Friday, April 28, 2006

The Continuing Adventures of Duke Lacrosse :Private Eye.. Part 8, we all got ate.

The Continuing Adventures of Duke Lacrosse :Private Eye.. Part 8, we all got ate.

When I came too, things had changed, I was no longer in that smoky smelling of body odor theater. I was in a plush hotel room, maybe it was the Hotel Royal?
My head throbbed, my member did not.. when last I was conscious I was about to bust a full nut all over Wednesday’s backside, real porn show style, when Edgar or someone Kicked my upside the head.

It was Edgar! Where is that little son-of-a-bitch?!?!? I tried to sit up, but I had been restrained to the bed.. handcuffed by my right wrist and left ankle to the posts of this larger than large and oh so soft bed.

I looked around, and did not see or hear anyone.. and my head was hurting a lot.. so I figured, I might as well make the best of this situation. I managed to work my socks off.. (the only pieces of clothing I had on.. where’s my hat?? Ah fuck it) I know if I managed to escape , I would only have to come back here, to find Wednesday and the rest, so I decided to take a little nap…

It was the sounds of voices in the corridor that awoke me, it was two women.. it may have been Tammy and Wednesday? Or was it Tammy and Ebony.. or Ebony and Tammy?? I couldn’t tell through the thick walls and door of this luxury hotel.. “Damn I thought” I have slept too long..
It was dark in the room, very, very dark.. the door opened, I couldn’t quite see enough of the silhouette of the person who entered to know who they were.. there were two or three.. maybe four.. they closed the door behind them and did not turn the light on!
“Damn!” I thought , how can I fight with a hand and a leg tied.. and blind as a bat!” I should have tried ot get free earlier.. “. I was coming to realize that this may be the end of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye!

There was a pressure on the foot of the bed.. like someone climbing in.. I readied myself to kick at the person with me free leg.. that’s when I felt hands grab at my free ankle.. and these were not man’s hands.. these hands had all the smoothness and softness of an angel.. “Wednesday!”

While Wednesday held my ankle, the other bed intruder worked their way up my body.. towards my… my.. well my growing manhood..

“What the Fuck is Wednesday doing?? And who.. who.. WHOOOOOO just starting licking my balls!?!?!?!??!” I thought now loosing all sense of self preservation and control.

Then there was another body , climbing in beside the first.. climbing up my leg.. soft kisses felt all the way up my inner leg and thigh.. and still what must have been Wednesday held my ankle..

This new arrival started sucking one of my balls! While the other person in the bed started sucking the other.. I let out an audible moan of pleasure..
That’s when my ankle was let loose.. “I could try to break free” I thought.. but what good would that do.. I am still chained by a wrist and an ankle..
I had just concluded that thought when who I assume to be the third person who had been holding my ankle, slid down towards the other two.. except she slid down towards them from near my shoulder.. I caught on the air the sweet smell I knew to be Wednesday’s and as that thought hit me.. I felt her mouth.. going down on my hard, hard member.
Soon her leg that was closest to me swung over my head and I was 69ing with her.. (I guess if you add the two that were already sucking my balls, I would have been in a 87 position!

The ladies took turns pleasuring different parts of my “neathers” with their hands and mouths.. it was not too terrible long before that feeling, that uncontrollable feeling came over me.. and I came.. I came great gushes of hot fluid.. as I expelled this huge quantity of man gravy, I could feel each mouth in turn take a pull of my sweet nectar.

Faces lips and tongues were being rubbed all over my ejaculating hardness! It was like nothing I had ever experienced.. even since knowing Wednesday.. (boy let me tell you about her someday.. wowsers!)

I heard something electronic now that the action and the moaning and my screaming was over.. what was that whirring sound??

I could feel a warm cloth washing me clean.. when I heard in a whisper the voice of Edgar?? “Cut”.

One of the people in the room bent over to kiss me. From the smell of their hair I knew is was Wednesday.. the kiss was soft and wet and sweet.. and included a surprise.. a handcuff key!

Then just as quietly as they had came the invaders left.. without saying a word.

I lay there in the dark, feeling spent beyond all memory of spentitude.. panting a little wondering what the hell had just happened to me.. was that a drive by blowing?

After going over the episode in my mind a few times, I pulled the handcuff key out of my mouth with my free hand, unlocked first my wrist then my ankle..

I reached to where I had remembered the lamp being.. and turned the switch, “click” the room was bathed in light.

My clothes lay neatly folded with my Fedora placed carefully on top on the sink in the bathroom, I went to the mini bar, and poured the two small bottles of scotch over some ice I found in there.. I sipped my Johnny Walker Black and Red combination, lit up a smoke and slowly as I put my clothes back on.. something was fishy here, and surely wasn’t Wednesday’s sweet snatch which I had had the opportunity of sampling twice inside the last.. was it 24 hours?? .. “humm what day is it?” I wondered aloud.

And so we must leave our Hero.. Finally fully dressed sipping Scotch in plush surroundings.. be sure to tune in Next time for the exciting conclusion of
Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: The Tammy NYP Incident.

