Saturday, May 13, 2006
Photo from http://www.randomimage.us/
Not too vampireish, but damn hot!
Put a set of fangs on her, and she could suck me anytime!
In other news.. The latest and greatest Duke Lacrosse story is underway.. may is vampire month, and Nix is still a porn king.
Also look for a cameo aperence from Mal in the next episode of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: You Wanna' Suck My What?
Now look at the stuff below.. being Vampire month and seeing that this blog has an erotic sexy flavor, the offerings below honor Anne Rice.
Friday, May 12, 2006
When last we left Duke, he had just met a new client, a beautiful and mysterious client, who we found out was not wearing any panties. ( I promise to get to the gratuitous sex and violence soon)
And now I offer you, the continuation of
Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: Saint’s Blood Part Two The Morning After.
I went home, drank a couple of Scotches and thought “What happened to me today?”
Here I was all warmed up for a nigh of strippers, and telling lies, , up until that dame walked in.. now all I could do was think about her.
Usually when I get up close to a stunner like this one, I can keep my cool, but there was something about this gal that made my head spin. I felt drunk while she talked, sue her bod was distracting, and her face one of an angel, but what had happened to me? Now that she was out of the office and I had time to reflect on her visit it all got clearer, I was remembering the things she had said, while I was so “distracted”.
I gotta admit, visions of that body and face still haunt me, but when she was in my office, I was lost in them. It almost seemed like, she wanted me all confused, and enthralled, up and until she showed me that picture, then something released me to think on my own again?
And that thing she showed me, wow, it had to be a few hundred years old, and not much of it was not covered in ice of one sort or another.. I had to wonder where she stole it from? Heck something like that piece ought to be in the Vatican I figure.
I was starting to get a bit sleepy, so to the sack I went.
Wednesday must really be pissed, I thought, usually when she would go off like this she’d buy a few things, talk with her girlfriends about what a lout I was and then, come crawl into bed with me, so woe could make up good.. but not tonight. The whole day was just out of plumb somehow.
“Ah fuck it Duke:” I said to the dark ceiling in my empty bedroom. “Tomorrow’s another day, and Wednesday will be glad to hear we got work.” That was the last thing I thought, until morning..
I woke up.. it was morning.. I could tell it was morning by the faint light outside.. my head pounded, and my bladder was full.. so up to the john to take some aspirin and have a leak.. standing I felt dizzy damn dizzy.. and as my head swum snatches of wild dreams started to come to me.. “damn Duke, you really tied one on last night” I said to myself as I started to piss.. one arm against the wall behind the head to hold myself up, it burned a little, not “Singapore Bang-Clap” kind of burn but a little like the tip was irritated? . “what the fuck’s wrong with you Duke” I thought I must be coming down with some bug or another, so I thought I would climb into bed for a while longer and try to shake it. “I better call in Wednesday, may have came in today, she usually was not gone for long on these occasions, and almost always on Friday.. it’s payday, and even if the checks are rubber at least there checks, and I always made good on them before.
So back to bed.. “There’s something wrong, with this.” I thought, my head was still pounding, and there was something wrong with the light?
I had a phone on my bed stand, I dialed the number to the office, it rang, and rang again, and rang again.. no answer.. “well, it is still early, what time is it” I looked for my watch, found it on the night stand next to my wallet.. it was 8:00… “kinda dark for 8:00 I thought.. “ that’s when it hit me, the sun! My window looks west, and I could see the little slit of the sun as it SANK below the horizon! “Holly fuck it’s 8:00 at night!”
No sooner did I get that out, then I realized I was late for my dinner date…. A sexy lady always has had a way of making me feel better, and no sooner than thought of her, I started to feel better.
I tossed on my clothes, ran to the bathroom again, grabbed a quick shave and tossed some stink-juice on.
I looked a little rushed as I glanced at my mirror on the way out of the room, but it’ll have to do, plus this dame has something she wants from me, so she’ll have to cope.
I drove down to the office as fast as I dare, the streets were pretty clear this late in the evening, so it was only a few minutes before I was at the building.
I noticed a light on in the building sup’s office first floor in front.. sucker…, “oh for fucks sake”, I thought “that little bastard is probably waiting for me”.. the rent was a little over-due so I did what any fine outstanding Private Eye would.. I parked in back and went up the fire escape.
I was no more than sitting at my desk when she came in..
“Hello Mr. Lacrosse.” She said in that smoky smooth voice, with it’s hint of an accent..
“Hello uh.. I’m sorry I didn’t get your name?” I felt like a heel.
“Marie Alexander” she said, her eyes lighting on each syllable.
She offered her hand, palm down, and without thinking I kissed it. (WTF?? Usually I would smirk at anybody who did that.. but this doll had something special about her)
“How can I help ya?” I said gesturing towards the chair across from my desk.
“Mr. Lacrosse, as I told you briefly yesterday, I need your help in locating a very special family heirloom. It was stolen from my father’s collection nearly 10 years ago, and after all of those years, I have tracked it to this city. I want you to re-acquire it for me. Whatever the price is I will pay it., but I must get it back, and you must not tell anyone about this.” Her eyes lighting up on that last bit.. this dame was dead serious about that bit.
“Well keeping secrets is one thing I do well, and if the pay is right, I can get your trinket back from anybody in this city”. I sat back a little smug, but feeling that I was in for a hell of a pay day.
“It is no trinket!” She yelled standing and leaning across my desk in an all too smooth and fast manner.. gave me the heebegeebies!
She leaned over, her face close to mine, and said, “it is priceless, it is a family treasure, and you will be respectful!” I got the feeling that she would kill me right now if she did not need me.. and quite honestly she scared me a bit.
My eyes must have moved towards the upper right drawer of my desk, because she pulled htat mind reading stunt on me again..
“You won’t need you gun, not with me Mr. Lacrosse.” She must have seen my eyes move.. she simply must have, and guessed my gun was in that upper drawer? Or had she searched my office?? Ah fuck it, she was creepy but she was beautiful..
Tonight she wore a black dress, a long number, with a plunging neckline, and a slit up the side, that offered a glimpse of her goodies when she walked, shoes were high heeled stilettos, stockings silk jobs with e line up the back. They ended about mid thigh, I know because I saw the top of them through that marvelous slit. I was wondering again, if their were any panties up there, and I was already trying to think of a plan where I could be sure…
“What else can you tell me?” I said to her as cool as I could muster.
She said that the object this golden ball on a stick with sparkles, was stolen by a family acquaintance, and art dealer, a Malcolm Biggs. She said that Biggs, had run first to Rome, then Paris, then London then here, arriving in town only three days ago.
She produced a photo of Biggs, it was a newspaper clipping, the article below was in some language I had never seen, and the picture showed a skinny guy with a skinny mustache, and greased back hair standing in front of a painting of some sort.
She started to tell me what the story said, but my mind started to wander again as she spoke.. my eyes, landed on the place between her two beautiful breasts, and the ruby pendant that hung there, a big number, circled with diamonds, on a gold chain that sparkled nearly as much as the gems. With each breath her breasts rose and fell, and my mind wandered..
My mind wandered back to my dreams from the night.. day? Erotic dreams, strange how memories of dreams can come at you, when you least expect them, and when you remember a dream the sequence of events can make so little sense, but you remember thinking that it was a normal progression when you were dreaming?? The dream went something like this.. I was in my room. There was a flash or a shadow in the dark.. then I was laying on my back, nude.. a hand came up between my legs, and started to stork my cock, the hand became a mouth, a very red lipped mouth,, this crazy dame’s mouth.. then the mouth was a vagina.. riding up and down on my hard cock, only a vagina? My eyes blind to all else? The feeling of strong but smallish hands on my chest.. sharp nails digging in.. and that feeling of being ridden.. then the mouth again.. sucking and drawing my cock in.. deep draws it took, and I came, I musta came.. I didn’t wake up “wet” but I remember the feeling of cumming, and cumming and cumming, the hot fluid coming out for a long, long time.. then darkness again, and nothing more. Dreams can be so fucking strange, if my mind was going to make a dream up about this dame, the least I would expect is that it let me play with her titties while she fucked me silly? Ah well.. at least my mind is getting some if I ain’t?
