Friday, May 05, 2006

Duke Larcosse Private Eye:The Tammy NYP Incident. Part 12.. (well it’s white so it ain’t quite 12.)

And now the Exciting Conclusion to Soft Core Porn Star and Private Eye Duke Larcosse:The Tammy NYP Incident. Part 12.. (well it’s white so it ain’t quite 12).

When last we were with out Private Dick Duke Lacrosse…
I started to tense thinking I could take him.. but what good would I be dead on the floor of this porno pit? I relaxed and decided to enjoy the show..

Edgar had worked his way behind Wednesday, and started to activate the device she was strapped to..
With her hands tied high above here head, and legs tied far apart to two portions of the “machine” she started to tilt back.. the maciene was a sort of table as well as , from as far as I could tell a sort of kinky Rack like device..

Edgar smiled bradly as Wednesday was placed in to a tightly restrained supine position..

(As a foot note: this table was quite the little contraption, with a protrusion for each limb, that could be sized to the “wearer” the table moved up and down back and forth in circles and all four extremities could be moved through full range of motion with the touch of a button.. I could not help but think, that I need to get one of these.. can you iamgine the diner conversatiosn you could have over a table like this?!?!?)

Edgar then ordered Tammy, to “eat her”.. Tammy’s mask was removed by edgar, and her face was driven into Wedensday’s sweet spot.. Tammy was quite the willing participant, and judging form Wednesday’s squirming, and little muffeled gasps through her mask, quite good. Next it was Ebony’s turn to “torture” Wednesday.. again, the squirming and muled gasps told the full story.. Ebony was afterall a Pro in the porn business, and it was not long before Wednesday was calling out loudly.. as she did edgar unzipped and removed her mask.. Wednesday’s head was right at cock lever with Edgar.. and she leaned her head to the side so as to come eye to eye, with Edgar’s one eyed monster.. He moved in to give her assess.. she bit out at it like an animal.. and only missed the tip by a matter of a fraction of an inch.. “Good girl” I thought to myself.

Just then I felt Nix’s hand dart into my jacket, he pulled my .45 for the holster and pointed it at me.. along with his own gun. “Go on Mr. Lacrosse, time to teach that bitch some manners!” I moved into camera shot..

Edgar stepped aside, to manipulate some of the buttons and switches on Wednesday’s table of torture, he pushed this and that button, her arms spread wide and the head support lowered, now Wednesday; was stretched slightly by another push of a button which brought her goodie bundle down slightly and arched her back.. she squeaked a little in either pain or joy? I could not tell which..
“Go on Lacrosse” Nix said as he shoved me roughly toward the head end of Wednesday..
There I was her head now even with my crotch.. Edgar took his riding crop and made small circles on Wednesday’s bare nipples and breasts.. she looked up at me with a look that is hard to describe, part terror, part desire.. I saw Nix motioning at me from just off camera with one of the guns.. he seemed to be telling me to remove m trousers.. I thought it best that I did.. and I did.. and no sooner had I wiggled my boxers off, than Wednesday’s mouth was on me.. she sucked me hard.. and I started to move myself in and out of her mouth.. this was the first time I had gotten head in this position, and it was wild.. her tongue lapped at the top of my stiffening cock, and I thought I could see her throat expand with each intake of my now fully erect meat..

Edgar, went to Tammy and forced her again between Wednesday’s legs.. she dove in with great enthusiasm.. Edgar delivered a few sharp whacks with the riding crop to Tammy’s exposed ass, and this only seemed to drive her more insane with desire for Wednesday’s juices.. I could see it all from my vantage point, despite the bright studio lights in my eyes.. “I wonder if that camera is catching all of this?” I thought.. Edgar then got behind Tammy and thrust his Hungness into her.. she squealed with delight, and Wednesday seemed to get more turned on my the now rhythmic crashing of Tammy’s face into her wetness as Edgar thrust his meat home.. this of course drove Wednesday onto my meat.. I leaned down and grabbed Wednesdays small firm breasts in my hands, if I was going to go out of this world today, I was going to enjoy this ride.. I saw Ebony now, she climbed up onto Wednesday, her ass propped up for Edgar to see, he dove into it face first as he drove his meat into Tammy.. it was one hell of a pile up we had here..

I am not sure who came first, Wednesday, Tammy or Ebony, but in cascading moans , screams and squeals all three women were going off.. this drove me over the edge.. seeing how I was on film , I decided to do what any good old fashioned porn actor would do.. I pulled out, and gushed great strings of stick fluid all over Wednesday.. covering her Leather outfit, her face, and breasts.. I can only assume Edgar followed suit shortly afterwards.. because soon there was just a quiet hum of relaxed satisfaction as all five of us moved slowly against each other in our previous positions.. this time it was Nix who said “Cut! That’s a wrap, thanks people!!, you were great!”