For those of you who would like to read a little “professional” erotica please check out the following selections, from

American Idol Katherine McPhee Fat or PHAT.. America you decide

Random thoughts random spellings (Reviews of life): Katherine McPhee on Youtube, with wardrobe malfunction on American Idol#links
Be sure to stop by this post and vote..
Is Kat McPhee a Fat chick
or is she a hottie (PHAT)

I figure if I can get 1/25th of hte people who voted for her last week to show up, I will have a numebr one blog.
(With or without the Wardrobe Malfunction)
Love ya Kat.

Katherine McPhee on Youtube, with wardrobe malfunction on American Idol

Okay you perverts.. here's the yello dress video.

AN interesting question was posed in the comments section of this blog last night.
Kat McPhee
Hottie of Fat chick?

Well America You decide.
Leave your vote (as a comment)
Is Kat a Hottie with a Body
or just another Fat Chick in a too tight dress?
Related book and electronics.
Nudes, Diets, and South Beach

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Katherrine Katharine McPhee the American Idol Highlights.. (boobs tits knockers!)

Video of Kat McPhee.. I got the fever for the flavor of a McPhee Delux with a side of Ky and French Fries.. yeeee haw!

Isn;t this why so many American Men tune in each week to see American Idol?
It sure fucking isn't Simon is it?
And I think Paula has just plain old lost it..
(koo koo koo koo)

So I was glad to see somone do a video tribute to Katharine McPhee's hooters.

Duke Lacross Private Eye.. Part Cervix.. the Sex Slave Days (and Nights)

Duke Lacross Private Eye.. Part Cervix.. the Sex Slave Days (and Nights)

What happened next is still a blur.
I spun to see Tammy NYP, Ebony, and of course Edgar with his rod in his hand. (and a gun in the other)
But as they were clearing away the fat lady and the midgets, I saw in a far cover, Wednesday. Dear Sweet Sexy Wednesday.. all tied up and naked.

After I finished wondering how the little midget held his breath that long, I wondered what was in stor for Wednesday and I?

I didn’t have to wonder too long..

Right there in front of the crowd, I was forced up on stage.. naked except for my socks and fedora.. Wednesday was wheeled out onto the stage.. she had been tied belly down on some sort of rolling stool.. her elbows tied tight on one side, her knees tight to the other.. and slightly spread I would like to add.

“What are you planning to do to Wednesday!” I demanded, forgetting who was in possession of the gun..

“We’re not doing anything to her.. Mr. Lacrosse.. you are!” was the sharp response form Edgar.

Wednesday ha been tied up pretty good, I know she must a put up a hell of a fight, or that they had bought her a few drinks, either way, she was tied there unable to do anything to resist .. and gagged with a ball gag just for fun.. I couldn’t help think back to that first Christmas Wednesday and I spent together, the tree all decorated with Ball Gags and Vibro-Dolphin 2000’s.. “those were the days” I thought.. “those were the days.”

“Well Mr. Lacrosse, we’re waiting”, said Tammy. In a voice as cold as my ex-wife.

So I got on my knees behind Wednesday.. and thrust two fingers into her.. one into each hole six pack style. “Is this what your looking for you freaks” I said, trying to mask the fact that I was enjoyinghte hell out of this..
“Yea, Lacrosse, that’s it.. hit dat shit harder” Said Ebony, always the lady that one.

I noticed out of the corner of one eye, that Edgar had gotten out his video phone and was taping this..
Being the ham that I am I naturally started playing up to the camera.. Wednesday did to.. she managed to rock back and forth on the rollered stool..
She was a moanin and a groanin, by the time I got my wee willy winky up and ready for some hot Wednesday doggy style..

I put jus the tip in at first.. Wednesday was screaming something.. but with the ball gag it only sounded like “MFF REMM mEDD MERFET”

Well here goes nothing.. and In the big boy slid.. okay in slid little boy.. (damn it’s my story you would think I could call it big boy without everyone getting all emotional) Wednesday felt good , damn good.. I grabbed an handful of her chestnut hair, and pulled her back into me hard.. again and again.. making a clapping sound when her ass hit my hips.. she was digging it I could tell by the way her eyes had rolled up into her head.. and the little bit of drool that had made it past the ball gag..

“Now Mr. Lacrosse.. rim the young lady” It was tammy that bimbo.

Far be it from me to not follow the directions of a lady, so between Wednesday’s sweet, red from the hip slapping cheeks I dove. Wednesday always tastes sweet as candy. ..and I was really enjoying myself now, despite the gun Edgar held.. “Hey wait a minute!” I thought” How is Edgar still holding that gun if he’s video taping us, with his cell phone?” “Ah who gives a fuck, I always wanted to do Wednesday in front of a crowd” I finished my thought..

All the while I was down there, I was working on Wednesdays knots. Not that I thought she would try to get out of this position before one of us had finished.
“I think she’s cumming” Tammy said in her sweet and innocent voice..
Edgar practically pushed me off of my prey to get a good close up.. damn video phone should have zoom!