As my mind came back to the room again, I noticed, that my client had again stopped talking, this time she was sitting back in her chair, eyes slightly closed, and a slight smile on her full red lips.. from under the slits of her eyelids, I saw a glint, then they were opened again, she only smiled.
I felt like she knew what I had been thinking of, and the fact that she did not look disturbed by it, nearly gave me the courage to ask her to hop in the sack with me right there on the desk.
She only smiled…
I was about to say that I would need a day or so to work up some leads, when she said. “I will be back tomorrow evening, I suppose you will need some time.: and with that she stood turned and walked out.. her ass as perfect as I had ever seen, hugged tightly by her dress, with not a panty line to be seen.. “nope” I though.
(to be continued)
Now try some real sex and erotica.
thanks to amazon.com
books and video for lovers..
But I still do not think I will bother to watch the rest of this season, and may not bother to watch next season either..
I have always been fond of this tune, and I think Chris did it justice.
Chris, rock on bor, rock on..
and now thanks to youtube, I give you
Chris Daughtry (video) What a Wonderful World...
Boycotting American Idol is not an original idea, but not a bad one.. I don;t know if you woudl call my not watching a boycott as much as you woudl call it, "I got somthing better to do now."
I am glad to see that I am not the only wanker on the planet that thought Chris was robbed.
Chris Daughtry was the best and that's that.
here's a youtube Chris Daughtry video.. Hemmorage.. "the reason Fuel offered him the job".. fuck he is good!
Also I am glad to see more confirmation of the rumor that Fuel wants to hire him.. personaly I think a solo carreer woudl be the best move, just because at this point "Chris Daughtry" is more recognizable a brand than nearly any newer band..
And let's face it even Chris couldnt save the sinking ship that is Van Halen, so why go with an older band?
Check Fuel out.
If you cannot figure out who Fuel is, click the link above, ther eare samples of their songs on the amazon page..
in other news.. It is still May and Still Vampire Month.. so here is a Vampire pic for ya!
Check out their calender!!
and as long as we are on the subject of sexy, sex, video and blogs.. check this blog out
With sexy video, pictures, adn the works.. even a BJ video!!! WTF?!?!?
Too bad I can;t post shit like that on blogger eh?
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Rumor has it ,that Chris was bought out of his American idol contract by an unnamed record label. Combine this with his offer to sing for Fuel, and we may just know how it happened..
Everyone thought Chris would win, including Chris, the buy out and back door conferencing between AI and the label was unknown to Chris until after the close of last nights show.
(all of this is completely unsubstantiated rumor)
American Idol has lost all credibility with me due to this. How could it be that the sure fire winner of the whole shebang has one bad night and goes home? And Kat did worse than he did last Tuesday?
I hope that if there is any truth to the buy our rumor that it gets exposed. This whole thing is such a let down I do nto think I will bother to watch the rest of this years competition, if you can still call it that. Nor do i think I will bother next year. A.I. if they did make a deal, may have signed off for more cost than they bargained for..
If Chris does sing for Fuel, I will buy my first Fuel CD shortly after it's release.
here is an interesting blog entry that about sums up my feelings..
In more interesting stuff..
I watched an Movie Last night..
Evil Dead II.
For those of you who are not familure with the Evil Dead Movies, let me give you a brief discription.. Slapstick like falls, spills, hit, mixed with blood, gore, and dead people eating souls.. these movies, are a blast to watch. Especialy if you have an unusual sense of humor, or are a gore and horror fan. My bro Nix can tell you more about them than anyone I know.. you can see his blog at evilshouldntlookthisgood, and his reviews at tomb of anubis check them both out.. after you buy a copy of rent one, by using hte links below.. (you didn;t think I was doing this for my health did you>?
rent at inteliflix the best place for online rentals (IMHO)
and last but not least.. your sexy vampire picture of the day..
this one thanks to http://i.timeinc.net/
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
I now offer to you, the second Duke Lacrosse Private Eye Story.. this one as the last should be filled with thrills , and chills and a bunch of kinky sex too..
and now without further delay.. I bring you...
Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: Saint’s Blood.
Part One: An Unusual Encounter.
It was a typical Thursday, well other than he fact that I was not hung-over, and did not have any intention of going to the strip bar down the street.
I was finishing up a little ditty for a dame who thought her husband was cheating. Turns out, he was, they always are, but it was with who that made it so damn entertaining.
He was sleeping with the staff of the local Circus side show.. Bearded lady, fat lady, rubber lady.. all of ‘em. The pictures I got from the parking lot of that sleazy hotel were worth a mint, to the wife and my friends in the fetish business. You would be amazed at the positions a rubber lady can get into .. (damn that looks like it hurts).
Wednesday had the day off, we.. she had taken the week off, seems she had a problem with working for rubber checks.. unlike the rubber lady the checks I had written Wednesday lately were not a good sort of fucking.. but after I got this little bit of business out of the way, we would be rollin’ in dough again. From time to time Wednesday would get up in a huff, when I could not pay her, but still managed to support my booze and stripper habits.. freakin women who can figure then out?
Well that would soon be over I thought, as I sealed the envelops to the wife, and my friend Nix (The porn King) Nix was the best thing that had happened to me lately, the royalty checks from the last story came regular, and I found I could upgrade form cheap scotch to inexpensive scotch with the extra money..
Hell, they even paid for the Gallon of KY and trip to Hedonism II I had promised Wednesday .. but that’s another story.
Like what happens in every cheesy private Dick story what happened next was as predictable as it was cliché’. A dame walked in.. a real stunner.
I hear her enter in through the front door, my office door, a frosted glass number stood between her and me, in the light of the front office, where Wednesday normally sat, I could see the profile of my visitor. She was petit thing, with curves that would make Lombardi street in San Fran jealous. I let her stand out there a while, I liked to see what someone would do in an empty office, if they did not know that they were being watched.. this dame was a class act, she was writing a note on Wednesday’s desk. After a moment she turned to leave, that’s when I cleared my throat to let her know I was in. (I was thinking about getting in and out and in and out with her.. them was some curves!)
“Mr. Lacrosse?” she called, through he glass.. She had a satin smooth voice, with a hint of an Eastern European accent. “I am looking for a Mr. Lacrosse.”
“You found him doll, come on it.” I said back to the glass not bothering to get up and open the door.
From my desk, I had a good view of those entering, and the lamp in the front office was positions so that in the case of a sheer dress walking in, I could get a good shot of the silhouette of what was under.. you gotta love back lighting!
She came in and my breath left.. wow, what a stunner.. thick dark hair, with the kind of curls you could really wrap your fingers around and long enough to tie to the bed post, dark eyes, so deep that you just wanted to dive in.. and lips the reddest I had ever seen, so full and so soft looking you just wanted to have them wrap around your… (oh sorry…what was I saying??)
He voice was that of an angel.. Hypnotizing.. she talked.. I tried to listen but I was enthralled by her mouth too much to concentrate on the words.. I just kept seeing flashes of that bubble gum tongue, (I smell sex and candy kept running through my mind.. gaddamn adult ADD!) and those whiter than white teeth.. “”All the better to suck you with”.. I thought (wished ) I heard her say.
She went on for a few minutes, I stood staring, feeling a stiffening in my drawers that I hoped she would not see.. well not yet anyway.. in and amongst all my naughty thoughts, I got the impression that she was wanting to hire me.. hire me for a job, that had nothing to do with Tammy NYP, the porn industry, or getting shot at.. too bad I enjoy two outta three of those..
I asked her to sit in the chair directly across from me.. she wore a smart gray business suit, with a short skirt, no blouse! and smart shoes with an all too sharp looking heel.. “damn nice.” I kept thinking. Her neckline dropped just low enough to reveal an occasional flash of red satin bra.. my mind immediately put the matching panties on her..