Edgar, Tammy and Ebony all stood, and in a line with Nix and the camera man, started to applaud???

“What the fuck?!?!” I sad, not understanding or knowing what else to say..
I looked down at Wednesday, she had this big sit eating grin on her face.. like she was “in on something”.
I said :”Okay what’s the skinny?” down to her..
She looked up ant me and said simply.. “Happy Birthday Duke., help me get this get up off.”

I stood dumbstruck!

Edgar, Tammy, Nix and Ebony all started untying Wednesday, I still stood dumb struck..

“It was a gag Duke! A trick. You always said you wanted to be a porn star, and now you are.” Wednesday said.
I stood dumbstruck.

“I set it up with Nix months ago. He just happened to know our three co-stars, and thought it would be a hoot, and make for a pretty good amateur porn. The rest was easy.”

“What about the Knockout drops? The gun shot at eh Theater? The kick that ass hole delivered to my melon?” I said now glaring at Edgar..
“Well, the knockout drops.. they were for real.. sorry.” Wednesday said a little sheepishly. “the gun shot was an unfortunate coincident , Singapore is a dangerous place, and well with a face like yours…” She tailed off smiling..

“And as for the kick in the head… well duke, we had to make it feel real to you or what fun would there have been.. I am sorry that you get knocked out, I was only trying to knock you down so we could tie you up.. I am really sorry about that” Edgar said coming over to shake my hand.. having seen what he had been holding a few moments earlier, and the fact that it was still out and hanging, I waived off his hand and gave him a nod and a smile instead..

“Yep, your Ms. Wednesday came to me with the whole idea, front to back. “ Nix then injected. “We should clear a few hundred thousand on the last scene alone.” He said coming over and patting me on the back and handing me my .45 back.

“I could’ a shot you” I said to him.

“Nope.” Wednesday said cheerily” I replace d all your bullets with blanks and dummies.”

“Shootin blanks.. never thought I would say that with a grin” I said..

Nix assured me that I would get a first cut copy, for my porn collection, and royalty checks as soon as the production portion was over, and we went to distribution.. Wednesday and I went back to my place.. and made love well into the night..

I never did see or hear about Tammy NYP or Edgar again, it’s too bad you suckers here on this blog won’t be so lucky..
And Wednesday and I , well we didn’t live exactly happily ever after but that’s another story for another day..

So concludes, Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: The Tammy NYP Incident.
We hope you enjoyed our little production.. and will consider buying some crap off of a few of our links to crap you can buy as a sign of appreciation.. this being Vampire month, here at RTRS we also hope you will continue to visit, for soft-core porn and other offerings throughout the month..
Good night.

and now for yoru continued pleasure.. soft core porn from Amazon.. deliverd ina plain brown wrapper???

or see if you can rent these titles and more at INteleflix.. your source for online movie / video rentals.

intelliflix online dvd rentals!

your vampire moment of the day.. Countess Dracula's Orgy of Blood

Well.. it has blood.. and orgies.. (right in the title)it can't be that bad can it?

And best of all you can rent it at Inteliflix!

intelliflix online dvd rentals!

and while we're ont eh subject of COuntess Dracula.. and gratitous sex adn violence.. yeah sex adn violence..check out these other two titles.. pleanty of Vampire/lesbian/sex video action for everybody..

'cause lets face facts, Vampires are just cooler when they are hot chicks.
DeRex Says: "You wanna suck my what?!?!"

Video of Pamela Rogers (Vidoephone) Teacher Sex Scandal

Well my little ones.. here she is, Pamela Rogers

This video was posted to a myspace account, in what looked to be a thinly veiled attempt to contact the "boy".
Well as a "boy" myself, I would have to say that it would have grabbed my attention...

Here's the news clip..

Yes, as one commentor on youtube said..
"If I were the 13 y/o boy, I would kill the bastard that turned in my slut!"

I mean come on.. who wouldn;t wat this in an email from teach...

Are you the teaches pet if YOU pet the teacher?

Be sure to stay tuned in to for all the news that matters..

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Lesbian Vampire Sex.. how can you go wrong?

Here's a little video for you perverts and freaks. (just like me)

Vampyos Lesbos

Even if you are not interested in buying it from amazon, you really should click the link to go read the reviews.. even Nix says it's a classic.. and nix knows classic horror like only a sick freak like him could.

