Thursday, June 29, 2006

Wanted! Elmer McDowell for crimes against all Humanity!

Take a good look at this picture.
have you seen this man?

This is Elmer McDowell
Last seen in the Cutler Ridge, Florida area (Just south of Miami)
in or about June 1992

Yes, he is a large man wearing a toga!
He may not be wearing a toga at this time.
He also may not be drinking a nice cold Budweiser.. the King of Beers. (More like the King of Goat Pee if you ask me.. but that's just my opionion)

Seems I have lost Elmer along the way.. he was such a large man, that I thought I could put him down anywhere and easily go back and spot him.. but with my memory.. I just can;t remember where it was I put him.
He may be in Denver, Co. He may be somewhere else.

Elmer was my friend growing up in Cutler Ridge. We went to school together and generaly just got into trouble together. The picture above was taken at a costume party in 1984 but elmer was unchanging in his apearance, (excepting the Toga) so I suspect he still looks much like this today.

Elmer McDowell would be ~39 years of age today.

It seems that I am in need of him once again.. to get into mischief with.. so if you have seen Elmer, or you think you may know somone who has.. please pass this on. With luck we will find him..
my contact email for this sort of thing is delorumrex (at)

Duke Lacrosse Private Eye, St's Blood part 12

Duke Lacrosse Private Eyes, St’'s Blood part 12.
"Well knowing her the way I do, I would have to say, that there ain't a man on the earth that wouldn't do anything for her." I said with a smile.

His brow knitted as if thinking hard on this.. he said "even kill?"
To be continued..

He laughed a little at this and drove away..
It was still daylight, and the sun was really starting to make my eyes ache.. I had to wonder what really was happening to me.. and now being free, at least temporarily, I knew I would see her again. And that this time I would keep my wits about me, and ask some hard questions. or so I thought.

I flagged a taxi, and told the cabbie to take me to my office. I had no real desire to go where the two gilrs I was accused of killing had been.
I keep a sofa in my office, not for clients to sit on, but for late nights, when I can’t get back home, or for when a “client” decided to pay in “trade” .. today it was going to be for sleep. The building my office is in is an old one, with nice creeky wooden floors throughout. The hard woods make a hell of a banging when someone just walkes on them, but een if somone is trying their best to sneak down a hallway, the creek will always give them away. Today as tired as I was feelign I doubted that the booming or creekign would disturb me very much.
Upon first entering the room, I was surprised that the office had not been rifled though as I had thought for sure the coppers would have done looking for evidence.. then I noticed that the light on Wednesday’s desk was on. On her desk was an envelope. On the outside it simple said “Duke” it was Wednesday’s handwriting, I took it into the back office and sat at my desk. The blonds were drawn and I did not bother turning on any light, my eyes, were just now starting to stop their incessant burning, I opened the letter.
It read:
“ "Dear Duke,
I will not be back.
We have had some good times, and more than our share of laughs. But a gal needs something more solid than a fun playmate, a girl needs a man who will always be there for her, and who will be faithful. I have found such a man. Do you remember Edgar from that time we were in Singapore? He called me the night I left the office mad at you. We had tea, and he told me he had not been able to stop thinking about me since we had our “encounter”. He said that he knew he could be the man of my dreams, and that he would never let me out of his sight long enough for a prank like that to be pulled on him. He has quit the porn business, and has a little shop where he sells Oriental rugs and furnishings. We are very happy together. I hope you can be happy for me too.
PS. The cops messed your office up pretty badly, so I put everything back where it was
Now I know I should have been shaken up at loosing Wednesday, but actually I was kinda happy for the kid. And she did do a hell of a job puttting the office back into shape.