“I’m not wearing any”.. she said across the desk to me..
I thought I had imagined it.. but after a moment I noticed that she was not talking any more.. that she was staring at me.. cool and calm.. “I’m sorry?!?!” I said.
“I’m not wearing any.” She said as deliberately as I have ever heard anything said to anybody..
“Jeez Duke, you let that slip?? ‘ I thought to myself..
“No but you are an easy man to read. All men are easy to read once you know them , or know of them.” Again she said this so coolly I thought I felt a shiver.
“That’s some cute trick you go there.” I said grinning at her.. trying not to let it show that I was really creeped out, by this whole mind reading business..
“No trick, but rather the result of years of watching men.” Her grin opened and those whiter than white teeth flashed, a glint of mischief in her eye, she knew she was toying with me like a cat on a mouse and she was enjoying it.
This dame can’t be but 23 or 24 I thought, how could she have spent years doing anything. Hell I got underwear older than this girl.. I was starting to re-gather my composure at the realization that while she may have been beautiful and she may have been able to startle me but she was still a kid, a damn beautiful one but still a kid. As for her mind reading trick, I had seen “cold reads” like this a hundred time in the clubs. But this was the first time I was sober, and the schmuck doing the cold read didn’t look like John Edwards. This was no schmuck. And I doubt that John Edwards has anyone in his gene pool with looks like this babe.
“Mr. Lacrosse, seriously for a moment if I may, I am in need of your services, I need you to help me find an item.” She said tossing a photo onto my desk.
“What’s that , some kind’a Church art?” I said looking down at a picture of what looked like a jewel encrusted orb on a stick, something you would only see on a Saint’s day at a Catholic church.
(photo borrowd from http://www.historiska.se/)
“In a sense it is just that. It is the reliquary of the Blood of St. Cecelia” she tailed off, as if remembering something.. as she said it..
“And it’s worth something?” I said..
“It is priceless…..” she nearly whispered…her eyes were looking someplace far away, or long ago.. now it was her turn to be mesmerized.
“And what’s in this for me..” I said taking back my normal composure.
“All you ever imagined” she said, leaning forward so as to expose a bit of her cleavage and another good glimpse of that red bra..
My mouth fell open.. I know I wanted to say something.. but for fucks sake, I couldn’t think of what?
Needless to say I took the job. She said she would be back the following evening to discuss some details, of the case, I asked if I could meet her for dinner.. hell Wednesday was pissed off at me, why not? My client refused, and acted a little shy for the first time since she had walked in.. this was going to be interesting.. very interesting.
(to be continued)
American Idol Notes: (from a reluctant viewer) Plus Duke Lacrosse and other important stuff from a sleep deprived mind.
Well America you voted.. yada yada yada..
Last night was interesting..
Weak performances Fron (upskirt, wardrobe malfunction specialist) Katherine McPhee and Chris set teh stage for Elliot and Taylor Hicks to shine.. WTF!
If last night were the only night, I would have to say that Kat goes home.. but will America remember how hot and sexy she was in previous episodes??/ (oh wait, she can sing her ass off too.. that should help.. with the ladies and homosexuals)
Elliot is still so freaking boring, that you woudl think I would have had no problem sleeping last night.. too bad that is not the case.. my weekly bout of insomnia came.. and it was about 5 hours ago that I got to sleep.. I been up for an hour now.. you do the math.. Elliot singing, "Cause I am Evil" made me want to shove hiom into a locker.. and he is so fucking ugly that he is painful to watch.. if he makes it to the end.. I may just shoot myself. But fuck if he didn;t do a better job than my favorites, Chris and Kat..
Taylor, again looked like he had fun, sang well and KILLED "In the Ghetto". I have siad since the beginning that I like Taylor, and if he chose the proper songs, I woudl listn to a Taylor Hicks CD.. but is he the best??? Last night he may have been.
In mor eimportant news.. the first installment of the next Duke Lacrosse story was finished (except for editing, and that's for girls) but I do nto have a good title?
Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: You wanna suck my what?@?!
Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: Darkness Falls , and It Can;t Get Back Up?
Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: All the Sex, only half the Spam.
Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: Where's Tammy NYP?
Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: Go find it your fuckin' self.
Here is an Excerpt..
Like what happens in every cheesy private Dick story what happened next was as predictable as it was cliché’. A dame walked in.. a real stunner.
I hear her enter in through the front door, my office door, a frosted glass number stood between her and me, in the light of the front office, where Wednesday normally sat, I could see the profile of my visitor. She was petit thing, with curves that would make Lombardi street in San Fran jealous. I let her stand out there a while, I liked to see what someone would do in an empty office, if they did not know that they were being watched.. this damn was a class act, she was writing a note on Wednesdays desk. After a moment she turned to leave, that’s when I cleared my throat to let her know I was in. (I was thinking about getting in and out and in and out with her.. them was some curves!)...
ANd so ends my third Monday of the week posting.. I will be sleeping at my desk later, so I hope it's enough.
Remember Spell Check is for people who care...
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
That's called an illusion..
can you say illusion? I knew you could..
David blaine holds his breath for 7 minutes after waisting nearly 2 hours of his viewers lives.. thats called lame.... can you say lame? good, I knew you could..
Things I haev heard him called today.
David somone's getting the Blame Blaine
David Don't Blame me you're stupid enough to watch.
David 'Watch me make your IQ disapear" Blaine.
David Watch my next audience disapear Blaine.
David, you call that magic Blaine.
and variations of the above..
so all in all I woudl have to say holding your breath for 7 + minutes.. an okay stunt, at your local swimming pool, but a damn stupid way to spend two hours of any evening.
Biggest Douche Award, goes to.. no not David Blaine.. but rather, his promoter, for not seeing this one as a comlete waste of time and ariwaves... thanks a lot douche.
For those of you who were not around form the beginning. I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I did writing it. And now, the recap, and complete Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: The Tammy NYP Incident.
The Adventures of Duke Lacrosse.. Private Eye.
My Name is Duke Lacrosse, Private Eye.
I do my best work on Wednesday.
Wednesday is my girlfriend.
The other day Wednesday and I went to a party in Singapore to shoot some video and try to catch a glimpse or porn star accidente' Tammy Nyp.
We were all there, jumping for Joy, until Joy left..
But that was okay because everyone was still feeling Mary. Until Mary left.
The only thing left to do was grope a stripper, and well that just gets old after a while.. So
Wednesday and I went to leave, and put a tail on Mary and maybe a school girl outfit or something, when Wednesday noticed I had a flat tire.
She pumped and I jacked, then she jacked and I pumped..
Then we fixed the flat.
It was too late to chase Mary, so Wednesday and I went back to my place, we were sitting on the couch together, when a rock crashed through my window.
It hit Marry straight in the breast.
Broke two of my fingers.
There was a note attached to the rock, merry unwrapped it and read:
Help me, my name is Tammy and I have a boyfriend named Edgar. Edgar Hung, we are trying to run away to America to be in the movies together, but my parents wont let me go.
Please help us.
Signed Tammy NYP.
Interesting I thought, I thought Edgar's first name was Hung?
And Wednesday blew me.
Blew me away with her ability to read Chinese.
(To be continued)
Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: Th Tammy NYP Incident Part 2
Wednesday looked up at me with her watery doe eyes, and said “Mff mre emm fffhu”
So I said, Wednesday didn’t your mother teach you not to talk with your mouth full?
So Wednesday pulled back and said “I didn’t know Edgar was Hung”
“It seems that he is, and in more than just reputation . “ I said. "But I didn't think there were any Asian men who were hung. Just goes to show you , you learn something new everyday."
So afterwards Wednesday cleaned off her new dress form the Clinton collection a stunning blue number, we went out on the town looking for Edgar Hung and Tammy NYP..
Was she soon to be Tammy Hung? Well in any event we knew who was Hung at the moment.
We searched and searched all through my pants, and her blouse and up Wednesdays Skirt too, but we couldn’t find Tammy and Edgar.