Now if I can just get of Nixsclips to review it on ToA I will have one more thing to promote this month.. (May is Vampire month you know)

How can you not like Lesbian Sex and Vampires all rolled up into one NR film?
I ain;t saying it's porn, but rather a classic adn historic feature film.. (this way you can justify watching it, to your less cizilized adn more puritanical friends , spouse, etc.)
So do not delay.. go buy or rent Vampyros Lesbos today.. and post your own revire in our comments section.. if it is the best you will win a big fat box of nothing, and perhpas an honerable mention amongst this and other sick freaks blogs.. yea sick freaks.. and rich weirdos.
Where can you rent classics like this online???

intelliflix online dvd rentals!

go ahead click it.. you know you want to..

Your Sexy Vampire Picture of the day

Keeping with the sexy vampire theme that May is.. I bring you the following picture..

Also as a special note of intrest to Nix, I give you the following link.
Midnight Video

There you will find "Your #1 PROFESSIONAL source for UNCUT and OBSCURE Import Horror,
Gore and Exploitation films on Video and DVD. Serving the dedicated and
serious collector for over 18 years. UNCUT: Lucio Fulci, Dario Argento,
Mario Bava, Jess Franco, Paul Naschy, Joe D'Amato, Amando DeOssorio,
Michele Soavi and more! Italian, Spanish and many other European and Indonesian Horror, Gore, Giallo, Cult and Exploitation films on Video."

The whole sight could be shit, but there are some pretty interesting nude screen shots and some info on obscure (and sexy) horror films that only a freak like Nix would have in his twisted little skull.

ANd yes you may now bow down to me, fo rmy 100% accurate American Idol Prediction!
I liked Paris, but she had to go.. next week.. Elliot hits the road.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Duke Lacrosse: The Tammy NYP Incident, part 11.. 11 inches of Edgar.

(photo thanks to Wikipedia)
When last we left Poor Duke Lacrosse Private Eye, he was in Nix's Porn Studio.. called Nix-e-Clips and it is here we pick up our story.

That’s when we made it to the last set.. the red light over the door indicated that “filming” was underway.. slowly Nix turned the handle, and slowly my eyes grew accustom to the bright lights, and focused on……
... focused on the scene within, it was a dame, with the shape of Wednesday, she was tied up in some sort of contraption and all covered in what looked liked paten leather.

All but the good parts that is.. I recognized her pert breasts from across the room.. I would never forget those nipples that had knocked me out.. and could put an eye out when temperature dropped below 40 degrees.
Then my eyes came to rest on the other two "slaves" both women judging from the breasts that lay exposed from there matching paten leather outfits.. all had masks, but judging from the small light breasts and large, too large darker skinned breasts I guessed these slaves to be Tammy and Ebony. And there in the middle of it all was Edgar! That son-of-a-bitch.. after that whack in the skull he gave me in part 8 (was it 8 see knocked me senseless) I had a bone to pick with him.. and it wasn't anything like that bone he had sticking out of his patent leather drawers..

I saw Red..

Nix put a restraining hand on my shoulder, and before I had a chance to knock the shit outta him he said "Wait Mr. Lacrosse.. you will want to see this.."

Tammy and Ebony were on there hands and knees, Edgar stood above them, a riding crop in his hand.. he smacked Tammy and then ebony hard on their tightly wrapped asses, each girl let out a little yip of pain when the blow was delivered.. then he reached down and firmly grabbed a handle on the top of Tammy's gag/mask.. he unzipped the mouth.. and puller her roughly onto his hard cock.. she sucked like a good little slave should.. then as roughly he pulled her away, and zipped her back up.. it was Ebony's turn now, and the same treatment was given to her.. a rough pulling of her masked head onto his long hard cock.. several hard fucks to her face.. so hard I think I heard the "pro" gag at one point, then as roughly he pushed her away and re-zipped the mask..

He then turned his attentions to Wednesday.. she was tied with her hands above her head.. masked and helpless.. he walked behind her, and I hear a "snap" of the riding crop as it dropped down hard on her exposed ass.. she jumped at the sting, but made not a sound..
I wanted to go to her, to save her, but then I felt the barrel of the heater Nix had pulled on me poke into my ribs..
"There there, Mr. Lacrosse, let's not do anything foolish..." He said just as cool as an ice cube slid across one of Wednesday's nipples on a hot summer's day..
I started to tense thinking I could take him.. but what good would I be dead on the floor of this porno pit? I relaxed and decided to enjoy the show..
and so end this portion of the continuing conclusion of Duke Lacrosse, The Tammy NYP Incident. Tune in tomorrow for more exciting conclusion.. muhahahha..

American Idol Notes: (from a reluctant viewer) Prediction and Katherine McPhees Boobs

Prediction: Tonight Paris Goes Home.
and a video I like to call Ode To Kat McPhee (and her boobs)

Katherine, please have my children..