Wednesday did com.. and for a long while she shuddered against my face mouth tongue and lips..

When she was finally spent, I got up behind her and slipped “The little president” in again. It felt hot and wet, and just right..

“No!” I heard Edgar yell.. “That’s a cut!” he said as he kicked me upside my head hard..

The little bastard must a known Karate or some such shit because that was all I remembered.. he had kicked me unconscious.

Thus ends Part Seven of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye : the Tammy NYP Incident.

See what the Critics are saying about Duke Lacrosse Private Eye

“Is it porn? Is it Comedy? Whatever it is it sure is fucked up”
The Breport Examiner

“How did this sick son of a bitch ever live this long”
Nixeclpis Evil Shouldn’t Look This Good Blog

“Crazy Yank Cunt… I stopped going there.. it’s just to disturbing”
Welcome To Wally World.

“You can fool me once, shame on .. you, but.. you see.. a fool can’t get fooled again.”
President George W. Bush

“He thinks that’s Funny???”
Matt and Trey of Southpark

“I don’t get it.”
Kellie Pickler Former American Idol Contestant

Be sure not to miss our next exciting episode..
(TO be continued)

For my readers who do not yet have broadband.. let me suggest.
VERIZON ONLINE DSL: Broadband Internet access starting at $17.99/mo. Get one month free when you order online. Click here to learn more.

American Idol, the now famous UpSkirt shot of Katherine McPhee

See NYC BloG for all the hot sexy photos from the show. The Katherine McPhee Up Skirt Boob Show.. oops, I mean American Idol Brought to you by the Ford Focus and the letters F-U-C and K

I heard that there was an upskirt photo of Katherine McPhee and well being the curious reporter that I have sown myself to be.. I had to find it for you.. and at the link above it is.. and so much more.. boobs, boobs, and more boobs, I had heard that there was a Katherine McPhee Nipple Slip out there in cyber space too, but so far I have been unable to locate it.

I like how she wore matching panties , shows class.. of course it would have been better if she had chosen to go commando .. but that’s why wishes are for wishing.. and each episode she reveals a little more.. hell by finals night, she may come out and sing while shooting a porn video. (Us perverts can only hope)

Actually I like Kat. I found her boring in spots, but she interviews so much better than Kellie Pickler ever did..
I have said and will continue to say that Katherine McPhee has the perfect voice for Disney soundtracks… and for screaming my name out in the middle of the night.. (oops was I wishing again?? )

So Katherine congratulations, it looks like you will be there in the end.. Elliot should have gone home two weeks ago, and Paris, while likeable is just not that much of a presence on stage.

I will still encourage everyone to vote for the best voice up there, Chris. But Kat, you are okay in my book. (And SEXY as all HELL!)

Stay tuned, next another exciting episode of Duke Lacrosse, Private Eye.

If you love celebrity nudes.. check this book out..

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Duke Lacrosse Private Eye.. Part Sex. Six inches more or less. (plus American Idol katharine mcphee Notes)

The continuing sage of Duke Lacross in the Tammy NYP Incident.. has been postponed so that we may bring you the following American Idol

katharine mcphee notes: From a disgruntled viewer.

Dear American Idol You suck.
Dear Judges of American Idol You suck
Dear voters of american Idol You suck
To Katharine McPhee Have my illigitamte babies... please?
All I am askign for is one good nipple slip before you go.. please???

I had thought that we would be pleasantly suprised by Kellie Pickler.. but lets face facts, in the last two weeks she has sucked a big fat one. ( I predict she goes home).. she will still have a brilliant country music carreer, and if I am lucky mother two or three of my kids before she finds out i am old fat bald amd married.

Katharine McPhee has done well.. the judges did not like her, but for fuck's sake we all know at least one of the judges is drunk, stonned or out of her fucking mind koo-koo so that leaves the black guy and the arsehole.. who are you going to turn to.. well K turn to me.. let big daddy D help you through these harrowing times.

Sure I had a thing with Kellie Pickler, cause Like the Beatles sang.. "She's got a pickle to ride.. she's got a pickle to ri-hi-hide she's got a pickle to ride, an' she don' care.. my baby don' care.. "
But I digress..
Anyway, I am happy to see that the number of American Idol posts noted by technorati is at an all time low.. perhpas America is getting wiser. (But I fuckin doubt it)

Hell writing that lame assed Duke Lacross Private Eye stuff is more entertaing.. than watching that painfull excuse of a talent show.. wouldn't we all just kill for a bit of the old Star Search right about now. (Or is that a bit of the old in-out in-out? I can never remember which is which.. my balzac looks so much like Ed McMahon.
anyway, I am done with my little tyrade, so back to your regularl programing..

Duke Lacrosse Part Sex.. Six Inches more or Less.

Yea, I knew what Wednesday was trying to tell me.. She was at the XX Theator on LaRue Street with the three O faced fuck sticks I had been chasing all night.. or was that day? I can;t keep them straight.. and she is wanting me to meet them there.

