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Friday, March 31, 2006

This emo moment brought to you by the leter "q"

for all my more emo friends.. yes mal this means you!

I wonder if they have Emos in singapore?


The Techno Tags of the moment.. defined.


Yesterday we ran a post defining the top ten searches at technorati for those of us that are just too lazy to actually click the damn things.. the first three were an honest attempt to define what’s hot.. but it got boring, so I just made up the rest.. today we will skip the honest representation and get straight to the made up crap.
Today’s tags are.
Immigration
That thing that we keep hearing about.. political BS for the most part. It is what made this country great and will be what keeps it great.. but as long as the sides can toss F bombs at each other over it, it will always be entertaining.
There should be a sign at every airport that reads, “Welcome to America, if you can’t speak the language stay the hell out.” (It should be written in Lakota Sioux)



Microsoft
That Crazy company that keeps us hooked with their illicit substances.. aka software. I want to know how they are so profitable? They have not released a new product in how many years? (OS that is) . I think that Bill Gates has had us all hypnotized, to send money to him in the middle of the night while we sleep. SO the next time you can’t find that fiver you knew you left in your pants pocket remember.. Microsoft has it.

Bush
Um uh? What can I say that has not already been said? (oH I Know) He’s a real smart guy. I don’t think anyone has ever said that.

web2.0
FUCKING GREAT! Just what I need another web.. I have not seen half the porn on the first web.. and now I have a whole nother one to look through.. I may never have “seen them all”. My mother once said, once you have seen one, you have seen them all.. my mom apparently never looked at more than one. Thenks to the internet, I have now seen thousands of them, and I can say that they are all unique. I will continue mey quest, to find two that are just alike , until then.. as the song says.. “the internet is for porn!”

Sex
Now here is a subject I can get into .. well not literally.. try as a fucking may.. no matter how I try, you just can’t get any action as a seal boy. Little wonder though that this is a top tag.. who isn’t interested in sex? Who does not want to look at sex (for purely educational purposes) ? Hey I like sex.. just because I don’t; have any does not mean I don’t. I don’t have a lot of money, and I like it just fine.. so why can’t a seal boy like sex HUH?

thursday thirteen
A cute little blog thing where you are supposed to make a list of thirteen (whatevers) so everyone can see what you are thinking.
Well here is my little list.
1.Sex
2.Boobs
3.More boobs
4. Nice butts
5. Bikini Waxing
6. Handcuffs
7.whips
8. chains
9. dildos
10. lubricant
11.did I mention boobs?
12. edible underwear
13. Alcohol

What is my list? Answer: Name thirteen things that you state senator thought about today when he / she should have been working on getting the country out of the fucking hole they helped put us in.

iPod
Yea, yea, yea.. remember what I sad before.. when I was a kid we had a portable music device too.. it was called a cassette player.. get the fuck over it already. Tammy NYP has a lot more entertainment value than any ipod (unless you have the Tammy NYP download on your iPod that is)

web 2.0
Why is this ion the list twice? Oh 2.0 I get it.. funny fuckers. Wait until web 10.0 comes out.. then the list will just read web 10.0 , web 10.0, web10.0 etc etc..


Andy there it is.. the top tags at tecnorati.. some may call this spam, I call it art..
I once made a dragon head out of a lump of spam, so don’t tell me spam can’t be art..
I once hear a rumor that Art Garfunkle was actually carved out of spam.. and from the smell.. I can say that is one rumor that might be true.


So leave me a comment telling me how fucking cool I am.. and how you have comment bombed the real spammers out there, who just add the list of the top ten to every post, or worse post only the list hoping that you will go visit them.. them fuckers!

TO by Boys Nix and Mal.. sup biotches?
To all of you who were actually looking for some substance, try www.welcometowallywolrd.com or www.tombofanubis.com
For those who may be offended by my ever continuing references to tammy nyp.. I say. Please go do something outrageous! I need a new topic as much as you want me to have one.. so go video yourself having sex with a penguin or something, and let me spread the video all over the web.. I would even post it to youtube for you..

Peace, that’s the world today March 31st 2006. We will now continue with your regularly scheduled program.










Thursday, March 30, 2006

Defining the top ten at technorati..

