Friday, December 30, 2005

a few random thoughts to end the year on?

Here are a few random thoughts to end the year on..

I wonder if Nix will ever get off his duff and watch Darkness Falls.. I made him wait for the All That Jazz Dueling Review, so I guess I will cut him some slack..

I wonder if I will be making a “living” off of my various web projects? I wonder if I will care if I do, come the end of next year.

I can’t believe that this is 2005! And now will be 2006! Where does the time go?
I was talking to an old friend, and back nearly 16 years ago, we had not seen each other in 4 years, and when we did it seemed like we had been apart a lifetime, even though it had only been 4 years. Now 4 years goes by so fast, I feel it takes me longer than 4 years to make up my mind on most things.
So it has been 16 or so years, I feel like a complete ass for loosing touch with that person.. and am happy we have “communication” again.

I have gotten back in touch with a lot of people from my past over the last few months. It somehow makes me feel more “whole”. To all of you.. many kisses, hugs, or just a good old fashioned chuck on the shoulder.. you pick.. it’s all good.

I saw “Minority Report” last night.. what a piece of crap! I had forgotten how much I disliked that movie.. Tom Cruise is a tool. The flying cop chase scene was stupid, and all in all the movie left you feeling like you had just been kissed.. by your sister.. the one with the mole.

Travel is coming soon, I love to travel. This will be the first time I have traveled for business and brought my wife… I hope she behaves.. I would hate to leave her 10,000 miles from home. (not really)

Everyone, that is “proud to be an American” should go to Europe, and watch the news.
It always amazes me how two people (countries) can look at the same event (thing) and see completely different things.

I do not believe that there is a conspiracy within out government, none of the government gets along with each other well enough to plan anything bigger than a picnic, and I doubt anyof them are bright enough to plan much further ahead than the ends of their noses. We are being screwed by stupidity and lack of forethought. Not Malice.

“Never ascribe to malice, what can be more easily explained by incompetence.” (I think Voltaire said that.. it fits our government and should be made a part of the new Federal Seal.)

New Years Eve. I hope to have a few friends by, and also hope that my family leave before they get drunk enough to want to fight. With luck it will be like Christmas, all the fighting took place after everyone left.

I have a few new bottles of Absinth, actually three new to me types and two bottles that I have already reviewed. I am truly hoping to have a few with a good friend while we talk politics, medicine, physics and the like.. I love the heady talks we have. My wife however gets pissed when I talk over her, and swears I am doing it only to make her feel “stupid”. I wish she would get a friend of her own when that happens.

I wonder if my marriage will make it through 2006. Not that I am afraid it will not, or even hope it will or will not, I am just wondering.

(I don’t think I care either way really)

The thought (quote) of the day sure seemed to end quickly.. I must have quit thinking? Does anyone really read a blog with a “quote of the day”?

I miss listening to Books on Tape when I drive. I spend nearly 1.5 hours a day going back and forth to work. You can get a lot of books in with 3 hours a day dedicated to listening or reading.

I tried reading in bed, but my wife will not stop talking .. as long as the lights are on, from morning until night, and for the first 30 minutes after the lights go out, she feels compelled to fill the air with chatter. (I hate that)

Politics: I can tell you now that the next year will be a true circus for American politics. With luck we will not kill or harm too many people over the course of the next 12 months, and in the end everyone will be able to look back and ask “What were we thinking?”

Domestic spying: I have a hard time believing that it is that uncommon. Perhaps this is why nobody in the general public is making a big deal about it? Everyone is just going // So? Lets face it, we are on camera all of the time, you can’t drive down the highway without a camera on you, you can’t enter a store.. or use an ATM etc etc.. it is a little like G. Orwell’s 1984 just a couple of decades later. (You could if you were into suck things, also believe that the mind control through drugs is being done with Anti-depressants, fluoridated water, whatever, the war of good vs. evil, the Iraq conflict.. the parallels with the use of a little imagination are creepy)

Okay, will Dick Clark will not be counting down the ball drop.. so I will not be watching. I will be instead perhaps sleeping at midnight? One never knows.

In any event.. everyone have a safe and happy new years eve. And remember if one of you is wearing a condom it’s not really cheating.. cause nothing is really touching!

Farris Hassan! What a nutcase? What a pair of nuts?

Okay I awoke to stories of Farris Hassan, and though this kid is fuckin' nuts!
Here is a littel blog entry from somone else that about sums it up
see blog

Then if I think back to my semi-miss-spent youth, I seem to remember myself as being a bit of a "crusader" with huge aspirations for self greatness, and a stupid sence of invulnerability. So put into perspective, I ahve to say that Farris is first off, "creative".

Perhpas if given the same situation, I would have tried it too.

Farris, you got one hellofa' pair a balls! It is good that you are safe. Any fame or fortune that comes your way as a resuly of this increadbly brave, and semi-stupid adventure is well earned.

Farris Hassan I salute you!

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Blogging for blogging's sake.

I can’t think of a thing to write..
So bugger off..& come back again soon.

I got a case of Nixeclipsosis.. and don't you wish I would spell check?

That's right, I have self diagnosed myself with Nixeclipsosis.. I have been two nights now where I was looking at the clock more than my eyelids! I am on about 3 or 4 hours of sleep right now.. and feel like poop!

Why is it at 3 I could not sleep, but I could fall right back into a coma if I lied back down now? WTF???

I think Nix somehow managed to give me this illness.. and I am calling out the Spanish Inquisition to look into it! (Along with a troupe of Llamas a pair of trout, and a flying pygmy marmoset I met in a bar in East Kinslington a few years back!)

Secondly.. I know I was fucking nutters a few days ago, but looking back at those posts from the withdrawal addled brain, I just have to ask myself.. "Don't you wish I used spell check?" Of course my answer to that is, first it would make the title of this blog seem rather silly, and secondly BUGGER OFF! If you can;t handle a little creative typing, go read a book!