I drove as fast as my ol' '39 would take me.. (again about 17 MPH.. fucking downtown traffic)
And inside of 35 minutes I had traveld the 3 blocks to teh LaRue Street XXX Theator and Live Adult Entertainment Palace.
(Lefty for the plug that will cost you a fiver)

I jumped form my car before it had completely stopped which is a damn dumb thing to do with suicide doors, knocked me clean on my keester..
That's when the bullet tore through the padded leather work of the door, missed my head by 6 inches more or less. (WHat did you people think the title was about?? Fuckin perverts!)

I tucked and rolled, just like my apholstry had been .. bastard.. and stood in the ready stance to pop off a few from my heater back at the son-of-a-bitch that had just ruined $35 worth of leatherette on my door.
But there was nobody there.. just an open door, .. open as if begging me to enter.. open and ready for me.. somehow this made me think of Tammy's legs?

Then I though of Wednesday's nipple drops, and cleared my head again.
"You better be careful this time you old dick" I said to myself. (And to my old dick)

Slowly I entered.. being that it was ony 10 Am, the place was only half full of perverts whinos and priests.. it was an easy stroll to the front of the theator.. this was the live show side, and two well oiled midgets were having there way with a 600 pound samoan woman up on the stage..
I stood back to the stage looking out over the half sea of perverts and priests.. and called. "Tammy , Edgar, Ebony.. I know your in here!"
The only sound I heard was that creepy semi-claping sound that your balls make when your are jerking too hard.. then one tall Japanese man in front said 'Sit down.. your spoiling the show...Well I wasn't sittin for anyone doing that poor of a Charlie Chan impersonation. When I hard the click of a .45 colt semi auto from behind me..
"Don;t move" came the steely voice of Edgar..
It seems he had been hiding with his .45 in one of the Samoan woman's fat rolls..
"I ain't moving nowhere Edgar" I said.. thinking how I could best move to avoid takin one in the knoggen.

"remove your clothes" Duke.. This time it was the voice of Tammy
Not being one to upset a lady I dropped my drawers, and ripped my shirt off.. yes friend there I stood, in my socks, and a fedora..

"Turn around , let momma get a good look at ya".. it was Ebony sweet and sultry sounding..
"Only if Edgar ain't gonna get an itchy finger" I said..
"Oh he ain't," said Ebony.

"No I don't like finger man.. I finger Tammy and that's about it" said Edgar..
I turned to face them.. there on the stage..
The midgets and fat lady were just finising up.. and the fat lady had begin to sing with orgasmic delight.. from where I stood it looked like one midget was fucking her with the other smaller midget.. now that's getting into your work I thought... Only that little bastard's feet were sticking out.. and the other midget, was laughing and pumping him in and out by his ankles...
The fat lady sang...
(And of course when the fat lady sings.. it's all over....)
So concludes part six of Duke Lacrosse.. Private Eye..
Tune in Tomarrow, or the next day for episode seven.. the "as yet to be named episode"..

felt up in a jail house.. (plus Paris Hilton Up-Skirt)

If this guy spells like I do.. he has a problem with getting gropped while in jail.. if however, he actually uses spell check, or worse knows HOW to spell.. he's doin all right.
Big Foot, Bio Diesel , and not a bimbo in sight.

I think if he upped his bombo content he would have a truly succesful blog...
on that note I bring you an up skirt picture of Paris Hilton.
Thank you.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

How to Guarantee Success at Blogging. (In five or six or seven easy steps)

How to Guarantee Success at Blogging. (In five or six or seven easy steps)

(This from a complete raving lunatic!)

First, always write well, always use spell check and proper grammar is a must.

Second, try to write about something topical, and in the minds of the reading population. A few good examples would be Tammy NYP, Bush, Brrreeeport, Neo-Nazis, French Muslims going ape shit, or rampaging Islamic Asshole Fundamentalists throwing a hissy fit over a fucking cartoon. When you rub out of topics to write about, go to technorati and look to see what is currently being talked about. If you do not know what something is, you can either look it up using a service like the one provided at Wikipeadia or you can just make something up. Technorati will post the top ten or so topics, so write a nice story that has as many of those words in it ass possible.. but try to make it look like you know what your talking about.. example of bad topic cherry picking.

"Bush likes Sex", said Duke Lacrosse as he unzipped his Brrreeeport. I didn’t know you smoked Brrreeeports said Deb LaFaye as she slowly unbuttoned her Kaavya Viswanathan.
"my god what a huge set of Osama's Crusade in Darfur you have there Deb." said John Tierney: as he picked up his iPod made in Iran right next to Iraq in the Oil Fields of Alibaba and Baba Ganoush.

See that just reads like spam, and spam while a tasty treat when mixed with the blood of human infants is not a good thing for your readers.

Third, talk about topics that interest you, it is a lot easier to talk about something you are interested in, so try to pick a topic, that you would read about and write about that. A good example here, would be Sex, or Masturbation, or Floggin the Dolphin or taking nude photos of the underaged (looking) girl next door.