Writing late.. after I proof red this thing. damn I need to stay off of the percription caugh medicin for a day or two.. wanted one proof reader, must were short skirts adn no panties.. must have big boobs adn know how to desipher this scrawl I call typing.. fuck me! (oky you don;t have to actyually fuck me.. I was only using that as an expression of frustration.. if you typed like me you would be frustrated too.. but you have hands and arms and fingers.. I got flippers.. so first one of you fucks to make fun gets a trout upside the head)

Defining the top ten at technorati..
I know that there have been times when I said “WTF is that” when I looked at the top search list on technospamlotti.

So here is my little attempt to make sense of figuring out what in the fuck others are thinking about a little easier on you, my beloved readers.. (except the schmucks.. I love you all.. one at a time.. with baby oil.. but that is another story)

Here’s the top searched things and my definitions.. (note some definitions may be 100% inaccurate.. but so are half the fucking posts about them so , hey you get what you pay for .. ‘ight?
1. “American Idol”: We all know and love that sappy show. If you don’t know what AI is by now.. you should probably go back into that cave you just climbed out of.. Tell Osama I said "Hi".

2. Transparency International.. see earlier article.. but lets just say that they are a German based group of wankers.. see below.. if you are on the front page.. for those who can only see this post.. do a search..

3. Flyerpilot : again.. German Wankers. See here http://larko.wordpress.com/2006/03/30/flyerpilot-prospects-for-settlement/ for better info.. but company vs. blogger.. yadda yada yada.. I can’t wait to be sued.. go ahead.. what are you gonna take one of my flippers.. fucking people always picking on the seal boy.. (but I digress)

4. “Jill Carroll”: Christian Science Monitor Report.. once captive now free.. , yes it is real news.. boring.. lets move on shall we?

5. Cpe: Some French shit.. I think we need Wally for this one.. http://www.welcomtowallyworld.com/ Hey Mal help a brother.. you read french don't you?

6. “Cynthia Mckinney”: (okay I am getting bored with trying to fact find.. so I am just going to make the rest of the definitions up.. okay?) Cynthia McKinney, a girl I went to grade school with, when we were 12 I told her I loved her and wanted her to have my babies.. she laughed at me.. and now I am a 42 year old homosexual priest because of it.. thanks a lot you whore!

7. “Mary Winkler”: Hernry Winklers mom.. you know Fonzie? Has recently written a book.. “Being mother to the Fonz my Personal Hell Ahhhhhhh!”

8. Kaloogian: Yet another variation of Google.. this one is a combination of Yahooligans and Googles Knoodle.. so you can surf for porn but only get naked pictures or Barney the Dinosaur.
9. Lost: where this whole joke is going..

10. Transparency: Really related to the number one.. but rather than go down that boring road.. I will say.. it is the latest in spring fashion.. everyone in Paris and Rome are already wearing transparent clothes. In fact the entire Tammy NYP video really was of two fully clothed people.. only their clothes were of the new and exciting line ‘Transparency” only the stupid people can’t see them.
~~ Definition number two “Transparency” when one or both parents dress like a member of the opposite sex. (See Rocky Horror)

11. “South Park”: Yes, in deedy.. Chief.. after he sucked my salty chocolate balls (again see below) was torn to pieces by wild animals and made into Darth Chef.. I can’t wait for the sequel.. unless it is directed by that idiot that remade starwars.. what the fuck was his name again.. you know the famous one?? Oh yea Douchbag!

12. Strumpette : A stringed trumpet.. you strum your trumpet.. ie strumpette. Also a new term for jerking off, formerly “strumming the trumpet”.. now strumreting!

13. “Charlie Sheen”: The latest Sheen to get into the news.. for saying some smack shit about Bush.. hell I sat smack shit about the Imperial Leader damn near every day.. you don’t see my fucking name as a top techno search do you?? MUTHAFUCKER!

14. Ipod : BORING! Come on people we had music players when I was a kid.. they were called cassette decks.. get the fuck over it already!