So after a while we pulled into a real dive, a greasy spoon dinner with extra grease on the menu.
We hadn’t been in there long when we noticed the singing Vikings..
“I hope that they don’t start that spam song again” Wednesday stated rather plainly..
But it was too late, the mere mention of Spam or this blog always set the Vikings to singing..
I was just about to leave, with Wednesday when in walked Tammy.
“There she is, I wonder how her pussy is doing?” I queried.
“I thought she was a dog owner” was Wednesday's response.
“Yes, yes, and her little dog too.. “ I said quickly covering my steps.
“Hello You must be Duke Lacrosse” Tammy said, her almond eyes watering from emotion, or over exertion.
“Where’s hung?” I said.
"Who’s Hung” she said.
"We all know who's Hung" I said.
“I heard your boyfriend was hung” Injected Wednesday.
“Now, now, girls lets not go getting jealous” I said. “We can’t all be Hung”
Wednesday glanced up at me with that knowing sneer, that I always wanted to slap off her face.
(So I did).
(to be continued)
Don’t miss a single episode of “Duke Lacrosse Private Eye!”
In the mean time see Sam Spade the charictor that Inspired Duke Lacross and every other private dick.
Duke Lacrosse Part Trix..
So after I wiped Wednesday's lipstick off of my hand, not its usually place on my anatomy. I asked Tammy..
"So Doll what have you done with Hung?"
"What haven't I done" she replied.
"Come on doll stop trying to show off in front of Wednesday and just tell me where you put hung."
"She didn't do a reverse camel with a half gainer" Said Mel the greasy spoon's owner.
"Shut UP!" was Tammy's only response.
Seems everyone knew who was Hung tonight.
"Meet me at this place, a little after midnight" Tammy said shoving a business card into my hand and quickly exiting this fine dining establishment.
Mel's Dinner at 2245 Parkside Ave, in Ravenna. (Mel that will cost you a fiver)
I turned to Wednesday, she was upset at the little love tap I had given her earlier, and I knew before the night was over, I would be calling her "daddy"... "It says the Hotel Royal" and has an address.. "
"Is there a room number" said Wednesday.
"On the back of the card it says "69. but I ain't sure if that's an invitation or a room number?"
"You're a whore." was all Wednesday had to say..
We went back to my place. Wednesday was sore at me, so I gave her a little bit of ice to rub on her full luscious lips.. Usually if we were rubbing ice on Wednesdays lips it meant something different.. something sexual, but it was late, and Wednesday was pissed, so I have a feeling that the blindfolds and handcuffs, if they were used tonight would be so that I didn't know were Wednesday had dropped my drugged body off at, and to keep me from resisting.
I made a mental note.. "Don't smack Wednesday without a hidden handcuff key up my ass."
"Are you going to meet her?" Wednesday said after a short while
"After the meating she took from Edgar, I am not sure what purpose that would serve, but I was thinking about it" I admitted.
"Can I come along" Wednesday asked, sounding more timid than usual.
"Listen Doll I don't care where you cum, as long as you clean up after yourself" I said, taking advantage of her timely timidity, and knowing full well she was only playing up to me.
"We've got an hour to kill before we have to leave." Wednesday said looking even more smashing than normal with her pouty Angelina Jolie lips.. (I made another mental note.. ) "What do you want to do with it?"
I grinned at her knowingly.. she grinned back, even more knowingly, too bad I didn't catch her knowing more than I did in time....
(to be continued!.. check back later for the continuing saga of "Duke Lacrosse Private Eye!"
The ever continuing saga of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye : The Tammy NYP Incident
Well Wednesday and I really got it on.. well actually we took it all off, and Wednesday got on. But I digress..
Her lips swollen with passion and that little swak I gave her in the much earlier tasted even sweeter than the had earlier in episode one when I had her.. well never mind…
It was her nipples that tasted queer.. no not “Brokeback” Queer, odd queer.. like I imagine Michael Moore must taste queer..
That’s when it hit me.. knockout drops.. dear sweet Wednesday had tainted her nipples.. and taint, I would guess with knockout drops.. I could hear her giggling and asking “Who’s your daddy?” just before everything turned gray.. then black.
When I woke up, it was morning, I could tell it was morning, because of the smell of pilitas rising up through the air. That and the fact that Springer was on the tube.
My head hurt, a lot, my ass hurt even more.. It seems Wednesday caught my remark about hiding handcuff keys there, because once I managed to undue the duct tape Wednesday had restrained me with , I found the hand cuff keys, the hand huffs, a bull whip, a can of ready whip, and two dead gerbils up there) The gerbils may have been from that party Wednesday and I went to earlier in the night so I wrote them off, but my ass knows no pain such as a Wednesday scorned.
“Damn” I said aloud to the television, Springer always puts me in a foul mouth mood, I lost that card.. Wednesday??? I Thought.. seems she wanted to take up the invitation.. without me.. that naughty bitch.. (make mental note, don’t smack Wednesday over this), then out the door I went.
I hopped into my 1939 five window coupe. (because what else would a private eye named Duke Lacrosse drive) and headed for the Hotel Royal….
“I hope I am not to late” is all I could think..
To be continued…
Will Duke get to the Hotel in time to Video Tape, Edgar, Tammy, Ebony and Wendsday in action??? Tune in tomorrow to find out..
As now made famous(er) by the posting here. Thanks Fisher WY
The continuing saga of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye continues..
The Fix is in.
I raced for the Hotel Royal at top speed. Which considering it was nine in the morning, and Rush hour was in full effect was about 12 miles per hour.
The whole time flashes of the past evenings events ran through my mind.
Wednesday looking sexier than I had ever seen her.. (mental note look into Collagen injections for Wednesday , her birthday is coming up.. aw shit Tuesday was her birthday.. no wonder she’s sore)
Okay, no problem collagen, and an all expense paid trip to Hedonism II and she’ll forgive me.
The look that crossed Tammy’s face, when Edgar being Hung was brouthg up? Was that fear? Was it delight? Was it that look a gal gets just before sinking her teeth into a pillow? Yep that was it!
There must be a new tape, an all Tammy All Anal All the Time Tape?
Or maybe those were just the lyrics of that new Potatoebabies song? I was still mildly confused and dazed by Wednesday’s nipple knock out drops.
I pulled into the Hotel Royal just in time to see Hung and a black super model / porn star named Ebony run to a waiting Bentley and skidder out into traffic..
“FUCK FUCK FUCK” I yelled aloud, knowing full well my little 5 window coupe would never catch them in this traffic. Also realizing that I could easily catch up to them on foot, in this traffic, I decided that I would much rather go see if I could find Wednesday and Tammy than exhert myself this early in the morning, and before my first Bourbon.
So up to the desk of the Hotel Royal I strode, this place looked right at home in a bad 1940's gangster movie, but what in this story doesn’t? I rang the bell and no sooner than the ringing stopped a fat man in a too tight red velvet suit stuck his head out of the back office..
“Um, what can I do you for” he said in a voice as cliché’ as that cliché’.
“I am looking for a gal, a small Asian gal with a pert little set of”. (had I said too much? I thought, not completing my description)
“Ahh who aint?.”said the fat man a big greasy chicken eating grin overcoming his big greasy chicken eating face. “You’re looking for them dames in 69.”
“Who ain’t looking for a pair of dames in 69” I thought.. “Yea that’s them” I said.
“They ain’t here no more, But if your names is LaRue I got something for ya.” Said the fat man as he walked back to his office.
“Le Rue, well that’s a new one” I thought” Usually I get called Dick or Duck, fucked up my last name that’s a new one… fat bastard”
The fat man brought out in his fat hands a note, covered in chicken grease, and Wednesday's chicken scratch.. I knew her hand writing anywhere, that bimbo could’a been a doctor, until she met me.. the chicken grease was from the fat man, but for a moment I imagined it was Vasalene and I wasn’t the only one that got “The Treatment” last night..
“Anything else bub?” I said to the fat man.