Fourth, Photographs and Video if you can offer the public a glimps at something that they can’t see anywhere else in the world, in photos or video you have a sure fire winner. Take for example Tammy NYP, had she posted her video to her own blog, she could have made a mint. If you can get photographic proof that your neighbor is having sex with Sasquach again.. instant success! Or even better, get your grandmother to video tape you using a video phone having sex with a bigfoot and BLAMO! You get more popular than Daphne Teo, Xaxaiue, Clapbangkiss chick, and Bruna Bianco all rolled up into one hot sweaty chocolate covered wet tee shirt.

Fifth Swear like a drunken sailor.. yep, people love to hear you speak in raw and vulgar tones.. so even if you are reporting about the Church Brunch last Sunday, throw in a few well placed MF’s and GD’s for flavor. Beter than that, is to pick somone real of ficticous nd pretend that you are swearing at them! It really doesnt matter, who it is, people love to see strife in other people's lives.. I once thought about making a myspace site, that had all sorts of cute adn cuddly animal pictures adn love poetry and all things sweet and nice, adn then coming back here adn calling myself degrading names.. only I would not tell my readers that I was calling myself a raggady assed fag whore.. (get it??) Springer got his popularity by flaunting other people's mostly whith trash's problems.. if you can pretend you are a crazy swearing piece of white beer drinking nascar watching trash.. you may just make a million!

Sixth (not quite last and not quite least) leave comments wherever you go, that include your blogs URL.. for example, Nix left me a message where he called me a “gotard”, which is better than the Goat fucker I called him.. so what did I do.. I posted a link to Nix and said something like.. to see the worlds tiniest penis fuckdiddling a sheep click here.

And finally, do something news worthy.. go eat a neighbor Jeffrey Dahlmer style , or write a cannibal cookbook, or talk about how you dream about roasting baby ducklings in their own mothers bile before feeding then to starving African children… just be unique or be a slut.. it really is all up to you.

And those my friends are the secrets to blog success as I see them..
Have a comment??
Go get stuffed.,

PS tags don't hurt either.. see technorati for info on how to make those.

The continuing saga of Duke Lacrosse Part Fix The Fix is in.

As now made famous(er) by the posting here. Thanks Fisher WY
The continuing saga of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye continues..

Part Fix
The Fix is in.

I raced for the Hotel Royal at top speed. Which considering it was nine in the morning, and Rush hour was in full effect was about 12 miles per hour.
The whole time flashes of the past evenings events ran through my mind.
Wednesday looking sexier than I had ever seen her.. (mental note look into Collagen injections for Wednesday , her birthday is coming up.. aw shit Tuesday was her birthday.. no wonder she’s sore)

Okay, no problem collagen, and an all expense paid trip to Hedonism II and she’ll forgive me.

The look that crossed Tammy’s face, when Edgar being Hung? Was that fear? Was it delight? Was it that look a gal gets just before sinking her teeth into a pillow? Yep that was it!
There must be a new tape, a all Tammy All Anal All the Time Tape?
Or maybe those were just the lyrics of that new Potatoebabies song? I was still mildly confused and dazed by Wednesday’s nipple knock out drops.

I pulled into the Hotel Royal just in time to see Hung and a black super model named Ebonay run to a waiting Bentley and skidder out into traffic..

“FUCK FUCK FUCK” I yelled aloud, knowing full well my little 5 window coupe would never catch them in this traffic. Also realizing that I could easily catch up to them on foot, in this traffic, I decided that I would much rather go see if I could find Wednesday and Tammy than exhert myself this early in the morning, and before my first Bourbon.

So up to the desk of the Hotel Royal I strode, this place looked right at home in a bad 1940's gangster movie, but what in this story doesn’t? I rang the bell and no sooner than the ringing stopped a fat man in a too tight red velvet suit stuck his head out of the back office..
“Um, what can I do you for” he said in a voice as cliché’ as that cliché’.

“I am looking for a gal, a small Asian gal with a pert little set of”. (had I said too much? I thought, not completing my description)

“Ahh who aint?.”said the fat man a big greasy chicken eating grin overcoming his big greasy chicken eating face. “You’re looking for them dames in 69.”

“Who ain’t looking for a pair of dames in 69” I thought.. “Yea that’s them” I said.

“They ain’t here no more, But if your names is LaRue I got something for ya.” Said the fat man as he walked back to his office.

“Le Rue, well that’s a new one” I thought” Usually I get called Dick or Duck, fucked up my last name that’s a new one… fat bastard”

The fat man brought out in his fat hands a note, covered in chicken grease, and Wednesdays chicken scratch.. I knew her hand writing anywhere, that bimbo could’a been a doctor, until she met me.. the chicken grease was from the fat man, but for a moment I imagined it was Vasalene and I wasn’t the only one that got “The Treatment” last night..

“Anything else bub?” I said to the fat man.

“Nope, just the note” he said and walked back to his 12 piece bucket.

On the outside of the improvised envelope the note was in it said “To Dick LaRue”
Wednesday.. I thought.. I gotta pay somone to smack her a good one.
I opened the note with a speed born of fear.. and the need to use the john.
It read simply”
Having a great time wish you were here.