15. Myspace: Yes, my space, your space.. the place where teenaged angst meets online perverts.. I have a myspace account.. and it sucks.. I would rather type my smack shit here.. and call it MySpace-where-my-nut-sack-hangs-out-for-you-to-suck.com

And that’s all thank god.. here I thought I could do some funny stuff with the “most” list. But really they are mostly boring topics.. we all need a good run of Tammy NYP to brighten our days.

Oh the tags are perhpas more interesting, so maybe if you are lucky I will spam you tomarrow with definitians of the technospamaloti tags..
(enter vikings.. singing "Spam spam spam spam, spam spam spam spam spammity spam wonderful Spam!")

thanks youtube

Mummy, my Spam smells like Kelly Pickler...

American Idol? Tammy NYP? Video Phone Sex Tapes? Download a song or a movie?Hell now.. I just wanted to get your attention.
Hey , I did this weird little auction.. (readers will know this.. so no I am not trying to bore you.. this is for the nubies)


Anyway, I ran a silly little auction for a “Bottle Cap Tripod” to kind of poke fun at Technorati and the strange terms that come up in the #1 spot.. This is a clip from the person who bought my silly little bottle cap tripod..Go check her store out and for fuck’s sake bid on something or buy something.. until you do I will continue to spam my way to the top.. so for the sake of your fellow looki-loos.. go but something already!


Here is my ebay store:http://stores.ebay.com/Little-Bamas-Treasures

I enjoy buying and sell. I’m a mother who wanted to stay home and enjoys shopping for things.

I enjoy selling. I started selling on Ebay to make some room in my house, and it’s easier then having yard sales. I want everyone to be 100% satisfied with doing business with me.

I really enjoy selling on ebay, and have met a lot of great people threw emails.

I started selling for some friends of mine to help keep my inventory up, and help them make some extra money too. I want to Thank you for visiting my site. Keep checking back because new item will go up every couple of days.

NOW READ THIS!!!

If you tell her, that you came from this page.. and you buy somthing.. she will do somthing EXTRA SPECIAL for you.. now I am not goiing to tell you what she said.. I will letyou use your imagination.. but beleve me , it is one hell of a lot better than a sharp stick in the eye.. well unless your into that sort of thing.. in which case it is a lot like a sharp stick in the eye..

So mention Delorumrex.. and get an extra special treatment.. that sounds like an auction with a happy ending to me!!

Yo MAL Suck this Youtube moment in history!

Here I am with Pimp 'dis Blog..
BIOTCH!

I thnk that may be the coolest fucking thing since American Idol star Lisa McPhee showed he boobs live.. (oh wait that never happend.. so that makes this the coolest them ever)


What ever happend to the good movies on youtube. type in sex adn everything worth watching has been removed.. them cocksuckers..
(nah I still love youtube) What I want is to upload a viddy of mytube to youtube.. but I am having ahward time finding a co-star.. so if ther eare any ladies out there, wanting to star in a movie with the old DeRex.. and you don;t mind me posting your naked body getting abused by me all over the net.. write
I Must be fuckin nuts.
2769 Harrington Way
Washington DC 20011

Lets all get naked again shall we?
No need to have a cause.. lets all just get naked and write about it.. come on you know you want to..

American Idol or Tammy NYP I am out of ideas…

American Idol or Tammy NYP I am out of ideas…

Yes friends the well is dry.. no not that I do not have anything to write.. because quite frankly I do not care if you find my schtick funny or not.. I write this crap to entertain myself and myself alone..
You see I write serious crap all day everyday.. when I come here, I drop my trousers air out my naughty bits and let ‘er fly.

So if it is comedic, or fiction, or non-fiction or bad poetry.. it’s all good to me.
(Sorry about the poor typing and spelling and complete lack of care about grammar and proper usage.. but this is my play ground and from here, I am the biggest bully on the grounds.. )


But what I am eluding to.. is advertising.

You see I have this big fat colomb at the left, that is just begging for some ads, to get you people paying me for all this “work” I am doing.. so what do you think?
Should I post American Idol ads? A link to a place that says they have Tammy nyp downloads? Or pavlina spreads? Or should I go all serious on you and put ads for Viagra, penis enlargement and slightly used cat furniture up? (Because e I think this is what you really want..)

So tell me.. tell me what you want to see here.. or what you buy or at least click on when you see an ad.. what cranks your ta la la?