Okay, that about sums up how I feel right now.. so off to work I go.. I hope I can get a little nap in while I drive in today.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

antidepressans have me depressed part II

Well after long contemplation and against dr's orders, I started takign the luvox again last night.. it may be partial psycological, but today I feel a lot better.. my skin is not as crawly and I dont; want to yell at people..
I still woudl like to get off all of this shit.. but fear the withdrawl.. perhpas at some time in the future, I wil be better suited to try getting off again.. like if I have no job, and am on a desert island alone with no sharp things..

There has to be an easier way to get off this crap.. but I do not think my Dr. knows what that is.. and I have too much at stake to risk an embarrasing explosion at a boss or co-worker.. especialy without good cause, and I tell you in the last week and a half that has been a very tempting proposal..

They say that this stuff is not addicting, I say that they are full of crap.. and have never tried to get off of one of their drugs after a few years of use.
I hate.. let me rephrase that .. FUCKING HATE! being addicted to anyting, and I blem the drug companes, and to a lesser degre the medical community for making it so easy to get hooked on this shit.

The way I see it, I should have never been put on any antidepressant in the first place, but if I was I should ahve been taken off of it as soon as things setteled down.. I feel like I was put on an addicting substance and then forgotten.. the medical community woudl never think of doing this with a opiate.. but feels no shame in doing it with an anti-depressant. That's just wrong.

Well today looks like it will be better than yesterday.. I ahve one and a half luvox on board, and am tired but not nutters.. I will now go to work and forget what I am doing.. fucking shit.

Should be too bust to breath today, so for now wish me well..

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Lions, and Tigers and Prozac oh my! Antidepressants have me depressed!

About 10 years ago , I was placed on an Anti-depressant med, because I was going through a messy divorce, and well quite frankly I was not sure I could live without her.. (I said this in front of the right person, and whammo.. on anti-depressants I go)

So fast forward a couple of years.. I started on some med, changed to another due to side effects.. I can’t remember which ones, but some unpleasant thing was happening.. I have taken Luvox, Paxil, Prozac, and Zyban (perhaps another, I don’t remember) and usually took the generic of each.. I can’t remember their names right now either, and I don’t feel like looking them up for you.. :-P

In the last year, I have been taking the generic for Luvox.. as a result I have started to loose my memory, and suffer from sever fatigue, and (blush) have lost a good portion of my sex drive. (I know it does not seem like it when you read this blog, but trust me.. it ain’t here like it once was)

There is a possibility that I have another undiagnosed medical issue, I am having thyroid and sugar ,and damn near every other thing being checked, results due soon.

But I did not bring you here to tell you that..

What I brought you here for is this.

As part of trying to overcome this fatigue, my physician decided that I should get off of Luvox, and start on Wellbutron (zyban).

For one week, I took one wellbutron, and one half of a luvox.
They say that these medications are not addicting.. I say FUCK YOU! For the last week + a couple of days, my skin has been crawling, I am super fucking irritable, and I can’t sleep.
After one week, stop taking luvox all together and take one wellbutron for one week, then up to two.

So two days ago, I stopped taking Luvox.. last night at 12:00 I woke up, with a craving.. a sever craving.. I thought it was for a cigarette, it was not. I smoked about 6 of them, trying to get this skin crawling, bugging out anxiety wanna fucking kill something bullshit to subside. (It did not)

All day today, I have been super edgy.. I mean my wife called.. (okay I don’t; get along with her all that well, but usually I can stay civil regardless of what is going on) She asked me a simple question, and I ex-fucking-ploded! I screamed at her.. then I started to fucking cry, then I wanted to go jump off the top of the building, because I felt so bad! (I didn’t do it.. so fuck off if you think I need to be committed or some such shit)

My pont is this, if I do nto do something about this withdrawal, I will loose my job. I cannot think, I cannot remember wha I am doing, my head is fucking spinning, I feel like I want to puke, and shit all at once, and I want to hurt something. (I ain’t gonna hurt nothing, so fuckoff again)

What a cock-sucker this shit is, Here I am 10 years out from my “emotional trauma” and I can’t get off this shit.
Because the medical community all agrees it is not addicting, I can’t get any help from my insurance carrier, should I decide I do need to go into rehab for it.. you can’t go into rehab for something that the pharmaceutical industry makes several billion dollars a year from apparently. (FUCKING COCK SUCKERS!)

(Bad news, even if I could go into treatment for it, I would loose my job.. they do not have much mercy on people who have genuine illness, much less “addiction”.. muthafuckers!)

So I guess, that I like so many people, is just plain screwed! Screwed by the medical community, the pharmaceutical companies, and the FDA.. Tonight I will start taking luvox again, because I cannot stand not to. I guess that makes it addicting, huh.. not according to Uncle Sam and the mutha-fuckers that are making huge bank from this.

I feel like I am being ass-raped, and the only lube being used is sand.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUFK FUFOP:”IYTEW ilutregy43qbo8t43 1oi;3wnt32c t432 t432 p]\5:11 PM

Monday, December 26, 2005

Online dating, a few thoughts.

Online dating, a few thoughts.

Online dating, yep, you know all about it.. don’t try to say you don’t.
You meet someone online, you chat, swap pictures, chat a little more, maybe an email or two.. then you go meet that person. You fall deeply in love, and you have a herd of kids and live happily ever after.

Well maybe not.
We have all heard about the cases where sexual predators stalk the unaware online, and then abuse them upon meeting.
This has been going on since the dawn of time, but the internet makes it just that much easier.

This article is not about the perverts and child abusers out there, but is about the people who are “lonely of heart”.

There are TONS of hook up online dating sites.
An incomplete list looks something like this.

Yahoo personals
Adult Friend Finder
Wild Thing
Etc. etc..

Have I ever tried to meet someone online using one of these services?? Maybe??