“Aww hugs and kisses.. fuckin fruity broad” I thought aloud.. as I tossed the note into the hopper just inside the can in the lobby of the hotel.

I do a lot of my best thinking when I am on the crapper, and this morning was no exception.. Besides solving that whole speed of light speed limit thing, I figured out what it was that Wednesday was trying to tell me in her note.
(to be continued)

Be sure to tune in for part SeX of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: The Tammy NYP Incident.

MySpace.. can someone explain this one to me?

Okay myspace.. I see it as the place where teenaged girls meet Ol Dirty Bastards.

Come on.. how many times do you hear about some fucking canibal mutha fucker, Jeffry Dahlmer School Of Culinary Arts graduate meeting somone on myspace?

Or is that just the reefer madness of our times..
"Oh don;t go to myspace.. you'll get abducted by Hannibal Lecter..."

Well remember.. It puts the lotion in the basket .. bitch.


Monday, April 24, 2006

Bloggers! Bush Haters! iPod Users.. this year give the gift that counts!

Bloggers! Bush Haters! iPod Users.. this year give the gift that counts!

What may that be you ask?
This year give the gift of google!

Of course you will need a website, a blog, or to post on to other peoples blogs alot for this to happen.. but put in a little effort and show the one you care how you realy feel about them

Let me tell you how this works...
Make a post on your blog, or on a website, or someone else's blog using the following easy to learn html code
(write it down)

It is important that you have all of the code included above.. so lets say for example I wanted to call Nix a "big fat dickhead" my code would look like this
and when it showed up in in a post it would look like this.
Big fat Dickhead

Then take your new magical code, and paste it everywhere that accepts HTML markup like the "Edit HTML" section in blogger, and like it is in so many blogger and non blogger comment areas... then wait.. wait for google to crawl a few of your posts.. note this can take a few weeks, so you have plenty of tiem to post it around alot!
Then when somone searches for that special term (example in the code above "Big Fat Dickhead") your friend/lover/person of special interest will pop right up on page one of the search engine google!
Isn't technology grand?

In a resent case of this, the term Big Fat Loser was given to Michael Mooer, biggest loser went to George W. Bush.. go on go to and try it.. it's fun.
Google did change the results, but if you now try big fat idiot, you will get the picture.

It is a good idea to make up your own term or one that is not aready used too much online.. so for a lover, you could use the term "mylovergivesthebesthead" not too many people are trying to say that all in one word... or lets sy it is a person of special interest.. you could write "(personsname)isacocksucker" you ge the picture.. don;t you?
Well go forth and have a little fun..
and the first person to write "delorumrexsucksballs" gets it!

Fahrenheit 9/11 a review.. quick review.. quick non anti bush review..

Fahrenheit 9/11 a review.. quick review.. quick non anti bush review..

Okay I broke down and watched Michel Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11 a couple of days ago.
I was really looking for some truly amazing reveal but what I got was not much.
An anti-war anti-bush piece of propaganda.

I actually found myself looking for some real dark conspiracy theory stuff, and found a good bit of it on youtube.. mostly tripe, but some stuff that albeit fiction was pretty creative.

(I won’t go into details, and some of you know why.. damn NSA) (oops did I say too much there?)
Anyway, if you hate the Bush Administration, or if you regret voting for bush or if you didn’t vote for bush and want to feel glib about it, rent Fahrenheit 9/11
Or make me a few pennies by buying it from by using the kink below.

For rentals, I say screw Nix, use Inteliflix.. check them out by clicking banner provided here..

intelliflix online dvd rentals!

Here are a few other September 11th films and videos, most are less offensive than Michael Moore's Movie. (If that sort of thing offends you.. I am not here to judge)

The ever continuing saga of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye :pART fUX The Tammy NYP Incident

The ever continuing saga of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye : The Tammy NYP Incident

Well Wednesday and I really got it on.. well actually we took it all off, and Wednesday got on. But I digress..
Her lips swollen with passion and that little swak I gave her in the much earlier tasted even sweeter than the had earlier in episode one when I had her.. well never mind…

It was her nipples that tasted queer.. no not “Brokeback” Queer, odd queer.. like I imagine Michael More must taste queer..

That’s when it hit me.. knockout drops.. dear sweet Wednesday had tainted her nipples.. and taint, I would guess with knockout drops.. I could hear her giggling and asking “Who’s your daddy?” just before everything turned gray.. then black.

When I woke up, it was morning, I could tell it was morning, because of the smell of pilitas rising up through the air. That and the fact that Springer was on the tube.

My head hurt, a lot, my ass hurt even more.. It seems Wednesday caught my remark about hiding handcuff keys there, because once I managed to undue the duct tape Wednesday had restrained me with , I found the hand cuff keys, the hand huffs, a bull whip, a can of ready whip, and two dead garbles up there) The gerbils may have been from that party Wednesday and I went to earlier in the night so I wrote them off, but my ass knows no pain such as a Wednesday scorned.