I poured a scotch from the bottle I keep in my desk and thought about my luck.
You see Wednesday and I were playmates, hell we were fuck buddies for years, and I had always kept her just that. I never thought twice about being in love, really.. so I guess I never knew what I was missing. My client the Countess had changed all of that, I was falling, and falling hard, and there was not a damn thing I could do about it. I had dreaded the day that Wednesday came back to the office. We may not have been perfect, but we were friends, and I did not want to break my friend’s heart. Now I find out that she was thinking she was going to break mine.. ain’t that rich!?!
Hell, I would send her a postcard sometime and tell her I wished her well. She was a good kid, and a hell of a receptionist.

I finished my scotch, took my tie off and laid back on the couch. For a while, thoughts of the Countess danced though my mind, the way she looked, the way she smelled and the way she felt.. I thought back on my dreams, and the bite that ended them.. and I wondered, was everything I was told as a kid, to scare me and make want to be a good boy true? Were the storied of vampires real? It seemed that they were, and I have just became a part of one of those stories. “So many questions I had.. so many” and then sleep came.

My sleep was without dreams.. it was the “sleep of the dead” I thought later, then dismissed as being silly and dramatic. But it was a very good sleep none the less.
I awoke with a start, eyes opening slowly into the dark room, only slightly lit by the lamp that sat atop what had been Wednesday’s desk, on the other side of the frosted glass door.
There was a figure standing not three feet away from me, in the blurr that is first sight after a long sleep, it looked like a great wooly white monster! I reached instinctively to where my holster should have been, but was not..

“"Duke it’s me".” Came the soothing voice of the Countess.
“"Oh hey doll"”.. I sad a big blurry minded and mouthed. Why didn’'t I hear the office door open, or the creaky floorboards. It was night by the darkens and it must have been late, because the building was dead silent.. “"I must have been sleeping really hard."
I said.
“"Yes, and you looked so peaceful I did not want to disturb you.”" She said in a near whisper.
She was wearing that with fur that I had seen her in the night before, as she moved closer I saw that there may just have been nothing under it.. she came and sat beside me. Her hand went to my leg, and her touch excited me.

“"Are you okay?"” .She said.
“"Yea, but I have a few questions…" I replied running my hands thought my hair trying to look my best.
I noticed that even with nearly no light my vision was as clear as if it were day.

“"You may ask anything you want of me, and I will answer any thing that I can.”" She said this as her hand moved gently up and down my thigh. My hand went to hers, and I held her hand for a long minute, trying to put my thoughts together.

"“What have you done to me?"” was my first question.
“"I have saved your life, and shared a secret with you, that I do not share with anyone outside of my family.”" On the word “family” she gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

“"Okay.. let me try to be blunt..”"I stammered, her eyes were so hypnotizing, I just wanted to take her into my arms and make love to her.. but I had to know.. so I continued…” "am I , a.. a.. vampire now?”"

She laughed a sweet little laugh, and said.. “"No my love.. it does not work that way, at least not for us.”"
She put an emphasis on "“us"” that I found disconcerting.

“"What do you mean by “us”?"” I asked, truly curious by this response.

“"There are different families or even species, of Vampyre for my family there is only one way to be “turned” for other families there are other ways. Many I am sure, include what you know from your childhood, bogeyman stories.”" was she reading my mind again?

"“But when I tasted your blood.. it , it healed me!”" once I had said this I realized that I wanted to be a part of whatever she was part of, regardless of the consequences.

“"yes, yes my blood gave you strength, as yours had given to me, on those three nights I took it." and” as she said this her eyes seemed to focus on the memory of those nights, and her tongue licked slowly across her upper lip.. oh god how I wanted to kiss her.. and here it was that she read my mind again.. she leaned in and I took her into my arms.. and we kissed.

After a long, long kiss, I pulled back… and said “"why did you save me?”" I was hoping to hear, “"because I love you"” and expecting to hear “"because your job is not done yet”" my answer came in the form of another kiss.. only this time as she kissed me she pulled at the buttons of my shirt.. I pulled at her coat’s buttons in response, and after a short time, my clothes and her coat lay on the floor in a heap..
To be continued..

Monday, June 26, 2006

Mr Silent Killer-Gas Passer Youtube Video FUNNY!