“Nope, just the note” he said and walked back to his 12 piece bucket.
On the outside of the improvised envelope the note was in it said “To Dick LaRue”
Wednesday.. I thought.. I gotta pay somone to smack her a good one.
I opened the note with a speed born of fear.. and the need to use the john.
It read simply”
Having a great time wish you were here.
“Aww hugs and kisses.. fuckin fruity broad” I thought aloud.. as I tossed the note into the hopper just inside the can in the lobby of the hotel.
I do a lot of my best thinking when I am on the crapper, and this morning was no exception.. Besides solving that whole speed of light speed limit thing, I figured out what it was that Wednesday was trying to tell me in her note.
(to be continued)
Be sure to tune in for part SeX of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: The Tammy NYP Incident.
Duke Lacrosse Part Sex.. Six Inches more or Less.
Yea, I knew what Wednesday was trying to tell me.. She was at the XXX Theator on LaRue Street with the three O faced fuck sticks I had been chasing all night.. or was that day? I can't keep them straight.. and she is wanting me to meet them there.
I drove as fast as my ol' '39 would take me.. (again about 17 MPH.. fucking downtown traffic)
And inside of 35 minutes I had traveled the 3 blocks to the LaRue Street XXX Theator and Live Adult Entertainment Palace.
(Lefty for the plug that will cost you a fiver)
I jumped from my car before it had completely stopped which is a damn dumb thing to do with suicide doors, knocked me clean on my keester..
That's when the bullet tore through the padded leather work of the door, missed my head by 6 inches, more or less. (WHat did you people think the title was about?? Fuckin perverts!)
I tucked and rolled, just like my apholstry had been .. bastard.. and stood in the ready stance to pop off a few from my heater back at the son-of-a-bitch that had just ruined $35 worth of leatherette on my door.
But there was nobody there.. just an open door, .. open as if begging me to enter.. open and ready for me.. somehow this made me think of Tammy's legs?
Then I though of Wednesday's nipple drops, and cleared my head again.
"You better be careful this time you old dick" I said to myself. (And to my old dick)
Slowly I entered.. being that it was ony 10 Am, the place was only half full of perverts, whinos and priests.. it was an easy stroll to the front of the theator.. this was the live show side, and two well oiled midgets were having there way with a 600 pound Samoan woman up on the stage..
I stood back to the stage looking out over the half sea of perverts and priests.. and called. "Tammy , Edgar, Ebony.. I know your in here!"
The only sound I heard was that creepy semi-claping sound that your balls make when your are jerking too hard.. then one tall Japanese man in front said 'Sit down.. your spoiling the show...Well I wasn't sittin for anyone doing that poor of a Charlie Chan impersonation. When I heard the click of a .45 colt semi auto from behind me..
"Don't move" came the steely voice of Edgar..
It seems he had been hiding with his .45 in one of the Samoan woman's fat rolls..
"I ain't moving nowhere Edgar" I said.. thinking how I could best move to avoid takin one in the knoggen.
"remove your clothes" Duke.. This time it was the voice of Tammy
Not being one to upset a lady I dropped my drawers, and ripped my shirt off.. yes friend there I stood, in my socks, and a fedora..
"Turn around , let momma get a good look at ya".. it was Ebony sweet and sultry sounding..
"Only if Edgar ain't gonna get an itchy finger" I said..
"Oh he ain't," said Ebony.
"No! I don't like finger man.. I finger Tammy and that's about it" said Edgar..
I turned to face them.. there on the stage..
The midgets and fat lady were just finising up.. and the fat lady had begin to sing with orgasmic delight.. from where I stood it looked like one midget was fucking her with the other smaller midget.. "now that's getting into your work I thought"... Only that little bastard's feet were sticking out.. and the other midget, was laughing and pumping him in and out by his ankles...
The fat lady sang...
(And of course when the fat lady sings.. it's all over....)
So concludes part six of Duke Lacrosse.. Private Eye..
Tune in Tomarrow, or the next day for episode seven.. the "as yet to be named episode"..
Duke Lacross Private Eye.. Part Cervix.. the Sex Slave Days (and Nights)
What happened next is still a blur.
I spun to see Tammy NYP, Ebony, and of course Edgar with his rod in his hand. (and a gun in the other)
But as they were clearing away the fat lady and the midgets, I saw in a far corner, Wednesday. Dear Sweet Sexy Wednesday.. all tied up and naked.
After I finished wondering how the little midget held his breath that long, I wondered what was in store for Wednesday and I?
I didn’t have to wonder too long..
Right there in front of the crowd, I was forced up on stage.. naked except for my socks and fedora.. Wednesday was wheeled out onto the stage.. she had been tied belly down on some sort of rolling stool.. her elbows tied tight on one side, her knees tight to the other.. and slightly spread I would like to add.
“What are you planning to do to Wednesday!” I demanded, forgetting who was in possession of the gun..
“We’re not doing anything to her.. Mr. Lacrosse.. you are!” was the sharp response form Edgar.
Wednesday had been tied up pretty good, I know she must a put up a hell of a fight, or that they had bought her a few drinks, either way, she was tied there unable to do anything to resist .. and gagged with a ball gag just for fun.. I couldn’t help think back to that first Christmas Wednesday and I spent together, the tree all decorated with Ball Gags and Vibro-Dolphin 2000’s.. “those were the days” I thought.. “those were the days.”
“Well Mr. Lacrosse, we’re waiting”, said Tammy. In a voice as cold as my ex-wife.
So I got on my knees behind Wednesday.. and thrust two fingers into her.. one into each hole six pack style. “Is this what your looking for you freaks” I said, trying to mask the fact that I was enjoying the hell out of this..
“Yea, Lacrosse, that’s it.. hit dat shit harder” Said Ebony, always the lady that one.
I noticed out of the corner of one eye, that Edgar had gotten out his video phone and was taping this..
Being the ham that I am I naturally started playing up to the camera.. Wednesday did too.. she managed to rock back and forth on the rollered stool..
She was a moanin and a groanin, by the time I got my wee willy winky up and ready for some hot Wednesday doggy style..
I put just the tip in at first.. Wednesday was screaming something.. but with the ball gag it only sounded like “MFF REMM mEDD MERFET”
Well here goes nothing.. and In the big boy slid.. okay in slid little boy.. (damn it’s my story you would think I could call it big boy without everyone getting all emotional) Wednesday felt good , damn good.. I grabbed an handful of her chestnut hair, and pulled her back into me hard.. again and again.. making a clapping sound when her ass hit my hips.. she was digging it I could tell by the way her eyes had rolled up into her head.. and the little bit of drool that had made it past the ball gag..
“Now Mr. Lacrosse.. rim the young lady” It was tammy that bimbo.
Far be it from me to not follow the directions of a lady, so between Wednesday’s sweet, red from the hip slapping cheeks I dove. Wednesday always tastes sweet as candy. ..and I was really enjoying myself now, despite the gun Edgar held.. “Hey wait a minute!” I thought” How is Edgar still holding that gun if he’s video taping us, with his cell phone?” “Ah who gives a fuck, I always wanted to do Wednesday in front of a crowd” I finished my thought..
All the while I was down there, I was working on Wednesdays knots. Not that I thought she would try to get out of this position before one of us had finished.
“I think she’s cumming” Tammy said in her sweet and innocent voice..
Edgar practically pushed me off of my prey to get a good close up.. damn video phone should have zoom!
Wednesday did cum.. and for a long while she shuddered against my face mouth tongue and lips..
When she was finally spent, I got up behind her and slipped “The little president” in again. It felt hot and wet, and just right..
“No!” I heard Edgar yell.. “That’s a cut!” he said as he kicked me upside my head hard..
The little bastard must a known Karate or some such shit because that was all I remembered.. he had kicked me unconscious.
Thus ends Part Seven of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye : the Tammy NYP Incident.