“Damn” I said aloud to the television, Springer always puts me in a foul mouth mood, I lost that card.. Wednesday??? I Thought.. seems she wanted to take up the invitation.. without me.. that naughty bitch.. (make mental note, don’t smack Wednesday over this), then out the door I went.
I hopped into my 1939 five window coupe. (because what else would a private eye named Duke Lacrosse drive) and headed for the Hotel Royal….

“I hope I am not to late” is all I could think..

To be continued…
Will Duke get to the Hotel in time to Video Tape, Edgar, Tammy, Ebony and Wendsday in action??? Tune in tomorrow to find out..

(special Note the Stan Marsh for President picture has nothign to do with this, but Warner Bros, told me if I posts another picture of Boggie, that they would come done here and their lawyers would take turns hiding things up my ass.. and it was either Stan or Kenny Rodgers before and after face lift pictures, and quite frankly Kenny Rodgers scares me more than the Lawyers from Warner Brothers.)

PS. See the latest rumor about tammy at Brrreeeport: rumor has it that Tammy Heard of Clapbangkiss and thought it was a condition, and activity, and something the Edgar never does after a BJ.

either blogger is fucked or I am???

Okay, so I posted a little anti-bush , illuminati , thing yesterday, and today I can't post to blogger.. could it be coincident?
(you betcha)
but just in case..
Dear Government Watchers,
I apologize for posting stuff that made Bush look evil, or part of some global control minded secret society.
We all know Bush is not smart enough to run the country much less the WORLD.. I was just funnin'

And just in case you are reading this, please pass it along, that I am willing to work for whoever pays the most.. (I am assuming that with a 2 billion dollar a day war budget, that you could make me an offer, to write stuff that makes bush, skull and bones, and the illuminati look like saints!) I figure I will blog all the wonders of GW adn the gang for $3500 a week.. see note even the Billion Dollars some of my contemporaries would have asked for..
(All you woudl have to do is take a half a day off in Iraq... so on second thought??? Better write fast, before i change my mind 'eh?) (oh yea, I will even use spell check for an aditional $100 a day! Now you can't beat that!!!)
and lets not forget $3500 a week is cheaper than Rush costs you.. and not having a drug addiction, I will be a lot less apt to ask for a raise every time the price of oxycodone goes up. Think about it???

If however you would prefer I just shut the fuck up.. I am sure you know my personal email address by now, so hey drop me a line, tell me to shut up and I will no big deal.. (no need to Waco me) I will just go on writing about tammy nyp and other things that make me grin, and leave good old Dubya alone.. I promise.

Hot tub and Spa Survey.. things to ponder.. no tammy nyp

Hot Tub Survey:
Interesting facts to consider.
(Info stolen shamelessly from Hot Tub Information Central)

Consumer polling section:

Which of the following was most important in choosing a spa / hot tub
Size 6%
Jet count 2%
Horsepower 2%
Price 23%
Brand 12%
Dealer Reputation 23%
Design 22%
Other (none of the above) 11%

How often do you use your spa?
More than once per day 2%
Once per day 9%
3-6 times per week 60%
once or twice per week 21%
less than once per week 2%
less than once a month 4%
None of the above 2%

How many spa dealers will you / did you visit before buying?
1 – 7%
2-3 – 48%
3-4 – 28%
5-6 – 13%
more than 6 – 2%
None will buy online or used. – 2%

How important is price in your buying decision?
The most important: 5%
Very Important: 43%
Important: 43%
Not very important: 7%
Not a consideration: 2%

How important is Service after the sale?
The most important: 42%

Very Important: 30%
Important: 16%
Not very important: 7%
Not a consideration: 5%

How important is the design of the spa / hot tub in your buying decision?
The most important: 23%
Very Important: 67%
Important: 9%
Not very important: 0%
Not a consideration: 0%

How many people on average use your spa at one time?
1- 9%
2 – 75%
3 – 9%
4- 5%
5 – 2%
6 – 0%
more than 6 – 0%

(Current Spa owners only! ) How much did you spend for your spa?
>$1000 – 4%
$1000 - $2000 – 6%
$2000 - $3000 – 4%
$3000 - $4000 – 20%
$5000 - $6000 – 22%
$6000 - $7000 – 10%
$7000 - $8000 – 14%
$8000- $9000 – 8%
$9000 - $10,000 – 6%
>$10,000 – 4%

(Current Spa Shoppers only! ) How much do you plan to spend for your new spa?
>$1000 – 0%
$1000 - $2000 – 5%
$2000 - $3000 – 27%
$3000 - $4000 – 32%
$5000 - $6000 – 18%
$6000 - $7000 – 5%
$7000 - $8000 – 5%
$8000- $9000 – 5%
$9000 - $10,000 – 5%
>$10,000 – 0%

(Current Spa Dealers only! ) What is the average spa sale in your store?
>$1000 – 8%
$1000 - $2000 – 0%
$2000 - $3000 – 4%
$3000 - $4000 – 4%
$5000 - $6000 – 15%
$6000 - $7000 – 35%
$7000 - $8000 – 23%
$8000- $9000 – 8%
$9000 - $10,000 – 4%
>$10,000 – 0%