I think that the best in the bunch are because it is FREE, and you can look for anything form a one night stand to a soul mate, and if you have been surfing for long you have seen the ads for Adult Friend Finder.

The thing I find most interesting about online dating is that you can stop taling with a person you do not like, adn never have to worry about the face to face rejection of a typical dating experience. You can just say, I don;t think this will work, and move on.

Surfing the profiles will give you some degree of feel for the person, you will still have to invest a littel time in getting to know thm. Sure ther eare people out there with completely inaccurate profiles, but I have seen a lot of people lie in face to face dating situations too, so you take your chances either way.

I feel that you have a little more control over things with online dating that in a bar or other typical pick up scene. You can take the time needed to see if the person you are thinking of going out with is a nut or not. (Well better than at a bar anyway)

So I say, YES! Online dating big plus to the internet.
(And you can always cyber a little if things get too boring.)

Below are links to all sorts of dating sites, go ahead give them all a try! Whatta ya got to loose?

Soulmatch’s 7-day FREE trial

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My boss sucks monkey nuts!

My Boss Sucks Monkey Nuts.

No it is really true.. I walked into the office the other day, and found him sucking on a pair of monkey nuts! What made this worse is he was humming a merry fucking tune while he did it!

I hope that he does not go to see King Kong, and it may be too much for his Monkey Nut sucking azz to stand!

I heard him say one that he likes chocolate covered monkey nuts! And loves Monkey Nut Butter!

Me, I like monkey nuts, but you won't catch me sucking a pair here at work! Or humming while I do it!

I have a friend that swears she is allergic to Monkey Nuts says that she was almost sent to the hospital because her throat started to swell after eating something , I think it was Thai food, with Monkey Nuts in it.

people who are allergic to Monkey Nuts have been known to die, even if only swapping a little spit with someone who has just sucked some monkey nuts.
If you know that you are allergic to Monkey Nuts you should be aware that many restaurants, especial Thai and Chinese use Monkey Nuts regularly, and as such you should always ask if your food contains Monkey Nuts of oil derived from monkey nuts.

I make a really Killer Monkey Nut Sauce, it is salty and sweet, just like you would expect a hot nut sauce to be.

I have posted the recipe here.. Read it and weep..
(you perverts)

Stealing Swifty's review.. King Kong!

I am out and out stealing this review from Swifty.
I think he did a good job at the review.. and I have yet to get Nix to go see it..
(My evil plan.. make other people watch movies, so I don't have to.. like reading the Cliff Notes.. who needs the book?)
Actually I have read a bit of swifty's stuff, and he is alright in my book. (Just don;t tell him I said so. can;t go giving him a big head.. )

So Read the review and check out swifty's site..

King Kong Saw King Kong yesterday on Christmas. I agree with Roger Ebert's review (and most other US critics') . This is one of the best films of the year.
I had my doubts with the film when I first saw the trailer (the one that came with 'War of the Worlds').
It looked nothing more than some generic loud, special-effects heavy blockbuster. If it weren't directed by Peter Jackson, I wouldn't even have ANY EXPECTATIONS of the film AT ALL.

(After all, we all know the story, filmmaker and his crew found big ass gorilla, took him back to New York, big ass gorilla escaped, climbed onto Empire State Building with screaming woman.

Big ass gorilla got shot, and fell to his death.
The end.
Baboom. Yawn.)

I was wrong.I'll never, EVER, doubt Peter Jackson again.
My god, what a mindblowing job he had done with King Kong.

"What do you think?" My friend, Sebastian, asked after we finished the film.

"Spectacular." I said.
I couldn't think of any other words to describe it.
Yes, it was a bit too long.
And yes, like Sebastian said, there were too many longing looks between King Kong and Ann (a splendid Naomi Watts who made the forgettable Ring 2 entirely forgotten. She is forgiven), but still, it was dramatic.
The film's an epic masterpiece.
Everything in it works, the drama, the action, the thrills, the romance etc.

The characters here are people you care for, even if they aren't, you'll still feel that they are real people, something you seldom feel in most big-budget Hollywood films.
I'm not going to analyze each and every single actor and tell you how I feel about their acting, after what I said in the previous sentence, you should know already.

The major action scenes were just insane.
The ones in Skull island. King Kong vs the three T.Rexes, the stampeding Brontosauruses, those icky slimy thingies that appeared after the stampede.
I was already 'whoa'ing at them (something I've ceased doing these days).
And the ones in the beautiful 1930s New York.
To see King Kong running around, jumping from one skyscraper to another, him breaking things up, wrecking cars, tearing buildings apart, I was STUNNED! BLOWN AWAY!

But like I said, it's not just about the action. It's dramatic and poetic too.

It's totally Oscar material. (Although I wonder whether it'll have any chance based on its Golden Globe snub.
It should, since it's winning quite a number of awards from those US critics associations)
Argh, enough with it.
Go see this film now.
Oh, and the trailer doesn't do the film justice.
Many of the less than impressive looking parts in the trailer aren't actually in the film itself.


DeRex Says: "At's a big fuckin monkey!
Tags: , , , , ,

The Great Swifty Speaketh!: Swifty Reviews 'Zathura', Zhang Yimou's 'Riding Alone For Thousands Of Miles' and 'King Kong'#links

Well little Timmy..(aka Nix) Swifty beat us both to Kong!
You know how I feel about movie theators.. so I leave it up to you to watch King Kong, tell me how wonderful it is and how much or a sorry turd I am for not seeing it on the big-screen.

To which I will shake my big member at you and fart on your aunties.. but that's another movie for another day.

So Nixie old pal.. I blow my nose at you.. you silly English animal food trough wiper!

10 reasons why I am no longer proud to be an American.

I stumbled across, what I think is an important and powerful look at the US.

(From an expatriot living in Belgium)
Weather you agree or disagree, you have to open your eyes to the preception we have abroad.
Click here to see the 10 reasons.

a cyber christmas / holiday gift from me to you.