See what the Critics are saying about Duke Lacrosse Private Eye
“Is it porn? Is it Comedy? Whatever it is it sure is fucked up”
The Breport Examiner
“How did this sick son of a bitch ever live this long”
Nixeclpis Evil Shouldn’t Look This Good Blog
“Crazy Yank Cunt… I stopped going there.. it’s just to disturbing”
Welcome To Wally World.
“You can fool me once, shame on .. you, but.. you see.. a fool can’t get fooled again.”
President George W. Bush
“He thinks that’s Funny???”
Matt and Trey of Southpark
“I don’t get it.”
Kellie Pickler Former American Idol Contestant
Be sure not to miss our next exciting episode..
(TO be continued)
For my readers who do not yet have broadband.. let me suggest.
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The Continuing Adventures of Duke Lacrosse :Private Eye.. Part 8, we all got ate.
When I came to, things had changed, I was no longer in that smoky, smelling of body odor theater. I was in a plush hotel room, maybe it was the Hotel Royal?
My head throbbed, my member did not.. when last I was conscious I was about to bust a full nut all over Wednesday’s backside, real porn show style, when Edgar or someone kicked my upside the head.
It was Edgar! Where is that little son-of-a-bitch?!?!? I tried to sit up, but I had been restrained to the bed.. handcuffed by my right wrist and left ankle to the posts of this larger than large and oh so soft bed.
I looked around, and did not see or hear anyone.. and my head was hurting a lot.. so I figured, I might as well make the best of this situation. I managed to work my socks off.. (the only pieces of clothing I had on.. where’s my hat?? Ah fuck it) I know if I managed to escape , I would only have to come back here, to find Wednesday and the rest, so I decided to take a little nap…
It was the sounds of voices in the corridor that awoke me, it was two women.. it may have been Tammy and Wednesday? Or was it Tammy and Ebony.. or Ebony and Tammy?? I couldn’t tell through the thick walls and door of this luxury hotel.. “Damn I thought” I have slept too long..
It was dark in the room, very, very dark.. the door opened, I couldn’t quite see enough of the silhouette of the person who entered to know who they were.. there were two or three.. maybe four.. they closed the door behind them and did not turn the light on!
“Damn!” I thought , how can I fight with a hand and a leg tied.. and blind as a bat!” I should have tried ot get free earlier.. “. I was coming to realize that this may be the end of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye!
There was a pressure on the foot of the bed.. like someone climbing in.. I readied myself to kick at the person with me free leg.. that’s when I felt hands grab at my free ankle.. and these were not man’s hands.. these hands had all the smoothness and softness of an angel.. “Wednesday!”
While Wednesday held my ankle, the other bed intruder worked their way up my body.. towards my… my.. well my growing manhood..
“What the Fuck is Wednesday doing?? And who.. who.. WHOOOOOO just starting licking my balls!?!?!?!??!” I thought now loosing all sense of self preservation and control.
Then there was another body , climbing in beside the first.. climbing up my leg.. soft kisses felt all the way up my inner leg and thigh.. and still what must have been Wednesday held my ankle..
This new arrival started sucking one of my balls! While the other person in the bed started sucking the other.. I let out an audible moan of pleasure..
That’s when my ankle was let loose.. “I could try to break free” I thought.. but what good would that do.. I am still chained by a wrist and an ankle..
I had just concluded that thought when who I assume to be the third person who had been holding my ankle, slid down towards the other two.. except she slid down towards them from near my shoulder.. I caught on the air the sweet smell I knew to be Wednesday’s and as that thought hit me.. I felt her mouth.. going down on my hard, hard member.
Soon her leg that was closest to me swung over my head and I was 69ing with her.. (I guess if you add the two that were already sucking my balls, I would have been in a 87 position!
The ladies took turns pleasuring different parts of my “neathers” with their hands and mouths.. it was not too terrible long before that feeling, that uncontrollable feeling came over me.. and I came.. I came great gushes of hot fluid.. as I expelled this huge quantity of man gravy, I could feel each mouth in turn take a pull of my sweet nectar.
Faces lips and tongues were being rubbed all over my ejaculating hardness! It was like nothing I had ever experienced.. even since knowing Wednesday.. (boy let me tell you about her someday.. wowsers!)
I heard something electronic now that the action and the moaning and my screaming was over.. what was that whirring sound??
I could feel a warm cloth washing me clean.. when I heard in a whisper the voice of Edgar?? “Cut”.
One of the people in the room bent over to kiss me. From the smell of their hair I knew is was Wednesday.. the kiss was soft and wet and sweet.. and included a surprise.. a handcuff key!
Then just as quietly as they had came the invaders left.. without saying a word.
I lay there in the dark, feeling spent beyond all memory of spentitude.. panting a little wondering what the hell had just happened to me.. was that a drive by blowing?
After going over the episode in my mind a few times, I pulled the handcuff key out of my mouth with my free hand, unlocked first my wrist then my ankle..
I reached to where I had remembered the lamp being.. and turned the switch, “click” the room was bathed in light.
My clothes lay neatly folded with my Fedora placed carefully on top on the sink in the bathroom, I went to the mini bar, and poured the two small bottles of scotch over some ice I found in there.. I sipped my Johnny Walker Black and Red combination, lit up a smoke and slowly as I put my clothes back on.. something was fishy here, and surely wasn’t Wednesday’s sweet snatch which I had had the opportunity of sampling twice inside the last.. was it 24 hours?? .. “humm what day is it?” I wondered aloud.
And so we must leave our Hero.. Finally fully dressed sipping Scotch in plush surroundings.. be sure to tune in Next time for the exciting conclusion of
Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: The Tammy NYP Incident.
For those of you who would like to read a little “professional” erotica please check out the following selections, from Amazon.com
Duke Lacrosse Private Eye : The Tammy NYP Incident.. Part Nix, The Beginning of the End.
So after sucking down my Scotch and trying to figure out exactly what had just happened.. I went back to my office.
Wednesday’s chair sat there empty at the desk she normally sat at during the day, it seemed strangely empty here in my office without her.
I had to get my thoughts together, I had to figure out what was really going on.. I had to.. well I had to pee really bad.. so first things first, I went down he hall to the lav. , and drained the lizard.
As I said earlier, I do most of my best thinking in the lavatory, and today was no exception.
(Image courtosy http://www.iraatheatre.com.au/
It all came to me a great burst of inspiration. Tammy and Edgar and Ebony were all in on something that I was not. Now they had somehow drawn poor, sweet, innocent Wednesday into their deviant plan.. (okay maybe she wasn’t innocent, but damn it, it’s still my story). How was I going to find Edgar and Tammy and Ebony in this huge city? How was I going to get to the bottom of this?
Why not start at the beginning, back where Tammy and Edgar were first introduced to the world.. youtube and he world wide web! ?
So back to my office I sprinted.. a funny sight really, but that’s another story.
Past Wednesday’s empty desk and through the door to my office.. I fired up my trusty desktop and within a few moments was surfing.. surfing for the infamous Tammy NYP Sex Video Download.. no longer available at youtube, but available at several hundred places of lesser repute. I watched it, again and again, each scene, looking for the one clue.. that one clue that would bring insight to my semi pickled , hadn’t had enough scotch or coffee, what time is it anyway, mind.
Edgar, sure does pack some meat, for a skinny Asian kid, and Tammy, well that wasn’t the first time she has had one of those in her mouth.. I kept going over and over the part where Edgar sat the video phone down on it’s side to film them.. got a crick in my neck that is going to need physical therapy as a result.. then I saw it! I saw the one thing, that they hadn’t counted on me seeing.. I saw the business card.. that one little business card with it’s red logo.. it was only there for a split second, but due to a quick right click, I paused the action, and after zooming in on the action, I zoomed in on the card.. yep, just as I suspected… the card said … it all.
I was out of my office again, in a flash.. and down to the street I ran.. I tried to hail a cab, not knowing exactly where my ’39 was.. when I came to another realization.. it was late, late, late at night.
There was no way I could find Nix this late at night, I was sure somehow he was all curled up in his bed with visions of psychopathy dancing in his head.