Come on you know what kinda crap you like to see.. why don’t you sit right down and tell me?

And if you don’t like it.. then leave.. but before you do go to www.tombofanubis.com and www.welcometowallyworld.coma and leave them a little spam… k?
DeRex
The New Other White Meat.

American Idol Suprise McPhee? WTF! Even Bucky was stunned!

Okay so Mc Phee got called up.. did you see the look in Bucky's face.. he knew he sucked.. and that she did not.. WTF?!?!
Okay Ace was worse than the girl that went home.. but I can agree with that vote.. but boobs should have been left out of that.. hell I voted twice for her.. (once for each tit)

So American vote for McPhee becaus eif we're lucky she will ahve a wardrobe malfunction!

Also, in home front news.. I been a baaaaaaad boy.
I been hanging out at partypoker.com
Click here to go see for yourself!
Sure online gamming is illegal in this state, and I am not saying that you should go break anlaws.. I am just saying that at partypoker.com you can play for fun (or for money). I played the imaginary money rooms for a could of weeks, and if I had been playing in a real money room I would have made about $25,000.. so I decided that I woudl try my hand at a real money room.. time will tell if I make anything from it.. but it sure is fun!
A friend said that all the good players are in the money rooms.. after a short viewing today I have to disagree.. many of the players in the money rooms suck!

I think it would be a blast to quit my job and just play cards for a living.. not that i think I am good enough, I am an okay player, and when I watch things like a the World Series of Poker, I stand in amazement at the skill of the real pros!
But if you are like me, go check out partypoker.com and play a little in the imaginary money rooms.. it is really a blast. And who knows you may see me there.. look for delorumrex... if you see me there, be sure to say hi.

Peace,
DeRex





Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Transparency International a summary to help sort throught the spam..

Exceprt from Fake Rake:
"You know, there are lots of news and cultural items I’ve discovered from looking at the top searches on Technorati. I’d never have heard of NYP Tammy if not for that, and, while that didn’t really mean anything except a few bucks in Adsense revenue, it was an interesting glimpse into the weird and sexually repressed culture of Singapore.
But now the top search for a few days has been “Transparency International.” I kind of ignored it for a while, since it didn’t mean anything to me, but today started reading up on it. And it’s a very interesting story out of Germany."

Read the Full Article

It is interesting to see how people try to get noticed ont eh search engines with top rated search terms. I still always wonder wha the real top search is, due to term blocking, I do not think it is often what you see at techno.
I do like it when somone takes the time to sort through the spam and coem up with a well written account of what the search term is really all about. The article sighted above is one such item.Well done Fake Rake

American Idol notes from a viewer.. ACE BLOWS













Okay worst performance, Ace.
He was flat most of the song, that little stare at the end of every tune is getting old hat quickly, and he picked the wrong tune.





Best performance: Chris, he has a voice for creed, simaon may have been right when he said it was a bit self serving, but fuck you simon, it rocked!

Pleasant Suprise performance: Paris, doing Beyonce, was actually kinda sexy.. and paris is far from sexy.. it was kinda cool if you ask me.

Unpleasant suprise performance: Kelly Pickler.. for the first time she made me yawn.. the arraingment sucked, she was not that good, and is is just me or has she gained some weight?

Don't get me wrong, I still think it will come down to Kelly and Chris in the end (Chris will win) and both will have carreers because of this. Kelly is just too damned cute to not love. And Chris is just too damn good not to win.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

because you can never have enough Brokeback humor..

I pinched this from Swifty over at http://swiftywriting.blogspot.com/
He really is worth the time it takes to read so go visit him at http://swiftywriting.blogspot.com/

now for the brokeback humor..
yep.. Brokeback Tom and Jerry!
As Swifty wrote" You'll never look at your childhood memories the same." (or something to that effect)



Swifty rocks!