Yes here it is, your cyber fruit cake!
Feel free to regift it, by passing this link on to a friend or foe.

All I know is I want it back next year!
My father and I once snet the same fruit cake back and forth for three years running.

(I think in the fourth year, he got the munchies, and ate it.. but he will never admit to it.)

Random thoughts random spellings (Reviews of life): a cyber christmas / holiday gift from me to you.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas.. to all, and to all a good night..

Okay no secret.. I don;t have much "Christmas Spirit"
But last night with the boys their wives and girlfriends, and all of the kids (grandchildren.. yikes) was not bad..

I am still feeling "off" dur to a change in medication. but that did not seem to slow me much, I took a lovely little nap between 3 and 5 and upon waking had a pounding headache.. so it was good pratice for when all the Vikings were over. (I have decided that the boys are the Viking raiders, featured in the Capitol One comercials, it's easier to deal with them if you just see them as lost Warring Noris Scumbags.. actually leads to some interesting mind-visuals)

SO anyway, they started shwoing up at 5 and trickled in until 7 or so.. 4 boys, two wives, two gilrfriends, an Uncle, and 7 children ranging in age from 12 down to 1. Yep housefull!

It has become tradition that I play Santa.. funny.. pegan santa?
I have a santa suit.. with a bad beard adn even worse wig.. all of the presents for the kinds were in the basement, as was the santa suit.. I went down doned the suit, snuk out the side door, and made an entrance.. it is actually very nice to see all of the kids eyes light up upon the entrance of the great Santa.. I handed out presents 4 to each.. and exited.. lots of ho ho hos along the way.

The 9 and 12 year old boys, still believe in Santa, or claim to.. I told the 12 year old last year, to keep believeing as it meant extra presents.. hell I thought that was his "angle" .. wouldn;t suprise me if it was.

I stopped believing at age 6.. when I cought my parents wrapping things, that were from santa the following day.. I spoke up.. soulda kept my mouth shut.. santa brough all the cool stuff.. parents bought me clothing.. afer the :great revelation" I got mostly clothes from then on out.

Anyway back to the night's festivites..
What do you get 4 viking warriors, and there wives?

Well I don;t know either.. so I play a little game..

I went to the store (a large store like a super wallmart but different) I grabbed random things, some good some bad, some outright silly.. then I take them back home, wrap them in three groups.. male, female and anyone.. the male stuff, was decks of cards,, motor oil.. tools..etc. Th eGirls, picture frames, bath salts, yada yada.. the miscelanous, (my favotire group) Hot sauce, flashlights, lottory tickets, and of course a cocoanut. (Every year somone gets a coacoanut from me.. I don;t know why.. it's a python thing I think.. look up migratory cocoanuts, european swallows,a dn air speed velocity if you don;t believe me)
Then each present gets a playing card attached.. the three groups are split up.. girls, boys, everyone.. then the gilrs draw cards form one of the decks.. and go get their present.. you have to guess what the present is.. of draw a deed from the envelope of bad deeds.. if you don;t guess you have to preform the stunt on the paper you drew.. these ranged from sing the star spangled banner, to take me out to dinner...
It keeps everyone laughing and busy, so ther eis little time to argue and fight.

Then when all the presents were dispenced, and guessed or not and all bad deeds done.. the boys left taking or leaving wives behind, to play hold 'em at the youngest sons house, ther ethey drank too much and got into fistfights with eachother, and in one case, a husband and wife wet at eachother, but it was not in my house.. score this a win!

I had fun, but I noticed somthing alarming.. I get anxiety (kinda severe) when I know they are all coming.. I think that this anxiety may be turning into general social anxiety.. as I somtimes ahve a hard time talking with people I don;t know, in a face to face situation, I start to fidgit, notice I can;t look them in the eye.. perhpas this will be somthing to work on.. (blogs are great for self analysis arent they?)

Okay now the admissions part of this post.. most people have stopped reading and gone on by now, so I dont; feel bad sharing with you the die hard reader..

My step sons, all have extreamly hot wives.. I did think inpure thoughts more than once... about them each individualy, and once about all of them collectivly.. heheheh..

I was wonding if next year, after the children have all left, if naked oil coverd twister could not be the game to get your presents with.. of course I will ahve to send my wife to europe for christmas, and stay behind to take care of business to do this.. (okay it is a rediculous thought, but let me revel in my imagination won;t you)
yes in deedy.. the naughty little girls each nekkid .. twister.. oil.. (okay I feel better now)

(for those of you that do not know, the "girls" range in age from 22 to 30.. )

Well. I am off to my christian grandmothers, house now.. I love this lady, she took a great part in my "raising" she is 84 now.. and is starting to show some miles.. I may not have another christmas with her.. but I may have several, so I ain;t dweeling on it.. THis will be a tuly peaceful afternoon.. I like that.


Now all I have to do is get through New Year's Eve without a brawl in the house, and another holiday season will be behind me..

Sorry no time to speel check, so you will have to live with the typos..

For those of you, who know me, I love you all.
For those of you who don;t know me but I will grow to know.. I love you long time.
For those of you who I will never know.. bugger off.

Look Swifty is back..

The Great Swifty Speaketh!: Swifty's Video Blog Entry: China Vacation Day 1#links

Yes he survived his trip to China.. (fucker)
No he is not complaining of a stomach ailment.. (yet.. some parisites take up to 4 years to fully mature)
Only problem with traveling to forighn lands.. they got ways to give you the shits, that there are not words for yet.

So swifty, what did you get me?
(I bet you will here that a few times.. but I wanted to be first)

Just tell them you got them the same thing you got DeRex.

Party on, you film making freak..
oh Yea? So where is the porn?
(That's film to you know?)