So I did what any good old fashioned American man would do.. I went down to the local All Nude Review Strip club to toss down some suds, tell a few lies to the girls and think about how smart I am for finally figuring all of this out.
So concludes, the first part of the conclusion of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: The Tammy NYP Incident..
Be sure to tune in tomorrow for the continuation of the conclusion of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye.. Part Tex.. Tex.. who put This T in My Sex?
Speaking of Deviant Sex.. check out these selections.. from Amazon.com
Note the last one is Sex by Madonna.. you can;t get much more deviant that Madonna can you?
Everyone knew Nix.. he was the writer producer of all of those 30 second porn clips that were so popular on the web nowadays. He had written all the best known porn lines.. "Hit dat shit", "thow it in my azz", "I didn't know you had a twin sister" and of course perhaps most famously "Who's yo daddy", yes he had written them all.. most resently he had come onto the scene with a series of movie reviews on a website called Tomb of Anubis, where he had mixed his writing abilities (Hit dat shit = magic in my book) with his sense for good gore and overt sexual content.
In fact if you go right now to Tomb of Anubis, you can view his latest and greatest review piece.. (Nix that'll cost you a fiver)
His office was only six blocks away, so I decided to walk it this time (where is my fucking car?)
The big red sign in front read Nix-e-Clips and it confirmed my thoughts, it was his card I had seen in the Tammy NYP Video Download.
The front door was open so I invited myself in.. it was too early for the receptionist to be in, but I figured his office was the one upstairs. (Seeing how there was a sign that said Mr. Nix and an arrow that pointed up at the bottom of the staircase wall... I may be a private dick but I ain’t no Sherlock Holmes.) So up I went, the creaky steps I was sure would give me away, so I pulled my heater out, and proceeded without caution.. why be cautious when they know your coming I always said..
At the top of the stairs was a small poorly lit landing, and only one door, a great oak door, with a gold placard on it that simply read.. “Nix.”
I busted in.. throwing my shoulder into the door three times, before finally checking the knob.. it was not locked.. I felt like a heal, and my shoulder felt like squirrel under a tire on the highway…
Nix sat calmly at his desk.. despite my rather large and obviously angry bulk in his undamaged but thoroughly ran into door frame.. even the sight of my gun did not seem to shake him up..
“This is one cool cucumber Duke” I thought to myself.
“So where is she” I demanded “ Where’s the girl?” I sad sounding more shook up that I had wanted to..
“Come in, relax Mr. Lacrosse” he said cool as can be. He gestured towards a chair next to the desk. “Come have some coffee, and I will help you find, Tammy, or is it your girlfriend Ms. Wednesday that you are desiring? Come Mr. Lacross, there’s no need to be unfriendly” he grinned at me..
I wanted to smack that shit eating grin full off of his face, but he seemed willing enough to talk for now, and I had to wonder how he knew who I was looking for.. hell I wasn’t even sure if I still cared where that Tammy slut was, I was just concerned about Wednesday.. So I sat.... and asked for a Scotch
Then Nix, got up moved across the office, I kept my gun pointed full at him, and went to a coffee service set up on a table not too far from his desk. “Coffee Mr. Lacrosse?” he said that still to charming grin on his face..
“Yeah, sure, sweet and light.” I sad flatly.
“Just like your women.” He said , and that some-bitch had the gall to chortle a little at that.
He made coffee for both of us, and brought me mine, he looked down at my heater once, with a look of distain, and said’ You’ll find no need for that kind of gun here, Mr. Lacrosse, but if you feel better with it out.. so be it”.
Having not told a sex story of joke this whole part yet, I was anxious to get to business..
“So where’s Wednesday.” I demanded.
“She’s here , and waiting for you.” He said, moving to the large set of windows behind his desk. “Come Mr. Lacrosse, come see if you can find her.”
I went to the windows and stood beside my strange host. It was like I had seen in manufacturing plants, he had a full set of windows looking out over a “production floor”, only here, it wasn’t farm equipment they were producing, it was porn. There must have been 80 or 90 small sets, all with some sort of perverted action going on in front of a camera in them! No there was no farm equipment here, but there were some farm animals!!!
“That’s quite the operation you have going on here.” I said in amazement.. “How does she get her legs to do that” I then said pointing..
“Come Mr. Lacrosse, let me show you around”. Nix said now showing some interest.
We went out a door in the back of the office and down a flight of steps onto the “production floor” here Nix showed me the entire operation.. I committed all of it to memory thinking how much this was going to save me in porn rentals next month.. and of course looking for Wednesday in the fray.. at this point I would have settled for any sign of Wednesday, Tammy , Edgar, or Ebony, but after looking at the remake of Debbie Does Bangkok IV and The Farmer, his Daughter, and the Three Little Pigs, and Twins Part 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and The Kama Sutra, Ancient ways to Tie your Dick in Knots. (This one was an actual educational piece) I still felt no closer to finding anyone of the other players in this twisted tale.. but I was amazed at the scope of his operation..
"How many movies do you make here?" I had to ask.
"We make about 12,000 movies a year and closer to a million 30 second teaser clips" he said with a look of self love.
"I have seen some of your work" I said enthusiasticly
"Nearly every Male on the planet has seen and spanked to our work here." He said a real grin of self satisfaction across his face" We bring joy to million each year. Just look at what our little Tammy NYP shoot did.. it got a whole segment of the population talking about us."
My head was spinning, imagine all the wonderously naughty things that were happening all aound me.. (I would describe some of them here, but I decided I woudl let your fill in the blanks this time around) It took me a full minute to comprehend, the gravity of his last statement, "the Tammy NYP vido.. was done HERE?!?!? " I thought aloud.
"That's right Mr. Lacrosse. When it comes to internet porn these days, all roads lead here. This is why I was not suprised to see you." he said again too cooly for my liking.
That’s when we made it to the last set.. the red light over the door indicated that “filming” was underway.. slowly Nix turned the handle, and slowly me eyes grew accustom to the bright lights, and focused on……
So concludes this episode of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye.. The Tammy NYP Incident.
Here's some erotica for you, in case you missed it in this episode..
book links provided by amazon.com cause amazon don't just mean a tall woman in leather any more.
(photo thanks to Wikipedia)
The ever continuing conclusion of Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: The Tammy NYP Incident (Part 11).
When last we left Poor Duke Lacrosse Private Eye, he was in Nix's Porn Studio.. called Nix-e-Clips and it is here we pick up our story.
That’s when we made it to the last set.. the red light over the door indicated that “filming” was underway.. slowly Nix turned the handle, and slowly my eyes grew accustom to the bright lights, and focused on……
... focused on the scene within, it was a dame, with the shape of Wednesday, she was tied up in some sort of contraption and all covered in what looked liked paten leather.
All but the good parts that is.. I recognized her pert breasts from across the room.. I would never forget those nipples that had knocked me out.. and could put an eye out when temperature dropped below 40 degrees.
Then my eyes came to rest on the other two "slaves" both women judging from the breasts that lay exposed from there matching paten leather outfits.. all had masks, but judging from the small light breasts and large, too large darker skinned breasts I guessed these slaves to be Tammy and Ebony. And there in the middle of it all was Edgar! That son-of-a-bitch.. after that whack in the skull he gave me in part 8 (was it 8 see knocked me senseless) I had a bone to pick with him.. and it wasn't anything like that bone he had sticking out of his patent leather drawers..
I saw Red..
Nix put a restraining hand on my shoulder, and before I had a chance to knock the shit outta him he said "Wait Mr. Lacrosse.. you will want to see this.."
Tammy and Ebony were on there hands and knees, Edgar stood above them, a riding crop in his hand.. he smacked Tammy and then ebony hard on their tightly wrapped asses, each girl let out a little yip of pain when the blow was delivered.. then he reached down and firmly grabbed a handle on the top of Tammy's gag/mask.. he unzipped the mouth.. and puller her roughly onto his hard cock.. she sucked like a good little slave should.. then as roughly he pulled her away, and zipped her back up.. it was Ebony's turn now, and the same treatment was given to her.. a rough pulling of her masked head onto his long hard cock.. several hard fucks to her face.. so hard I think I heard the "pro" gag at one point, then as roughly he pushed her away and re-zipped the mask..
