allow us to understand that the suppression of any bodily function leads to stress. Stress leads to lack of concentration, loss of sleep, accelerated heart rate, and respiratory rate, elevated blood pressure, heart attack, stroke, indigestion, diarrhea, and death.

Ss basically we can now take our understanding of sex and death and come to this conclusion. Fuck or Die!

Pick one.

I have had sex, with and without love. Sure emotionally sex with love is better. But one does not equal the other.
In fact some of the most memorable “sex” was with a complete stranger, so how much “love “ do you think was involved with that? I think you have to know someone’s name (FIRST AND LAST) to be in love.

But is knowing someone the essence of love? NOPE! The longer I have known some of my lovers the less I like them. And therefore love them.. it is the old “I love you, but I am not in love with you”. (which if you have ever been told this by someone means in English :”I wanna fuck other people”)

So lets make this CLEAR.. you can and should have sex.. lots of it.. every day.

If you happen to fall in love, you should have sex with that person. (Unless of course they will mace you for trying.. then you need to go love someone else)

I have given serious consideration to starting a sex cult.
It is not that I think that there is some deep religious meaning to sex, I just don’t think people in general fuck enough.

If you have to get all “spiritual” about it, I suppose you could say that The Creator, wanted us to have sex. (A LOT) if not it would not feel that good. If biology is to be the key to sexuality, we can look at a scale or pain pleasure.
Lets look at it this way. 10 feels best, Creator Approved Activity.

10. Sex
9. Breathing when air has been withheld
8. Quenching thirst when water has been absent
7. Eating, when food has been lacking.
6. A nice healthy urination
5. Healthy bowel movement (may be 6 on scale actually)
4. Scratching an itch.
2. Stretching
1. Rubbing tired eyes
0. Sleep
-1. Cutting face while shaving
-2. Cutting bikini area while shaving
-3. Sticking finger into eye forcefully.
-4. Stubbing ingrown toenail
-5. Jamming Knee into desk while trying to click away from a porn site (before boss, wife, girlfriend, wife’s girlfriend, etc. can see)
-6. Smacking elbow (funny bone)
-7. Projectile vomiting
-8. High fever
-9. Major bone broken poking through skin
-10. Kick in the nuts.

Now there are many things that fall in between “kick in the nuts” and “Sex” so that goes without saying.

But suggesting that the Creator uses the Pain / Pleasure method of teaching the masses, (seems to be the case in nearly everything else (excluding drugs, that’s an outside influence.. we’re talking bodily function here.. hippie) we must assume that society has missed the boat on sex.

So from me to you.. go have some sex.. go have a whole boatload of sex.. see someone you like.. and aren’t sure what to get them for Christmas.. try sex. (Or just a nice hum job)

When I look back at history, I can see where in almost all cases, society has been wrong.
So I say “It is time to stop the oppression of our puritanical past! Free ourselves from these self imposed chains! Raise ourselves up to what the Creator truly intended and FUCK!”

God Bless Each of you.. with lots of steamy sex.

Nigerian scammer and an apology..

"First things first.. where's your shitter!?"

Actually, i feel bad about being a bit of a wet blankey yesterday.. somtimes things trigger me adn I get so pissed off at my situation, I just gotta vent.. so if I offended you.. fuckoff!

I recieved another Nigerian Scammer letter..
Now you know how i feel.. I don't want anyof you to waste this persons tiem with wild goos chases.. nor do I want you to just send him tons of spam.. 'cause that just aint right..

but here is the copy.. with the scammers email address included.
(so no going to porn sites adn siging him up for free porn!)

letter copy..