A funny little "pass it on" Merry Christmas, Happy Chanuka, Kwanza, Yuel, Saturnalia, Ramadan, etc. etc..


1. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

2. You have a list of 10 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

3. You e-mail the person who lives in the house next door.

4. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

5. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.

6. You learn about your redundancy on the 10 o'clock news.

7. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.

8. You pull up in your own driveway and use your mobile phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

10. Leaving the house without your mobile phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

11. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

Friday, December 23, 2005



Okay.. I was an early wanker. I was 10..
I remember the first time it added up to something.. my parents, and a couple that were friends with them were sitting on the back patio near the pool.
The couple, had with them their daughter.. she was older than me.. maybe 14??

I peeked out my window.. at her body wet with pool water.. and went to rubbin’ one out.
When something “happened” I was astonished!

For the next 5 or 6 years, (okay 10 .. 10 fucking years) I wanked at least once a day! (That’s a lot of pullin’ pork!)

I wish I could remember her name? Is that strange? I somehow feel a little empty, not knowing the name of the girl who I had my first nut to.

Now.. hell .. I just don’t have the interest.
Perhaps it is because I wanked SOOOOOOOO much when I was younger?

I admit I grind one out on rare occasion.. usually to some good quality internet porn.. but it is only a couple of times a year.

I had a friend who posted an article to his website.. stating all of the places and ways he had beat his beef into submission..
I thought I had a twisted history of man-handling myself.. this fucker wanked in an airplane! On a bus.. in a house, with a mouse, he wanked here and there, he pulled his stuff damn-near everywhere!

So anyone got a few good stories?

Nix was masturbated by a complete stranger.. I was once.. in a fast food restaurant.. by the girl working the window! She did more than bring my fires out to me that day!
How’s that for service!
(before any of you buggers has a hissy.. it was the end of her shift.. so she did not handle food after pounding the gopher for me!)


Intelligent design vs Evolution.. sorta.

With Inteligent Design at the top of everyone's mind, I thought I would re-run these two posts.. I am sure that you will find a point of view that you agree with in one of the two.. or maybe not.
However, I believe that either of the two theories offered below has as much validity as any other that is or will be taught in public shcools, now or in the foreseeable future.
As such, I feel that it is each adn every one of you's duties, to demand that they are both taught in the public shcools her ein the good ol' U.S. of A.

Once upon a time, there was an extremely intelligent species of being from a planet far far away.. while exploring the galaxy, they stopped at this little planet, three planets out from a small yellow star, in the lower left hand corner of their map.. the planet was nice, it had abundant water, and plants and animals, but no truly intelligent beings.. so the aliens being the highly intelligent beings that they were decided, that they would create man.

Man was created by using the DNA of a chimpanzee, a pinch of salt, and something that the Alien Lt. Grock, made in his galactic still..

Man was made, and for years, the aliens used man as their favorite pets, while they were here on Earth.. then after a while, the aliens had to get about exploring the rest of he galaxy and left.. taking all of their pets with them.. except a couple that had escaped from the starship Eden.. These two naughty little 90% monkeys were called Adam and Eve.. Adam Chimpman and Eve Chimpman were very naughty.. and bred.. they had a son named Cain and one named Able.. Cain killed Able, and that should have been the end of the story.. but it was not.. seems that one Alien missed is pet monkey enough to try and come back and look for him.. he searched and searched for Adam.. but while searching his other monkeys ran away.. as the Master alien was not very nice, and liked to swat his monkey’s on the nose with a news paper whenever they made “mess” in the spaceship.. so the population of earth went from Adam and Eve and Cain to Adam, Eve, Cain, Spot, Fiddo, Fluffy, and Miss Mittens.. and Adam begot Miss Mittens, and Eve Begot Spot to get even and Fiddo Begot Cain, and Fluffy and Miss Mittens and tried to Begot Adam too, but Adam was “not that way” and Eve and Adam made up and begot each other, and their sons and daughters begot the offspring of the others and the next thing you know there were nearly 2 billion Chinese.

Later about year 1 the master sent his son to go check on the monkeys.. and the rest is biblical history.

Alternately once upon a time..

Once upon a time, there was a planet named Earth.. earth had everything a home could require.. food, water, air.. you know all the regular stuff..

It also had a species of being that had ascended from Monkeys named Neanderthal.

Neanderthal was very intelligent for a monkey.. and life was good for him..

Then one day a group of beings from outerspace on a three hour tour crashed landed here on planet earth..

There was the Skipper
The First Mate
The Millionare
And his Wife
The Movie Star
The Professor
And Marry Anne..

And they were confused and dumbfounded by Neanderthal..

They had many zany adventurers, where the Neanderthals would run away with the Movie star and Mary Anne and make “zub-zub” in a nearby cave..

Being that they (the two races) were both descendants of an earlier Space Traveling Monkey Race they made babies..
and ecause Neanderthal had a better moral compass than anyone of the seven he decided that in the spirit of doing the right thing, he would marry Young Mary Anne, who he really had the hots for even though the Movie Star was the more "Sexed" of the two..

And everything went smashingly.. until the Australopithecines showed up at the reception and after drinking too much Cocoanut beer that the professor brewed up, from the open bar started to argue and fight with the other guests.

But after a while the leader of the Australopithecines a big ugly one named Humphrey passed out and the rest of the night was spent dancing and mary making to the sounds of Cool and the Gang.

Fast forward a few 10’s of thousands of years and you have today.. I am sure that we can all see the traits of those seven stranded castaways in our friends and relatives.. its just too bad we did not get rid of our creepy monkey eyes along the way..

Get "THE" book on I.D. here

For another version of the ID theory see

Slarty Bartfast has never been so close to superfame!.. not even with the Fjord Award.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

HEy found another one!

I have a friend.. yes I have one.