Spa and Hot Tub Dealer polling section

Do you charge a trip or travel fee for warranty service?
Yes, always – 61%
No, never – 11%
Sometimes: Depends on the distance to the tub. – 22%
Sometimes depends on the nature of the call – 0%
Sometimes depends on the attitude of the customer. – 0%
I do not understand the question. – 6%

Dealers: Do you sell the chemicals to treat the spas / hot tubs you sell?
Yes – 100%
No – 0%
Some but not all – 0%

Dealers: Do you sell aftermarket items for the spas / hot tubs you sell?
Yes, we have many items – 79%

Yes, we have a few items – 7%
We only sell covers and chemicals – 7%
We sell chemicals only – 0%
No we do not have any items for after the sale.- 0%
Other – 7%

DEALERS ONLY: What is the most important factor in deciding to sell a brand or line of spas.
Cost – 13%
Features – 0%
Design – 0%
Brand Name – 7%
Factory Support – 73%
Warranty Duration – 0%
Ease of Warranty usage- 0%
Dependability of Product – 0%
Other – 7%

A special note: This information is being used with the express written permission of the webmaster of hot tub info central

All rights reserved by Hot Tub Info Central.

Permission to duplicate or distribute this in part or in whole in writing, electronic format or other medium should be requested of the webmaster at Hot Tub Info Central prior to distribution.
For further information please see Hot Tub Information Central

Thanks Doc.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Earth Day Observations. and quasi Political Rantings

Earth Day Observations.

WTF?!?!?! Did anyone notice a seeming complete lack of Earth Day coverage in the media?

I have to wonder even more now about the evil conservatives in office and there control of the media.

You get a bleeding heart liberal in office and all you hear about in the month of April is Earth Day.

How many of us missed that Yesterday 4-22 was earth day.. it fuckin mind control I tell ya!!!

(Okay I had a cold and was sick and in bed yesterday, so even if all the stations were running 24 hr earth day coverage, I would have missed it.) But still I am surprised at how many people (bloggers) are paying earth day homage a day late?

Also did you notice the complete lack of 4-20 coverage?
Lets get a libertarian in office and see if that happens again!

(For those of you not in the know April 20th is National Legalization day (Marijuana) at 4:20 PM on 4-20 you were supposed to spark up for the cause)

Here are some books so you can get learned in the next 12 months.. do not disappoint me again.. you bunch of sissy wankers!

and now for our 4-20 selection...

and as long as were talking books.. let me bring you some book spam.

the Great Chinese Fake Out

and Finaly a bit on Bush..
(Titles are their own comments)

and before you start thinking you will Vote for Kerry, John this next election read this shit...

Goodnight and Good Luck...

Duke Lacrosse Private Eye.. Part Trix.. The Reverse Camel

Duke Lacrosse Part Trix..

So after I wiped Wednesday's lipstick off of my hand, not its usually place on my anatomy. I asked Tammy..
"So Doll what have you done with Hung?"

"What haven't I done" she replied.
"Come on doll stop trying to show off in front of Wednesday and just tell me where you put hung."

"She didn't do a reverse camel with a half gainer" Said Mel the greasy spoon's owner.

"Shut UP!" was Tammy's only response.
Seems everyone knew who was Hung tonight.

"Meet me at this place, a little after midnight" Tammy said shoving a business card into my hand and quickly exiting this fine dining establishment.
Mel's Dinner at 2245 Parkside Ave, in Ravenna. (Mel that will cost you a fiver)

I turned to Wednesday, she was upset at the little love tap I had given her earlier, and I knew before the night was over, I would be calling her "daddy"... "It says the Hotel Royal" and has an address.. "

"Is there a room number" said Wednesday.

"On the back of the card it says "69. but I ain't sure if that's an invitation or a room number?"

"You're a whore." was all Wednesday had to say..


We went back to my place. Wednesday was sore at me ,so I gave her a little bit of ice to rub on her full luscious lips.. Usually if we were rubbing ice on Wednesdays lips it meant something different.. something sexual, but it was late, and Wednesday was pissed, so I have a feeling that the blindfolds and handcuffs, if they were used tonight would be so that I didn't know were Wednesday had dropped my drugged body off at, and to keep me from resisting.
I made a mental note.. "Don't smack Wednesday without a hidden handcuff key up my ass."

"Are you going to meet her?" Wednesday said after a short while

"After the meating she took from Edgar, I am not sure what purpose that would serve, but I was thinking about it" I admitted.

"Can I come along" Wednesday asked, sounding more timid than usual.

"Listen Doll I don't care where you cum, as long as you clean up after yourself" I said, taking advantage of her timely timidity, and knowing full well she was only playing up to me.

"We've got an hour to kill before we have to leave." Wednesday said looking even more smashing than normal with her pouty Angelina Jolie lips.. (I mad another mental note.. ) "What do you want to do with it?"

I grinned at her knowingly.. she grinned back, even more knowingly, too bad I didn't catch her knowing more than I did in time....

(to be continued!.. check back later for the continuing saga of "Duke Lacrosse Private Eye!"