I work with this guy!
He farts in technocolor! I swear he has a different scent each day.. one day, it's egg salad, the next road kill.. some days, it is like an old hot trash can.. its fucking amazing!

Tracy Chapman Fast Car.. the Video thank you youtube!

I have always liked this song.. the words really have no special meaning to me, but the tune is haunting.. and I dig the guitar riff.

another song that has a simlar effect on me is this one.
Everlast , What its like..

Once upon a time, I went to go see a singer Roberta Bradly, bperhpas the best live singer I have ever seen, it was right here in Grand Rapids, and I often wonder what she is doing.. and I am a little suuprised that I have not heard her with a numebr one song on the radio.. I got many hours of pleasure out of listening to her, and I think she could have covered this last song well..
Roberta, I miss ya, and your funky blues sound.

Time to go see if I can't download some guitar tabs..

Promotion of someone's blog chosen at random.. more or less...

Check out Keri from Oz..
Here's an excerpt..
bad muse!
here I am, inundated with edits, snowed under with contract deadlines and books that need to be finished, and what does the muse do? Throw another book idea at me, of course. One it wants to write right now, not ten months down the track. To say this is a little frustrating would be the understatement of the year, I think. :) It nagged me all day yesterday, filling my head with ideas and scene images, so much so that in the end, I stopped editing and actually wrote down all the bits and pieces, as well as the beginning few lines. This one is set in the same 'world' as Destiny, but it's about a private investigator who has 'visions' and who happens to be a phoenix. The hero is a suspended cop under investigation for his partner's death, and he has a whole herd of nasty critters after his hide. I was going to make him a sea dragon originally, but I might well make him something else. What that something else will be I'm not sure until I do some more research. But I'm thinking something a little more obscure in the fantasy ranks (in other words, not a shifter, were or vampire). Of course, I can't do anything more than jot down ideas because of all the books that need finishing first--but I guess it is always nice to know the muse hasn't been stomped down by all the edits and that she continues to work in the background.

and while we are on the subject check out the profile!
Name: Keri
I'm a born and bred Melbourne gal, and grew up sharing my life with dragons, elves, vampires, werewolves, shapeshifters and the occassional talking horse. Scary, huh? My family used to think so, too. Of course, now that I actually make a living sharing my life with the abovementioned creatures, they no longer contemplate calling the men with the little white coat...

any personal reference to men in white coats strikes a cord with me!
Go visit
Keri from Oz and give her a shout from the old DeRex.

Marcy Playground.. Sex and Candy Video..

Well this post has sex.. it has video.. all it needs now is a little Singapore adn it will get a million hits...

cool tune.. makes me think of someome, somewhere dancing in my hotel room.. and the scent of sex.. and candy.. yummy...

Cemetery Man (re-releised by Anchor Bay)

Review without giving anything away.. gonna be hard to do..
Let me say.. YEA! FUCK YEA!
Italian film..
Re-released by Anchor Bay on DVD just this last weekend..

It is a touch quirky, and carries one of those underlying meanings, that American movie goers have such a hard time with.. Yea I know, I am guilty of a nice soft serve plot line liking from time to time, so no I am not making fun of all you that think the Rambo movies were great.

I give it a 4+ on the beast scale and a 5 on the breast scale..
Sure there were only 2 breasts shown, but they were attached to a woman of astonishing beauty and we all know that two good ones are worth a gaggle of mediocre ones any day of the week.

Heaven should be filled with this gils naked body and plenty of zombies to shoot.

All total.. PUT THIS MOVIE on YOUR OWN list. Or rent it from Inteliflix like a wanker.. I don’t care.

Let me suggest you take a trip to Nix’s places ToA (Tomb of Annubis) and Evilshouldntlookthisgood (a blog where Nixie looses his mind at various speeds, to catch a few more Horror Film Reviews..

Unlimited Movies $8.25Intelliflix SuperPass 3 at a timeFree shipping & no late fees…ever!