Permit me to introduce myself, my name is Dr.JACOB UDERIKE I work with
Union Bank of Nigeria Limited as(Assistant Auditor),in the discharge of
duty,I stumbled on this domiciliary account that has remained dormant
three years now with Eighteen million Five hundred Thousand
dollars(US$18.5m) in it.
I contacted my director and we sent out staff for enquiries and
that the account holder died in an accident. I am writing you so that
we can
work together to remit the money to you as the next of kin because this
money belongs to a foreigner and has to be claimed by a foreigner.
I guarantee this transaction under a legitimate arrangements that will
breach the law by both parties, it is simple process which will take a
while to process.If I hear from you,I will tell you all you need to
about the money.
N.B Please reply to my personal email address: ( )

Best Regards,

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Review of a show I failed to see...

Well the goodly Rev. C.P.S. has done it again!
The BAD SANTA show went off as I had imagined it would
See the review

I wish I was there, and wish them a happy godless christmas..

Perhpas I should take a moment to tell you why I was not there?

(deleted.. 'cause it jut pisses me off)

Instead insert want ad.

Wanted: Babymomma!

One Babbymomma wanted to help me spread me genes around before I get too old to fuck.

Must be self sufficiant, intellegent, attractive, D&D free, and like to get inseminated the old fashiond way.

BJ's a plus.

Oral availabe upon request.

Submit resumes to photo submissions get first review.

show some love to a Nigerian Scammer..

I am such a lucky man.. I keep getting these wonderful offers form our brothers in Nigeria.
It is a good thing that this fellow is a legitimate barrister, otherwise I may just ask you to do all sorts of naughty things to him.. like forward all of your junk email.

SO whatever you do do not do anything naughty, like ask him to meet you in Malta to discuss arraignments.. or by using the Rules for junkmail in your outlook program have all your junk emails forwarded to him.. ‘cause that just wouldn’t be nice.

OUR REF: BA/87953/562/00
This letter might come to you as a surprise but it is coming with the best of Intentions and will be of mutual benefit to all the parties involved.
I am BARRISTER KELVIN BROWN a lawyer to the former LIBERIAN PRESIDENT CHARLES TAYLOR, who is now in exile here in Nigeria.
I am writing to solicit your much-desired assistance in helping me to secure funds that are already in NETHERLANDS with a security company. The fund in question is the total of $60,000.000(sixty million united states dollars)in $100 bills and slashed in four trunk boxes, and was shipped out of Liberia through a diplomatic means by the security company and they are not aware of the real content of the boxes for security reasons.
The boxes are already in NETHERLANDS and under the custody of the security company. For your assistance in getting the boxes out from the security company and securing the funds, i will give you 20% of the total fund.
NOTE: There is no risk involved in this project because I am involved as CHARLES TAYLOR,S confidant. Therefore contact me immediately. Please you should keep this transaction a top secret as we are prepared to do more business with you pending your approach towards this project and I welcome opinion and suggestion anytime from you.
I wait for your urgent response.

That's right, be nice to him at

DeRex Promotes only the best.. or is that Breast mispelled?

The Fatman
He ain;t no chick, but when you are this fat you get man-boobs.. and that has to count for something.

(Why can't I put the "e" in the middle of Something?)
I think my left hand is possesed.. or is not paying attention.. perhpas it is off wandering the forrests of the Great North West, the pine.. the redwood.. the mighty sequioa....
'Cause I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay.. I work all night and I sleep all day..

Sorry my mind ran away with my left hand and had a bastard child.. I think we'll name it Nix.

Well back to the fish farm.. time to round up a few sturgeon and bring them into market.. yea haw!

Monday, December 19, 2005

Shamless promotion of a fellow blogger..

This dude can't spell worth a fuck, and has a completly bizzare out look on life. (sound familure)

Go tell him I sent you and give him a cyber hug.. (or a digital kick in the nerts.. whichever..)

Redneck Firewood

Red Neck Firewood

"Hello, is this the Sheriff's office?"

"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Virgil Smith. He is hiding
marijuana inside his firewood!"

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They
search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open
every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.

The phone rings at Virgil's house. "Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd.
Did the Sheriff come?"


"Did they chop your firewood?"


"Happy Birthday, buddy!"

(Who says rednecks aren't real bright!)