I lost touch with him in the summer, when his job was cut (due to the need to pay for the gulf war)
So he has had a couple of minor meical things.. I was worried.. but like the dick that I am I put off contacting him, even though I knew his email would soon be no good.. so I send an email.. it bounces back. I say I am going to call.. I do not for a while.. when I do disconnected! FUCK!!!!

Then yesterday I recieved a christmas card from him.. he is in Nome Alaska. I sent him an email this morning, he sent one back..
He is doing well has a big important job.. (he's a psycologist.. but about the best human being I know.. not that those are opposed conditions.. being human being psycologist..) It is just htat he is brilliant, and still so kind.. most brilliant and well educated people I know are well wropped un in themselves.. not that they are bad people, but that they do nto go out of their way to let you know they care about you.. he is perhpas the most caring soul I have ever met.. )

(I think he likes me , because I am 50% caring, 50% dickhead.)

But I digress..
This year end has been a wonderful one, for finding lost friends. Persons lost are found, all are well.. what more could you ask for than to know that the poeple you love, are doing okay?

Shit, I am getting ve'clempt. (sp)

You know Nix old buddy old pal, maybe life isn;t just a big shit sandwich?
As long as you keep those you love close?

Hell Nix give yorself a hug from me.
(not a gay hug though, that's just creepy)

And for my other lost and now found friends.. I really do love you all.. I even lust for oen or two.. (you know who you are). Thank you, for making this a christmas that does not suck!

Or Saturnalia.. You know this is the first year I have said I am celebrating Saturnalia, maybe that's the trick.

Festuvus last year was a real drag.. well after the bearing of grivences that is.

So could an Anchient Roman God be the source for my good fortune? Hey C where is Satrun ? Wonder if it is in my house?

As long as I don't have a saturn in my garrage, life is good.

Kisses and hugs to all.. and if you are really good looking (and you know who you are) kisses in all those special places for you.. :-*

Look to Wikepedia for Saturnalia.

Happy Saturnalia to all and to all a good night.

Forgive me father for I have sinned..

Forgive me father for I have sinned.. it has been (um hm) years since my last confession..

Oh I so want to tell you all a story.. on of mystery, intrigue, and sex… but honestly the person I would be talking about may read this blog, and would shoot me for thinking such naughty things about her. (or maybe not..)

As promised, this will be about soul mates..
I am not sure I get the whole soul mate thing.. I think really all you need is someone that appreciates you for who you are, and will love you , even if you never change. You in turn need to love that person, and hope that they never change a thing..

Too many times I have seen people “fall in love” and then go about trying to change all sorts of shit about the other person. Well I got news, you do not love that person, you love your ideal of what that person could be, and it is not fair.. and quite frankly it sucks, if you are the person who is always being told you need to change this that and the other thing.

I actually believe, that it is the person who is always suggesting that the other needs to change that is looking for change in themselves. It is just easier to hate something in someone else, than to accept that there are parts of you that you do not like.

(I will leave the case in point to your imaginations)

Secondly, if there is something about someone , you cannot “live with” tell the right away! Don’t wait 6 years to bring it up.. and then bail on them when they cannot change that part of themselves without effecting other things that you like..

People (and their spiritual/emotional make-ups) are like an open bowl of liquid. If you alter one part, all parts are subtly changed. It is when you can say to yourself, that this person needs not to change, that they are as perfect as they can be and as close to perfection as I want them to be, that you can love them. For change one thing, take one speck of debris off of the surface, and the whole being is affected by the ripples.

I have heard that in order to love, you must first love yourself, this could be the reason why. I have seen way too many times when one part of a couple were so unhappy with themselves, that they tried to change their partner, to better reflect the perfection that they themselves could not attain.

“To thine own self be true…”
makes sense in this context.

True Love: Yes, I believe it is obtainable, but both partners must be capable of the experience for either to have it. (For any duration) So if like me, love has always been at arms length, look first inwardly, then outwardly, and understand that it is not all your fault when shit falls apart.. unless of course you are a dick.. then well .. you got what you had coming.. (not really)

Dicks need love too.

Shit, I have officially run out of time to talk with you.. so nuff for now.. Yabbos yabbos…

interesting stats.. Reena Vasquez is #1 kinda.

my most popular post so far..
Random thoughts random spellings (Reviews of life): Where in the world is Daphne Teo.. hanging with carmen diego? And Hottest bloggerette update

The number one search term that people find this blog from google..
"Reena Vasquez"
Second most popular
"Reena Vasquez naked" (with or without the word "photos")

You people are perverts.. and I am damn glad to know ya!

Does Reena Vasquez have nekkid pictures out there on the web?
Not that I want to see them, it would be for purely scientific purposes, should on of you post a link to them in the comments,and I happen to go look at them..

just like Fae Ray and King Kong..


I am sure that everyone has a soulmate.. why not look for yours.. Nix this means you too!
I promise to post somthing on CyberDating here soon.. come bnack

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

An honest discussion on Love and Sex.

On Sex and Love.

I write this for someone who is special to me.. in a “I would feel honored to be smacked upside the head by him” way. You know who you are.

Love: Love is an emotional thing, not a real tangible commodity nor a physical , bodily function. While it has been claimed to be the best thing in life, you can in fact live a fully productive life without it. Let’s face it kids , love.. it ain’t air or food or water.

Love is grand. Well sure it is.. but let’s keep things in perspective.

Sex: Sex is a bodily function. Medical teachings allow us to understand that the suppression of any bodily function leads to stress. Stress leads to lack of concentration, loss of sleep, accelerated heart rate, and respiratory rate, elevated blood pressure, heart attack, stroke, indigestion, diarrhea, and death.

Ss basically we can now take our understanding of sex and death and come to this conclusion. Fuck or Die!

Pick one.

I have had sex, with and without love. Sure emotionally sex with love is better. But one does not equal the other.
In fact some of the most memorable “sex” was with a complete stranger, so how much “love “ do you think was involved with that? I think you have to know someone’s name (FIRST AND LAST) to be in love.