Another Credit Card Scam - Beware

Another Credit Card Scam - Beware
> > >
> > >
> > > This one is pretty slick since they provide YOU
> > > with all the information, except the one piece they want.
> > >
> > > WARNING...New Credit Card Scam.
> > >
> > > Note, the callers do not ask for your card
> > > number; they already have it. This information is worth reading. By
> > > understanding how the VISA &MasterCard Telephone Credit Card Scam
> works,
> > > you'll be better prepared to protect yourself.
> > >
> > > One of our employees was called on Wednesday
> > > from "VISA", and I was called on Thursday from "Master Card".
> > >
> > > The scam works like this: Person calling says,
> > > "This is (name), and I'm calling from the Security and Fraud
> Department
> > > at VISA. My Badge number is 12460 Your card has been flagged for an
> > > unusual purchase pattern, and I'm calling to verify. This would be on
> > > your VISA card which was issued by (name of bank). Did you purchase
> an
> > > Anti-Telemarketing Device for $497.99 from a Marketing company based
> in
> > > Arizona?" When you say "No", the caller continues with, "Then we will
> be
> > > issuing a credit to your account. This is a company we have been
> > > watching and the charges range from $297 to $497, just under the $500
> > > purchase pattern that flags most cards. Before your next statement,
> the
> > > credit will be sent to (gives you your address), is that correct?"
> > >
> > > You say "yes". The caller continues - "I will be
> > > starting a Fraud investigation. If you have any questions, you should
> > > call the 1- 800 number listed on the back of your card (1-800-VISA)
> and
> > > ask for Security.
> > >
> > > You will need to refer to this Control Number.
> > > The caller then gives you a 6 digit number. "Do you need me to read
> it
> > > again?"
> > >
> > > Here's the IMPORTANT part on how the scam works.
> > > The caller then says, "I need to verify you are in possession of your
> > > card". He'll ask you to "turn your card over and look for some
> numbers".
> > > There are 7 numbers; the first 4 are part of your card number, the
> next
> > > 3 are the security Numbers' that verify you are the possessor of the
> > > card. These are the numbers you sometimes use to make Internet
> purchases
> > > to prove you have the card. The caller will ask you to read the 3
> > > numbers to him. After you tell the caller the 3 numbers, he'll say,
> > > "That is correct, I just needed to verify that the card has not been
> > > lost or stolen, and that you still have your card. Do you have any
> other
> > > questions?" After you say No, the caller then thanks you and states,
> > > "Don't hesitate to call back if you do", and hangs up.
> > >
> > > You actually say very little, and they never ask
> > > for or tell you the Card number. But after we were called on
> Wednesday,
> > > we called back within 20 minutes to ask a question. Are we glad we
> did!
> > > The REAL VISA Security Department told us it was a scam and in the
> last
> > > 15 minutes a new purchase of $497.99 was charged to our card.
> > >
> > > Long story made short - we made a real fraud
> > > report and closed the VISA account. VISA is reissuing us a new
> number.
> > > What the scammers want is the 3-digit PIN number on the back of the
> > > card. Don't give it to them. Instead, tell them you'll call VISA or
> > > Master card directly for verification of their conversation. The real
> > > VISA told us that they will never ask for anything on the card as
> they
> > > already know the information since they issued the card! If you give
> the
> > > scammers your 3 Digit PIN Number, you think you're receiving a
> credit.
> > > However, by the time you get your statement you'll see charges for
> > > purchases you didn't make, and by then it's almost to late and/or
> more
> > > difficult to actually file a fraud report.
> > >
> > > What makes this more remarkable is that on
> > > Thursday, I got a call from a "Jason Richardson of Master Card" with
> a
> > > word-for-word repeat of the VISA scam. This time I didn't let him
> > > finish. I hung up! We filed a police report, as instructed by VISA.
> The
> > > police said they are taking several of these reports daily! They also
> > > urged us to tell everybody we know that this scam is happening.
> > >
> > > Please pass this on to all your family and
> > > friends. By informing each other, we protect each other.

Ebay Auction HISTORY! (no shit I ain't kiddin')

Remember my silly little bottle cap tripod auction?
Well it sold.. to all my detractors.. suck it!

Yes, the brave buyer of this cutting edge technology is fellow ebayer Astaud ~
Congratulations!

Now all you wankers! Go check out Austad’s auctions on ebay.. go on do it now!
And while you are there, bid and pay for a few items.. it is fine outstanding young bloggers and ebayers like Astuad that make the new world go round..