Fur is it ever “okay”?

Fur is it ever “okay”?

I live where it is BLOODY FUCKING COLD!
I bought a fur hat a couple of years back from an all native art shop in the bush of Alaska. It is mostly beaver and looks a bit goofy, but when it is 0 degrees outside, your head will sweat with any exertion!

SO now I want mukluks. Real Mukluks, with Moose Skin souls the whole lot.

Also I would like to get a vest, like a friend of mine, (Native-American Alaskan) has, it is seal skin. Spotted seal, with whale bone buttons really very pretty.

And as long as I am at, it a coat, one of I dunno.. wolverine and beaver perhaps? (Again whale bone buttons, or maybe even Walrus Ivory buttons)

All of these animals would have been killed for food, or other goods, and used as only native communities can use the bounty from animal products and nature.

The Furs, that are not needed by the native people (Tribe / village) are used to make garments which are sold to “southerners” like me.

I don’t see the harm in wearing native made fur? I have been asked by people if I feel guilty wearing my fur hat.. I just look at them like they have asked me how to “get one foot unscrewed so that they could shove it up their water balloon.” It just is not a sensible question to me.

Am I wrong? Is it always bad to wear fur? Even if it keeps you warmer than any synthetic fabric you have ever felt? Even if it helps support a, (by our standards) poor Native Community? Or is everyone that just sees fur and thinks “evil” stupid?

I gotta vote “stupid” on this one?

Just got a Christmas Card form Alaska, gotta get me some mukluks! F you PETA!

Cyber.. anyone do it?

Cybersex.. I have a lot of questions.. but don;t know where to start...

How about this.. Does anyone use the same material with different cyber partners?
I would think that this somhow detracts from the experience.

Multiple cyber partners: What is proper ediquite'? Is it okay to have several, or does one run the risk of making your cyber lover jealous, if you go off typing with somone else?

Is it cheating? I mean if you are in a physical relationship with somone, and have a bit of the old typing in-out-in-out with some unknown piece of fantasy is it really cheating?

If it is cheating, what is the difference between that, and say reading a romance novel and imaging that you are one of the people in the "F" scenes?
Only difference I can see is that hte type is still fresh when you cyber, but it is still type...

What happens if you meet your cyber partner? How can anyone live up to a fantasy? (I mean unless you say you have a shorty adn go too quick, adn then show up joe average??? But who would want to cyber with somone who is that honest.. or icky?

For me the whole issue of cybersex is facinating.
I see it as more artistic than phone sex, but perhpas just as kinky. If anyone cares to comment annonymously, I would love ot hear some of your cyber experiences.

(I wonder how I could hook up with two women and me all cybering at the same time? I can speed read, so perhaps that will be a plus?)

So you brng the imagination, I'll bring the KY and the Chocolate Bunnys!

Anyone see King Kong over the weekend?

I really want to see this movie.. I was wondering if any of you did.
Please tell me it was great.. please...

How about you NIx?

Your a movie kook..

I am very excited, even though some of Peter (whatsisname's) movies have been real bonners. But LOTR was a killer filck(s) and I think it was good enough to make up for past sins..

So somone , anyone please comment here on Kong!

Or go ride a Guanaco to hell.


(gwänä´kō) or huanaco (hwän´äko) , wild, hoofed mammal of the camel family, Lama guanicoe, found on arid plains in the Andes Mts. It is about 31⁄2 ft (105 cm) high at the shoulder, with a long neck; it is brown on the back and sides, with light underparts and a dark face. Although previously regarded by some authorities as the ancestor of the domestic llama and alpaca, genetic studies show that only the llama is descended from it. The guanaco is not domesticated, but indigenous South Americans use its flesh for food and make its hide into clothing and other coverings and its bones into various implements. Encroachments on its grazing land have reduced its numbers. The guanaco is classified in the phylum Chordata, subphylum Vertebrata, class Mammalia, order Artiodactyla, family Camelidae.