But is knowing someone the essence of love? NOPE! The longer I have known some of my lovers the less I like them. And therefore love them.. it is the old “I love you, but I am not in love with you”. (which if you have ever been told this by someone means in English :”I wanna fuck other people”)

So lets make this CLEAR.. you can and should have sex.. lots of it.. every day.

If you happen to fall in love, you should have sex with that person. (Unless of course they will mace you for trying.. then you need to go love someone else)

I have given serious consideration to starting a sex cult.
It is not that I think that there is some deep religious meaning to sex, I just don’t think people in general fuck enough.

If you have to get all “spiritual” about it, I suppose you could say that The Creator, wanted us to have sex. (A LOT) if not it would not feel that good. If biology is to be the key to sexuality, we can look at a scale or pain pleasure.
Lets look at it this way. 10 feels best, Creator Approved Activity.

10. Sex
9. Breathing when air has been withheld
8. Quenching thirst when water has been absent
7. Eating, when food has been lacking.
6. A nice healthy urination
5. Healthy bowel movement (may be 6 on scale actually)
4. Scratching an itch.
2. Stretching
1. Rubbing tired eyes
0. Sleep
-1. Cutting face while shaving
-2. Cutting bikini area while shaving
-3. Sticking finger into eye forcefully.
-4. Stubbing ingrown toenail
-5. Jamming Knee into desk while trying to click away from a porn site (before boss, wife, girlfriend, wife’s girlfriend, etc. can see)
-6. Smacking elbow (funny bone)
-7. Projectile vomiting
-8. High fever
-9. Major bone broken poking through skin
-10. Kick in the nuts.

Now there are many things that fall in between “kick in the nuts” and “Sex” so that goes without saying.

But suggesting that the Creator uses the Pain / Pleasure method of teaching the masses, (seems to be the case in nearly everything else (excluding drugs, that’s an outside influence.. we’re talking bodily function here.. hippie) we must assume that society has missed the boat on sex.

So from me to you.. go have some sex.. go have a whole boatload of sex.. see someone you like.. and aren’t sure what to get them for Christmas.. try sex. (Or just a nice hum job)

When I look back at history, I can see where in almost all cases, society has been wrong.
So I say “It is time to stop the oppression of our puritanical past! Free ourselves from these self imposed chains! Raise ourselves up to what the Creator truly intended and FUCK!”

God Bless Each of you.. with lots of steamy sex.

Nigerian scammer and an apology..

"First things first.. where's your shitter!?"

Actually, i feel bad about being a bit of a wet blankey yesterday.. somtimes things trigger me adn I get so pissed off at my situation, I just gotta vent.. so if I offended you.. fuckoff!

I recieved another Nigerian Scammer letter..
Now you know how i feel.. I don't want anyof you to waste this persons tiem with wild goos chases.. nor do I want you to just send him tons of spam.. 'cause that just aint right..

but here is the copy.. with the scammers email address included.
(so no going to porn sites adn siging him up for free porn!)

letter copy..


Permit me to introduce myself, my name is Dr.JACOB UDERIKE I work with
Union Bank of Nigeria Limited as(Assistant Auditor),in the discharge of
duty,I stumbled on this domiciliary account that has remained dormant
three years now with Eighteen million Five hundred Thousand
dollars(US$18.5m) in it.
I contacted my director and we sent out staff for enquiries and
that the account holder died in an accident. I am writing you so that
we can
work together to remit the money to you as the next of kin because this
money belongs to a foreigner and has to be claimed by a foreigner.
I guarantee this transaction under a legitimate arrangements that will
breach the law by both parties, it is simple process which will take a
while to process.If I hear from you,I will tell you all you need to
about the money.
N.B Please reply to my personal email address: ( )

Best Regards,

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Review of a show I failed to see...

Well the goodly Rev. C.P.S. has done it again!
The BAD SANTA show went off as I had imagined it would
See the review

I wish I was there, and wish them a happy godless christmas..

Perhpas I should take a moment to tell you why I was not there?

(deleted.. 'cause it jut pisses me off)

Instead insert want ad.

Wanted: Babymomma!

One Babbymomma wanted to help me spread me genes around before I get too old to fuck.

Must be self sufficiant, intellegent, attractive, D&D free, and like to get inseminated the old fashiond way.

BJ's a plus.

Oral availabe upon request.

Submit resumes to photo submissions get first review.

show some love to a Nigerian Scammer..

I am such a lucky man.. I keep getting these wonderful offers form our brothers in Nigeria.
It is a good thing that this fellow is a legitimate barrister, otherwise I may just ask you to do all sorts of naughty things to him.. like forward all of your junk email.

SO whatever you do do not do anything naughty, like ask him to meet you in Malta to discuss arraignments.. or by using the Rules for junkmail in your outlook program have all your junk emails forwarded to him.. ‘cause that just wouldn’t be nice.

OUR REF: BA/87953/562/00
This letter might come to you as a surprise but it is coming with the best of Intentions and will be of mutual benefit to all the parties involved.
I am BARRISTER KELVIN BROWN a lawyer to the former LIBERIAN PRESIDENT CHARLES TAYLOR, who is now in exile here in Nigeria.
I am writing to solicit your much-desired assistance in helping me to secure funds that are already in NETHERLANDS with a security company. The fund in question is the total of $60,000.000(sixty million united states dollars)in $100 bills and slashed in four trunk boxes, and was shipped out of Liberia through a diplomatic means by the security company and they are not aware of the real content of the boxes for security reasons.
The boxes are already in NETHERLANDS and under the custody of the security company. For your assistance in getting the boxes out from the security company and securing the funds, i will give you 20% of the total fund.
NOTE: There is no risk involved in this project because I am involved as CHARLES TAYLOR,S confidant. Therefore contact me immediately. Please you should keep this transaction a top secret as we are prepared to do more business with you pending your approach towards this project and I welcome opinion and suggestion anytime from you.
I wait for your urgent response.