Katherine McPhee of American Idol.. please have my babies?!?!

Weekly notes just stuff I notice about this blog and those who visit here..

You people are sick.. and I like you that way.
American Idol has been on everybody’s minds lately.. but more importantly re Katherine McPhee’s boobs. (Tits, knockers, mommy pillows, juggs, jublies, taters, nerples, nippies, nipples, nips, nippers, areeolas)
Why do I know this, well besides being a male, and knowing what I am thinking while watching Kat McPhee wiggle around in a too tight yellow dress, or crawl around on the floor in a low topped number like he did this week.. ) I know because that is the terms that get people to this blog!

Yes, friends sex sells, video of sex really sells, and wardrobe malfunctions are priceless! How many of us praised the wind gods the night we got that nanosecond up skirt shot of Katherine? I mean come on, if that was not the most tivoed moment in American Idol history I don’t know what was!

Katherine McPhee is a sexy beast, our little informal poll bears that out, nearly 100% of participants said that she as P.H.A.T. (Pretty, hot and Tempting) And I have to say that I agree.. she is a small bit wide in the hips, but that’s nice.. you know naked she looks like a Greek Goddess!

IN watching this season of American Idol front to back, I would say it look slike Katherine McPhee has lost a little weight, and there towards the end, it was looking like my Favorite to sit longest with the girls Kellie Pickler was gaining weight.. musta’ been too much Calamari.

Anyway, I am having a ton of fun reading AI blogs looking for that glimpse up Kat’s Dress.. yes if you squint and TVIO you can see a small piece of yellow panty! YES!!! (Why do I feel so dirty.. NOT!)
Anyway, I hope everybody voted for Kat, cause I ain’t done lookin at her.
To see the Kat McPhee Upskirt look on fliker and once again thanks to youtube, I bring you Katherine McPhee and the Yellow Dress (Wardrobe Malfunction Night)

Kat you rule.

and because sex sells.. I bring you the following selection..

no I don;t think that's a wardrobe malfunction!

anyone see this yet? Napster has a new business modle.. and is free?

Napster Free Trial

Napster announced that it has a new business modle, a new website adn according to the advertizing from them is now FREE.

It has been a while since we have heard anything from or about Napster. I loved the initial concept, adn felt bad for them when those wimps int eh music industry went after them. I agree with their argument, that people have been sharing music for as long as there have been portable recording devices.

And it is not like the chase after napster slowed for even a second the file sharing, music swapping, adn copyright infringment that they were trying to stop.. I don;t think I know a person that does not download misic and video for free or at least own a piece fo downloaded and often bootlegged video or music.. it is just tiem that the music and film industry got in tune with the times.. people will always buy their product, and people will always try to cheat.. that is just the truth in life.. to think anything else is to denigh reality.
At any rate, go check out the new napster!

click the little pic already!

Gratutious Sex adn Violence plenty to go around too.

Hello kiddies.. yes it is Vampire Month in the bloggosphere.. and so the first thing Nix does at Tomb of Anubis is review Within The Woods.. not a fucking vampire in sight.. in fact it was not even a movie, it was a 30 minute promo to generate money for the making of Evil Dead. (A killer fun flick by the way, but still not a fucking vampire to be seen for miles!)

So nix you evil dead obsessed person you, how about a vampire flick.. last month it was National Poetry Month and you managed to come up with something, this should be easy for you.

And just because I love you all, here is your overtly sexual vampire picture of the day..

I am still hoping to kill off somebody in the Duke Lacrosse: The Tammy NYP Incident story sometime this week, but so far it looks like the only thing getting killed in that story is the humor.. how many jokes can you make about an underage girl from Singapore who’s goodies have circled the world a few million times via camera phone porn download? (Okay, you don’t have to answer that).

Duke is going to face his strangest and perhaps sexiest challenge to date with this months story.. Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: You wanna suck my what? (A working title) where vampire wenches and Duke go at each other with oral attacks and plenty of sucking for everyone involved.

So be sure to keep tuning in for the exciting and well overdue conclusion of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: The Tammy NYP Incident and the Exciting beginning of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: You wanna Suck My What? Coming soon..
In the mean time you may get your gratuitous sex and violence from Tomb of Anubis, be sure to tell Nix to suck a fat one, and give us some vampire shit this week… biotch!
Rent (online) many of the movies featured on ToA at...

intelliflix online dvd rentals!

American Idol, the day after, a few random thoughts and spellings.. and oh yes there will be Katherine McPhee too..

Okay, what good old fasioned American Male did not want to get on the floor with Kat McPhee last night?
And did you see the looks on the guys playing the box drum when Brian Seacrest askd "What instrument is that?".. you know one of them wnated to say "the xylephone.. you idiot."