it's like a Llama.. but different, and they never boo (whistle)at a good cricket match.. while the South American Alpaca has a nasty temper when faced with any sporting event other than competitive sleeping.
(ălpăk´) , partially domesticated South American hoofed mammal, Lama pacos, of the camel family. Genetic studies show that it is a descendant of the vicuña. Although the flesh is sometimes used for food, the animal is bred chiefly for its long, lustrous wool, which varies from black, through shades of brown, to white. Flocks of alpaca are kept by indigenous people in the highlands of Bolivia, Chile, and Peru. They feed on grasses growing close to the snow line, and they require a pure water supply.

The Incas had domesticated the alpaca and utilized its wool before the Spanish Conquest, but subsequently the alpaca and the llama were extensively hybridized, leading to a gradual reduction in the amount of high quality alpaca wool. Exporting of alpaca wool to Europe began after Sir Titus Salt discovered (1836) a way of manufacturing alpaca cloth. Breeding alpacas is a small but growing industry in the United States, Canada, and some other non-Andean nations.

Alpacas are classified in the phylum Chordata, subphylum Vertebrata, class Mammalia, order Artiodactyla, family Camelidae.

While the LLama, has never been a champion of science fiction, it can be said. that.. (Alright, this is just getting silly.. now move along.. go on move on.. nothing more to see here.. )

LLama breeding, it's a man's life.

Here is a scammer (spammer) that needs your love..

Today in my email I got this email.. we all know it is a scam.. and I am not advocating that you do nasty things to the scammer.. like have all of your spam forwarded to him.. 'cause that would be just wrong.

so whate er you do DON'T send all of yoru junk email to

copy of the scam letter.


It is obvious that this proposal will come to you as a suprise. This is
because we have not met before but i am inspired to sending you this
by the huge fund transfer opportunity that will be of mutual benefit
two of us.

However, I am Eze 0bi personal Attorney to the late Engr.Steve Moore
a national of Isle of Man in UK, who used to work with Shell Petroleum
Development Company(SPDC) in Nigeria. On the 21st of April 1996,my
client,his wife And their three children were involved in a car
along Sagamu/Lagos Express Road. Unfortunately they all lost their
lives in
the event of the accident, Since then I have made several enquiries to
several Embassies to locate any of my clients extended relatives, this
also proved unsuccessful.

After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to acehisrelatives
over the Internet to locate any member of his family but of no avail,
I contacted you. I contacted you to assist in repartrating the money
property left behind by my client,I can easily convince the bank with
legal practice that you are the only surviving relation of my
client.Otherwise the Estate he left behind will be confiscated or
declaredunserviceable by the bank where this huge deposits were
odged.Particularly,the Bank where the deceased had an account valued at
about $27million U.S dollars(twenty seven million U.S.America
dollars).Conseqently,The bank issued me a notice to provide the next of
or have the account confiscated within the next ten official working
since i have been unsuccesfullin locating the the relatives for over
years now.I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the
deceased,so that the roceeds of this account valued at $27million
U.Sdollarscan be paid to your account and then you and me can share the
money. 55%to me and 40% to you,while 5% should be for xpenses or tax as
government may require.

I have all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any
we may make. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see
deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under alegitimate
arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.
Below are the information i need from you to enable me file in an
application of claim which will be submitted to the bank as it is the
way we can experdite procedure on the cliam.

Your Full Name:

Your Resident Address:

Your Phone/Fax Number:

Yours Faithfully,
Barrister EzE 0bi


Again, don;t do anythign nasty to this fine fellow
just because he is a disgusting piece of scamming nigerian whale shit, does not give you the right to send him abusive emails, claim that you are a hampster rancher, or sign him up for porn..

Forexample, I have 1500 spam messages from ove rhte weekend.. can you iamigine if a few thousand of us, sent him our spam.. shit he woudl be so burried in it that he may miss a golden opertunity to scam somone out of their money.. and that would be just wrong.