He then turned his attentions to Wednesday.. she was tied with her hands above her head.. masked and helpless.. he walked behind her, and I hear a "snap" of the riding crop as it dropped down hard on her exposed ass.. she jumped at the sting, but made not a sound..
I wanted to go to her, to save her, but then I felt the barrel of the heater Nix had pulled on me poke into my ribs..
"There there, Mr. Lacrosse, let's not do anything foolish..." He said just as cool as an ice cube slid across one of Wednesday's nipples on a hot summer's day..
I started to tense thinking I could take him.. but what good would I be dead on the floor of this porno pit? I relaxed and decided to enjoy the show..
and so end this portion of the continuing conclusion of Duke Lacrosse, The Tammy NYP Incident.
And now the Exciting Conclusion to Soft Core Porn Star and Private Eye Duke Larcosse:The Tammy NYP Incident. Part 12.. (well it’s white so it ain’t quite 12).
When last we were with our Private Dick Duke Lacrosse…
I started to tense thinking I could take him.. but what good would I be dead on the floor of this porno pit? I relaxed and decided to enjoy the show..
Edgar had worked his way behind Wednesday, and started to activate the device she was strapped to..
With her hands tied high above here head, and legs tied far apart to two portions of the “machine” she started to tilt back.. the machine was a sort of table as well as , from as far as I could tell a sort of kinky Rack like device..
Edgar smiled broadly as Wednesday was placed in to a tightly restrained supine position..
(As a foot note: this table was quite the little contraption, with a protrusion for each limb, that could be sized to the “wearer” the table moved up and down back and forth in circles and all four extremities could be moved through full range of motion with the touch of a button.. I could not help but think, that I need to get one of these.. can you iamgine the diner conversatiosn you could have over a table like this?!?!?)
Edgar then ordered Tammy, to “eat her”.. Tammy’s mask was removed by edgar, and her face was driven into Wedensday’s sweet spot.. Tammy was quite the willing participant, and judging form Wednesday’s squirming, and little muffeled gasps through her mask, quite good. Next it was Ebony’s turn to “torture” Wednesday.. again, the squirming and muled gasps told the full story.. Ebony was afterall a Pro in the porn business, and it was not long before Wednesday was calling out loudly.. as she did edgar unzipped and removed her mask.. Wednesday’s head was right at cock lever with Edgar.. and she leaned her head to the side so as to come eye to eye, with Edgar’s one eyed monster.. He moved in to give her access.. she bit out at it like an animal.. and only missed the tip by a matter of a fraction of an inch.. “Good girl” I thought to myself.
Just then I felt Nix’s hand dart into my jacket, he pulled my .45 from the holster and pointed it at me.. along with his own gun. “Go on Mr. Lacrosse, time to teach that bitch some manners!” I moved into camera shot..
Edgar stepped aside, to manipulate some of the buttons and switches on Wednesday’s table of torture, he pushed this and that button, her arms spread wide and the head support lowered, now Wednesday; was stretched slightly by another push of a button which brought her goodie bundle down slightly and arched her back.. she squeaked a little in either pain or joy? I could not tell which..
“Go on Lacrosse” Nix said as he shoved me roughly toward the head end of Wednesday..
There I was her head now even with my crotch.. Edgar took his riding crop and made small circles on Wednesday’s bare nipples and breasts.. she looked up at me with a look that is hard to describe, part terror, part desire.. I saw Nix motioning at me from just off camera with one of the guns.. he seemed to be telling me to remove my trousers.. I thought it best that I did.. and I did.. and no sooner had I wiggled my boxers off, than Wednesday’s mouth was on me.. she sucked me hard.. and I started to move myself in and out of her mouth.. this was the first time I had gotten head in this position, and it was wild.. her tongue lapped at the top of my stiffening cock, and I thought I could see her throat expand with each intake of my now fully errect meat..
Edgar, went to Tammy and again, forced her between Wednesday’s legs.. she dove in with great enthusiasm.. Edgar delivered a few sharp whacks with the riding crop to Tammy’s exposed ass, and this only seemed to drive her more insane with desire for Wednesday’s juices.. I could see it all from my vantage point, despite the bright studio lights in my eyes.. “I wonder if that camera is catching all of this?” I thought.. Edgar then got behind Tammy and thrust his Hungness into her.. she squealed with delight, and Wednesday seemed to get more turned on my the now rhythmic crashing of Tammy’s face into her wetness as Edgar thrust his meat home.. this of course drove Wednesday onto my meat.. I leaned down and grabbed Wednesdays small firm breasts in my hands, if I was going to go out of this world today, I was going to enjoy this ride.. I saw Ebony now, she climbed up onto Wednesday straddling her legs, her ass propped up for Edgar to see, he dove into it face first as he drove his meat into Tammy.. it was one hell of a pile up we had here..
I am not sure who came first, Wednesday, Tammy or Ebony, but in cascading moans , screams and squeals all three women were going off.. this drove me over the edge.. seeing how I was on film , I decided to do what any good old fashioned porn actor would do.. I pulled out, and gushed great strings of sticky fluid all over Wednesday.. covering her Leather outfit, her face, and breasts.. I can only assume Edgar followed suit shortly afterwards.. because soon there was just a quiet hum of relaxed satisfaction as all five of us moved slowly against each other in our previous positions.. this time it was Nix who said “Cut! That’s a wrap, thanks people!!, you were great!”
Edgar, Tammy and Ebony all stood, and in a line with Nix and the camera man, started to applaud???
“What the fuck?!?!” I said, not understanding or knowing what else to say..
I looked down at Wednesday, she had this big shit eating grin on her face.. like she was “in on something”.
I said :”Okay what’s the skinny?” down to her..
She looked up ant me and said simply.. “Happy Birthday Duke., help me get this get-up off.”
I stood dumbstruck!
Edgar, Tammy, Nix and Ebony all started untying Wednesday, I still stood dumb struck..
“It was a gag Duke! A trick. You always said you wanted to be a porn star, and well, now you are.” Wednesday said.
I stood dumbstruck.
“I set it up with Nix months ago. He just happened to know our three co-stars, and thought it would be a hoot, and make for a pretty good amateur porn. The rest was easy.”
“What about the Knockout drops? The gun shot at the Theater? The kick that asshole delivered to my melon?” I said now glaring at Edgar..
“Well, the knockout drops.. they were for real.. sorry.” Wednesday said a little sheepishly. “the gun shot was an unfortunate coincident , Singapore is a dangerous place, and well with a face like yours…” She tailed off smiling..
“And as for the kick in the head… well duke, we had to make it feel real to you or what fun would there have been.. I am sorry that you get knocked out, I was only trying to knock you down so we could tie you up.. I am really sorry about that.” Edgar said coming over to shake my hand.. having seen what he had been holding a few moments earlier, and the fact that it was still out and hanging, I waived off his hand and gave him a nod and a smile instead..
“Yep, your Ms. Wednesday came to me with the whole idea, front to back. “ Nix then injected. “We should clear a few hundred thousand on the last scene alone.” He said coming over and patting me on the back and handing me my .45 back.
“I could’ a shot you” I said to him.
“Nope.” Wednesday said cheerily” I replaced all your bullets with blanks and dummies.”
“Shootin blanks.. never thought I would say that with a grin” I said..
Nix assured me that I would get a first cut copy, for my porn collection, and royalty checks as soon as the production portion was over, and we went to distribution.. Wednesday and I went back to my place.. and made love well into the night..
I never did see or hear about Tammy NYP or Edgar again, it’s too bad you suckers here on this blog won’t be so lucky..
And Wednesday and I , well we didn’t live exactly happily ever after but that’s another story for another day..
So concludes, Duke Lacrosse Private Eye: The Tammy NYP Incident.
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