Another thing worth noting.. did you notice that in the "on the floor" song, the camera operators kept the shot above the bottom of Kat's plunging neckline? I get the feeling, that the producers may have said, "okay one nipple slip goes out on the air, and your fired." Come on American Idol, 3.5 million viewers tuned in to see a nipple slip.. the least you could have done is tease us a bit with Katherine's Boobs!

As far as the performances went, it seemd a real mixed bag.. I have to agree again with Simon.. it was an erratic show.. Chris, my favorite's voice did start to fail in his second song.. but with that voice who's wouldn't after a day of pratice? Chris advice.. dude, keep a little somthing in reserve.. pratice hard the day before, but gently the day of.

Paris, well, I think Paris will go home..
I know I have been trying to send Elliot home for weeks, but he was stronger than Paris last night.. he still bores the hell outta me, but paris was not so good..

And "The gray haired dude" Taylor Hicks.. I thought was fun to watch.. I want him adround for at least another round.
VFTW has selected him as their favorite.. which is the kiss of death.. but with luck it will not be for another week or so.

Kat, this is what that sone (Against all odds) is supposed to sound like.. sorry love, but you mucked it up big time.

Video thanks to youtube.
It's one of my favorite songs.. it is one of those that carries a "special meaning" in my life... so I guess I would be criticle.. but I still love ya.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

A few random thoughts on The Singapore Elections, MySpace, and other random things..

(Image served by
A few random thoughts on The Singapore Elections, MySpace, and other random things..

Here is perhaps the best post on the Singapore elections I could find.

“ELECTIONS will be held in Singapore on Saturday. There's no doubt that the ruling People's Action Party will win. It always does. So do the elections matter to business, or indeed to anyone?These elections are different. They are attracting more adverse international media attention than usual.And in an age when business can no longer proceed in a vacuum but must consider the full context of its operating environment, the degree to which the Singapore elections are free and fair does matter.The elections were announced on April 23. Nominations for seats closed only last Thursday. That means candidates will have had just nine days to explain their policies and to campaign. It's little wonder the opposition holds only two seats in the 84-seat parliament.Short election campaigns favor the incumbents as they are already known to voters. They also limit the time frame for damaging headlines in the international media…”

Just when you think we are screwed up here by vote counting issues, bad Diebold voting machines and corrupt government, you get to take a look at something like Singapore’s electoral process.. I will now think about any Singapore native that has the stones to bitch about our corrupt system in a whole new light… one of pity and a slight western superiority (jk kinda)

MySpace: What can one say about myspace, it is a pretty neat little place to make your very own personal web-space, without all that messy HTML and stuff.. problem, is that it keep showing up on technorati.. in many cases by default. Perhaps the minds at technorati need to make myspace one of the terms that no longer show up on the top searches.. there are a list of other terms which have been filtered out. I will save you the trouble of reading them as I have been able to collect them, but let me say that many of them are the top keywords for people coming here.
I am still of the opinion that Technorati needs to have a filtered list and a non filtered list. Then when someone like me comes along, that wants to write about what is really on people’s minds, (and no I am not just talking about spamming and keyword-stacking here) we would be able to see what’s really going on out there in the global world, as opposed to the world as some censor or group of censors thinks we want to see it. I believe that to protect children form inappropriate content is noble, but censorship in almost any form is just plain wrong. Technorati, please provide the list you think is useful , as you do now, and the raw data for the rest of us.. please????

Then on a final note for this posting.. May is still Vampire Month..
Plans for May include:
A Duke Lacrosse Private Eye story involving Vampires, and lots of hot steamy sex.
Things I can gleen from the web , photos, art and stories involving Vampires and Vampire like themes.
Readers submissions, Readers, if you have a vampire story or even poem, submit it as a comment, I read them all , and if it is of any quality I will post it and do my best to promote it to the world.
Photo and Art submission should be emailed to me, see my profile for email address.
Also if you have a favorite Vampire website, post it in the comments, I may just do a review of it too.. along with give it a plug and a link from here.
Keep your emails, comments, and blood flowing, this month is going to be a hell of a ride.

Vampire stuff:

Vampire Movie Review.. Underworld Part II

For those of you still unfamiliure with my site, adn my reviews.. here's how it goes.. I usually do them in under 4 minutes.. and I rarely if ever use spell sheck.. seeing how I have to type with my feet (it's a flipper thing) I will warn you, what you are about to see, may not be pretty...
Movie Review : Underworld II.

May is Vampire Month here at RTRS and what better way to kick it off than with a moview review..