To all of those who watched of even bid.. thanks a million.. be sure to keep an eye on this blog for my future items.. some of which may even be worth something.

Go see Astuad’s Collectable Auctions on Ebay now!

American Idol wish it had it this good!

Band: OkGo!
Song: A Million Ways to Be Cruel
Video..

Shot in the back yard on a Saturday.. fucking thing is better than 90% of the shit they try to stuff down our pipes on the Tele..
GADDAMN I Hate People of Talent!
Did you catch the "Matrix" punch.. fuck I hate these guys..
Funny, talented.. and live in cool places.. FUCKERS!!!!
I will admit this is my first introduction to the band OkGo or is that O.K. G.O. whatever!
and if it were not for my bud Wally www.welcometowallyworld.com I may have gone through my whole life not knwoing them.. and feeling just that much funnier than I really am..
Don't you wish you had bought Bryan's Brain when it was for sale on ebay?

now lets not go about being a wanker.. buy the fucking CD.. or I will have them sent to your house.. where they wil dance.. (ala Shprockets)
Speaking of ebay.. my Technosmaprati #1 SOLD! Yes, friends, it went for $10.50.. more than any other botttle cap tripod is worth.. and twice as funny as any gaddamned tammynyp pavlina approved product on the market!
So those who thought I was a silly cunt for posting it.. well I guess you know what to suck..
Yes, I did "IT" on ebay!


or search for your own crap...

Monday, March 27, 2006

Paris Hilton takes the pipe! On video ... again.


Yes, you read that right.. Paris Hilton Takes the pipe!
Read all about it at www.tombofanubis.com







(look for the House of Wax Movie Review.. by Nix)

Youtube fun.. look what happens!>!>!

Look what happens if you put stupid redneck into youtube.

and then..

Feeling a bit naughty?? Check this out.. a download hotter than tammy!

Click here to go see for yourself!

I spent a few hours this weekend playing Texas Hold 'em at Party Poker .com!

I had a blast.. good partice for my Saturday night low stakes game, and beyond that, you can even open up a real money account.. and get a bonus for siging up!
Check it out.. party poker and when asked for a promotional code write NEWWEB.

I made $16,000 in about 3 hours! (Of course I was on the play money tables.. so don;t call the IRS!)


If you are online there, look for me.. Delorumrex.. perhpas we can get into a little head to head action?

Okay now that , that is out of the way.. (yawn)
I can see that there is nothing real exciting going on at techno today.. I even went to visit Mal at www.welcometowallyworld.com and it looks like ain;t much going on there either.. I did like the "Where the fucking hell are you" ad!

I have alwways had a facination with Australia, I would really like to know what Mal moved.. (well other than for his wife.). what's a matter Wally couldn't get a sheila at home? Or did you run outta sheep? (Sorry Mal I could not help it.. you may now make fun of my flippers)

At any reat.. now that is it monday adn we all have hangovers form the weekend, go check out www.tombofanubis.com as I am sure that the Sunday Sacralidge has been posted, and see go sign up at partypoker.com because palying from real money is a whole lot more fun than waisting your time at work playing solitare.. (come on you know you do it!)

Your life is a transperency.. play the mind control game with me..

Lets see if the government mind controll is working.. go ahead take the test!!! I dare you!


>
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>your mind.
>
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> QUICK! THINK ABOUT A COLOR AND A TOOL!
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> Scroll further to the bottom....
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> You just thought about a red hammer , didn't you?
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> If this is not your answer, you are among 2% of people who have a
>different, if not abnormal, mind.
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> 98% of the folks would answer a red hammer while doing this exercise.
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> If you do not believe this, pass it around and you'll see.
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> Be sure to put in the subject line if you are among the 98% or the 2%
>and send to everyone, including the person that sent it to you.

RedNeck Divorce...

Redneck Divorce Letter



Dear Cooter,

Me an Sue Ellen have divorced, the judge gave her the double wide and the pickup.

So, like the court order said, I delivered the truck before 2 O'clock, yesterday afternoon! I took a piccure fer proof that I delivered it... Wanted to make sure she found it when she got home!!!

How's your day going? See ya later,

Your Buddy,
Bubba