Last night I watched Underworld II..
and seeing how I only have given myself 4 minutes to type this.. I will make it brief.
Sexy as hell.. lady vampires always are..
Vampires vs. Wearwolves.. cool.
Vampires and Wearwolves from same family, one brother goes to find other brother, chaos , gore and sexy as fuck shots of lady vampire ensue.
If you have not seen Underworld II (Evolution) you may have a hard time folowing the names though the sttory line.. if your spouse talks their fucking ass off through the movie you may have a hard time folloing the names though the story line.. but the gothic/sexy shots and gore more than make up for that.
I give this movie 3 out-a 5 steaks through the heart.
Check them out.. rent at inteliflix

intelliflix online dvd rentals!

or buy at amazon.

Pax.. or not.

Duke Lacrosse Private Eye, Part Ten, You DOn;t Have to be a 10 or even have 10.. but it don't hurt.

Everyone knew Nix.. he was the writer producer of all of those 30 second porn clips that were so popular on the web nowadays. He had written all the best known porn lines.. "Hit dat shit", "thow it in my azz", "I didn't know you had a twin sister" and of course perhaps most famously "Who's yo daddy", yes he had written them all.. most resently he had come onto the scene with a series of movie reviews on a website called Tomb of Anubis, where he had mixed his writing abilities (Hit dat shit = magic in my book) with his sense for good gore and overt sexual content.

In fact if you go right now to Tomb of Anubis, you can view his latest and greatest review piece.. (Nix that'll cost you a fiver)

His office was only six blocks away, so I decided to walk it this time (where is my fucking car?)
The big red sign in front read Nix-e-Clips and it confirmed my thoughts, it was his card I had seen in the Tammy NYP Video Download.

The front door was open so I invited myself in.. it was too early for the receptionist to be in, but I figured his office was the one upstairs. (Seeing how there was a sign that said Mr. Nix and an arrow that pointed up at the bottom of the staircase wall... I may be a private dick but I ain’t no Sherlock Holmes.) So up I went, the creaky steps I was sure would give me away, so I pulled my heater out, and proceeded without caution.. why be cautious when they know your coming I always said..
At the top of the stairs was a small poorly lit landing, and only one door, a great oak door, with a gold placard on it that simply read.. “Nix.”

I busted in.. throwing my shoulder into the door three times, before finally checking the knob.. it was not locked.. I felt like a heal, and my shoulder felt like squirrel under a tire on the highway…

Nix sat calmly at his desk.. despite my rather large and obviously angry bulk in his undamaged but thoroughly ran into door frame.. even the sight of my gun did not seem to shake him up..
“This is one cool cucumber Duke” I thought to myself.

“So where is she” I demanded “ Where’s the girl?” I sad sounding more shook up that I had wanted to..

“Come in, relax Mr. Lacrosse” he said cool as can be. He gestured towards a chair next to the desk. “Come have some coffee, and I will help you find, Tammy, or is it your girlfriend Ms. Wednesday that you are desiring? Come Mr. Lacross, there’s no need to be unfriendly” he grinned at me..
I wanted to smack that shit eating grin full off of his face, but he seemed willing enough to talk for now, and I had to wonder how he knew who I was looking for.. hell I wasn’t even sure if I still cared where that Tammy slut was, I was just concerned about Wednesday.. So I sat.

Then Nix, got up moved across the office, I kept my gun pointed full at him, and went to a coffee service set up on a table not too far from his desk. “Coffee Mr. Lacrosse?” he said that still to charming grin on his face..
“Yeah, sure, sweet and light.” I sad flatly.
“Just like your women.” He said , and that some-bitch had the gall to chortle a little at that.

He made coffee for both of us, and brought me mine, he looked down at my heater once, with a look of distain, and said’ You’ll find no need for that kind of gun here, Mr. Lacrosse, but if you feel better with it out.. so be it”.

Having not told a sex story of joke this whole part yet, I was anxious to get to business..
“So where’s Wednesday.” I demanded.
“She’s here , and waiting for you.” He said, moving to the large set of windows behind his desk. “Come Mr. Lacrosse, come see if you can find her.”

I went to the windows and stood beside my strange host. It was like I had seen in manufacturing plants, he had a full set of windows looking out over a “production floor”, only here, it wasn’t farm equipment they were producing, it was porn. There must have been 80 or 90 small sets, all with some sort of perverted action going on in front of a camera in them! No there was no farm equipment here, but there were some farm animals!!!

“That’s quite the operation you have going on here.” I said in amazement.. “How does she get her legs to do that” I then said pointing..
“Come Mr. Lacrosse, let me show you around”. Nix said now showing some interest.

We went out a door in the back of the office and down a flight of steps onto the “production floor” here Nix showed me the entire operation.. I committed all of it to memory thinking how much this was going to save me in porn rentals next month.. and of course looking for Wednesday in the fray.. at this point I would have settled for any sign of Wednesday, Tammy , Edgar, or Ebony, but after looking at the remake of Debbie Does Bangkok IV and The Farmer, his Daughter, and the Three Little Pigs, and Twins Part 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and The Kama Sutra, Ancient ways to Tie your Dick in Knots. (This one was an actual educational piece) I still felt no closer to finding anyone of the other players in this twisted tale.. but I was amazed at the scope of his operation..
"How many movies do you make here?" I had to ask.
"We make about 12,000 movies a year and closer to a million 30 second teaser clips" he said with a look of self love.
"I have seen some of your work" I said enthusiasticly
"Nearly every Male on the planet has seen and spanked to our work here." He said a real grin of self satisfaction across his face" We bring joy to million each year. Just look at what our little Tammy NYP shoot did.. it got a whole segment of the population talking about us."

My head was spinning, imagine all the wonderously naughty things that were happening all aound me.. (I would describe some of them here, but I decided I woudl let your fill in the blanks this time around) It took me a full minute to comprehend, the gravity of his last statement, "the Tammy NYP vido.. was done HERE?!?!? " I thought aloud.

"That's right Mr. Lacrosse. When it comes to internet porn these days, all roads lead here. This is why I was not suprised to see you." he said again too cooly for my liking.

That’s when we made it to the last set.. the red light over the door indicated that “filming” was underway.. slowly Nix turned the handle, and slowly me eyes grew accustom to the bright lights, and focused on……

So concludes this episode of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye.. The Tammy NYP Incident.
Tune in tomorrow of the next day, or maybe the day after that for the continuing conclusion of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye..

Here's soem erotica for you, in case you missed it in this episode..
book links provided by cause amazon don't just mean a tall woman in leather any more.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Vampires Sex and Video

Keeping with this months theme, I bring you this sexy adn seductive selection..

From youtube.

100% Tammy NYP Free for your protection and comfort.

Attention Tourists! Mal knows Paris.. read this or weep like little children later..

(Photo courtesy
""Tipping: Not usual in restaurants as they often slug you 15 per cent service charge. Small change is fine."

Tipping not usual in restaurants!!!Bulltwang. That's a surefire way of getting the famous Gallic snarl of disdain. YOU MUST tip. Even if it's just a few Euro. Tipping is a way of life here. Like the States, service people are on minimum wage and they rely on tips to boost their earnings. Tip the cabbie. Tip the barman. Tip the waiter. Tip the guy that holds the door of the post-office open if you want to. Always carry some shrapnel in your pocket. You'll see lots of beggars in the street here, too. The Parisians tolerate them and give them a few cents (like 10 or 20 cent coins). It's not gonna kill you to sling a few coins their way. "There but for the Grace of God go I" and all that."

Perhpas the most brilliant thing I have ever heard about travel in Paris.. or anyfucking place in Europe.. My fellow Americans, go here.. and read every word Mal has written on the Paris subject..
Then go smack the travel agent that booked you on your trip to Paris this August..

Duke Lacrosse Private Eye : The Tammy NYP Incident.. Part Nix, The Beginning of the End.

Duke Lacrosse Private Eye : The Tammy NYP Incident.. Part Nix, The Beginning of the End.

SO after sucking down my Scotch and trying to figure out exactly what had just happened.. I went back to my office.
Wednesday’s chair sat there empty at the desk she normally sat at during the day, it seemed strangely empty here in my office without her.
I had to get my thoughts together, I had to figure out what was really going on.. I had to.. well I had to pee really bad.. so first things first, I went down he hall to the lav. , and drained the lizard.

As I said earlier, I do most of my best thinking in the lavatory, and today was no exception.

(Image courtosy )

It all came to me a great burst of inspiration. Tammy and Edgar and Ebony were all in on something that I was not. Now they had somehow drawn poor, sweet, innocent Wednesday into their deviant plan.. (okay maybe she wasn’t innocent, but damn it, it’s still my story). How was I going to find Edgar and Tammy and Ebony in this huge city? How was I going to get to the bottom of this?
Why not start at the beginning, back where Tammy and Edgar were first introduced to the world.. youtube and he world wide web! ?
So back to my office I sprinted.. a funny sight really, but that’s another story.

Past Wednesday’s empty desk and through the door to my office.. I fired up my trusty desktop and within a few moments was surfing.. surfing for the infamous Tammy NYP Sex Video Download.. no longer available at youtube, but available at several hundred places of lesser repute. I watched it, again and again, each scene, looking for the one clue.. that one clue that would bring insight to my semi pickled , hadn’t had enough scotch or coffee, what time is it anyway, mind.
Edgar, sure does pack some meat, for a skinny Asian kid, and Tammy, well that wasn’t the first time she has had one of those in her mouth.. I kept going over and over the part where Edgar sat the video phone down on it’s side to film them.. got a crick in my neck that is going to need physical therapy as a result.. then I saw it! I saw the one thing, that they hadn’t counted on me seeing.. I saw the business card.. that one little business card with it’s red logo.. it was only there for a split second, but due to a quick right click, I paused the action, and after zooming in on the action, I zoomed in on the card.. yep, just as I suspected… the card said … it all.

I was out of my office again, in a flash.. and down to the street I ran.. I tried to hail a cab, not knowing exactly where my ’39 was.. when I came to another realization.. it was late, late, late at night.
There was no way I could find Nix this late at night, I was sure somehow he was all curled up in his bed with visions of psychopathy dancing in his head.

So I did what any good old fashioned American man would do.. I went down to the local All Nude Review Strip club to toss down some suds, tell a few lies to the girls and think about how smart I am for finally figuring all of this out.

So concludes, the first part of the conclusion of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: The Tammy NYP Incident..
Be sure to tune in tomorrow for the continuation of the conclusion of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye.. Part Tex.. Tex.. who put This T in My Sex?

Speaking of Deviant Sex.. check out these selections.. from

Note the last oen is Sex by Madonna.. you can;t get much more deviant that Madonna can you?

Good Morning, sweet kind and gentle perverts.. May is Vampire Month!

Image coutosy
DOn;t worry, I will get back to the Adventures of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye soon enough.. part Nine is coming and you have to wonder who will be cuming in part nine now don;t you.

I have been waging a mental debate with myself.. should I introduce this month's theme (Vampires) to the Duke Lacrosse story? ANd the answer is no.. Duke needs to stand alone, in the halls of goofy cyber humor-erotica without the introduction of another "gimik" so no there will be no vampires in the Duke Lacross : The Tammy NYP INcident story.. however, that is not to say that there will not be another story another Duke Lacross Story which introduces a vampire like theme.. sure this one has a lot of sucking.. and some people have said that hte whole story sucks.. but Vampires will have to wait to meet Duke Lacrosse Private Eye, at least for now.

If ther eis a person left that does not have their own blog. I invite you to submit your very own Vampire stories here.. if you do have a blog with a vampire theme.. I will be searching fo ryou this month and posting your link here.. if you write well or even type better than I do.. I may include an excerpt from your blog.. (in case you have not noticed.. a random sampling from the infinite monkeys , you know the ones that typed mac beth, woudl yield a better typing sample than 90% of this blog!)

So my Dark and Gothic brothers and sisters.. hit me with your best shot..
Now I will shamlessly promote some stuff for you to buy.. because when you buy from Random Thoughts Random Spellings.. you are supporting a seal on a mission.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Good bye April: Notes on American Idol, Kat McPhee and National Poetry Month.

Well, I want to start by saying good bye to April, my birth month. And the late snow showers that go with it here in these parts..
Dear April.. go eat a fat one.
Okay now onto business..
Kat McPhee..
We took a poll, Kat McPhee Fat or PHAT.
and the results re in.
9 out of 10 annonmous retards belive she his P.H.A.T.
(Pretty, Hot and Tempting.
The other one just is a retard.

It is not too late to vote in our Kat (Katherine, Katharine, Kathirine) McPhee Poll.. just go to the home page of this blog and scroll down.. (if you are already on the homepage just ninny)

Here is some American Idol items for you to buy.. because I get a few pennies when you do and you know you are an AI addict.
Titles from Kelly Clarkston, Bo Bice, and Clay Aiken

and last but not least.. National Poetry Month..
Yes, this is the end (thank god)
I ran out of good material about the 15th.. I found one good erotic poetry authos durring the quest.. so all is not lost.. just most of it is lost..
If you enjoy Erotic, and Semi-erotic poetry here are your selections.

And now announcing May's theme!
Vampires.. yes friends and neighbors, in between Duke Lacross postings.. (The exciting conclusion is just around the bend) we will be posting vampire stuff, stories, erotica, photos, and the like.. if you love the dark side, or just want to be loved by the dark side, be sure not to miss a day in May!

Here is a little Anne Rice to warm you up to the idea.. (I love Anne)

and of course to keep Nix and all you vampire movie enthusiasts happy.. I giveyou these fine selections.

Yes, I know that Interview with the Vampire has Tom Cruise (The Anti-christ) but WTF, if you hate him like I do.. you will just ignore the link.. if however you like that sick little midget.. at least this way I can benifit from his ability to act.