That's right, be nice to him at

DeRex Promotes only the best.. or is that Breast mispelled?

The Fatman
He ain;t no chick, but when you are this fat you get man-boobs.. and that has to count for something.

(Why can't I put the "e" in the middle of Something?)
I think my left hand is possesed.. or is not paying attention.. perhpas it is off wandering the forrests of the Great North West, the pine.. the redwood.. the mighty sequioa....
'Cause I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay.. I work all night and I sleep all day..

Sorry my mind ran away with my left hand and had a bastard child.. I think we'll name it Nix.

Well back to the fish farm.. time to round up a few sturgeon and bring them into market.. yea haw!

Monday, December 19, 2005

Shamless promotion of a fellow blogger..

This dude can't spell worth a fuck, and has a completly bizzare out look on life. (sound familure)

Go tell him I sent you and give him a cyber hug.. (or a digital kick in the nerts.. whichever..)

Redneck Firewood

Red Neck Firewood

"Hello, is this the Sheriff's office?"

"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Virgil Smith. He is hiding
marijuana inside his firewood!"

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They
search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open
every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.

The phone rings at Virgil's house. "Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd.
Did the Sheriff come?"


"Did they chop your firewood?"


"Happy Birthday, buddy!"

(Who says rednecks aren't real bright!)

Fur is it ever “okay”?

Fur is it ever “okay”?

I live where it is BLOODY FUCKING COLD!
I bought a fur hat a couple of years back from an all native art shop in the bush of Alaska. It is mostly beaver and looks a bit goofy, but when it is 0 degrees outside, your head will sweat with any exertion!

SO now I want mukluks. Real Mukluks, with Moose Skin souls the whole lot.

Also I would like to get a vest, like a friend of mine, (Native-American Alaskan) has, it is seal skin. Spotted seal, with whale bone buttons really very pretty.

And as long as I am at, it a coat, one of I dunno.. wolverine and beaver perhaps? (Again whale bone buttons, or maybe even Walrus Ivory buttons)

All of these animals would have been killed for food, or other goods, and used as only native communities can use the bounty from animal products and nature.

The Furs, that are not needed by the native people (Tribe / village) are used to make garments which are sold to “southerners” like me.

I don’t see the harm in wearing native made fur? I have been asked by people if I feel guilty wearing my fur hat.. I just look at them like they have asked me how to “get one foot unscrewed so that they could shove it up their water balloon.” It just is not a sensible question to me.

Am I wrong? Is it always bad to wear fur? Even if it keeps you warmer than any synthetic fabric you have ever felt? Even if it helps support a, (by our standards) poor Native Community? Or is everyone that just sees fur and thinks “evil” stupid?

I gotta vote “stupid” on this one?

Just got a Christmas Card form Alaska, gotta get me some mukluks! F you PETA!

Cyber.. anyone do it?

Cybersex.. I have a lot of questions.. but don;t know where to start...

How about this.. Does anyone use the same material with different cyber partners?
I would think that this somhow detracts from the experience.

Multiple cyber partners: What is proper ediquite'? Is it okay to have several, or does one run the risk of making your cyber lover jealous, if you go off typing with somone else?

Is it cheating? I mean if you are in a physical relationship with somone, and have a bit of the old typing in-out-in-out with some unknown piece of fantasy is it really cheating?

If it is cheating, what is the difference between that, and say reading a romance novel and imaging that you are one of the people in the "F" scenes?
Only difference I can see is that hte type is still fresh when you cyber, but it is still type...

What happens if you meet your cyber partner? How can anyone live up to a fantasy? (I mean unless you say you have a shorty adn go too quick, adn then show up joe average??? But who would want to cyber with somone who is that honest.. or icky?

For me the whole issue of cybersex is facinating.
I see it as more artistic than phone sex, but perhpas just as kinky. If anyone cares to comment annonymously, I would love ot hear some of your cyber experiences.

(I wonder how I could hook up with two women and me all cybering at the same time? I can speed read, so perhaps that will be a plus?)

So you brng the imagination, I'll bring the KY and the Chocolate Bunnys!

Anyone see King Kong over the weekend?

I really want to see this movie.. I was wondering if any of you did.
Please tell me it was great.. please...

How about you NIx?

Your a movie kook..

I am very excited, even though some of Peter (whatsisname's) movies have been real bonners. But LOTR was a killer filck(s) and I think it was good enough to make up for past sins..

So somone , anyone please comment here on Kong!

Or go ride a Guanaco to hell.


(gwänä´kō) or huanaco (hwän´äko) , wild, hoofed mammal of the camel family, Lama guanicoe, found on arid plains in the Andes Mts. It is about 31⁄2 ft (105 cm) high at the shoulder, with a long neck; it is brown on the back and sides, with light underparts and a dark face. Although previously regarded by some authorities as the ancestor of the domestic llama and alpaca, genetic studies show that only the llama is descended from it. The guanaco is not domesticated, but indigenous South Americans use its flesh for food and make its hide into clothing and other coverings and its bones into various implements. Encroachments on its grazing land have reduced its numbers. The guanaco is classified in the phylum Chordata, subphylum Vertebrata, class Mammalia, order Artiodactyla, family Camelidae.

it's like a Llama.. but different, and they never boo (whistle)at a good cricket match.. while the South American Alpaca has a nasty temper when faced with any sporting event other than competitive sleeping.
(ălpăk´) , partially domesticated South American hoofed mammal, Lama pacos, of the camel family. Genetic studies show that it is a descendant of the vicuña. Although the flesh is sometimes used for food, the animal is bred chiefly for its long, lustrous wool, which varies from black, through shades of brown, to white. Flocks of alpaca are kept by indigenous people in the highlands of Bolivia, Chile, and Peru. They feed on grasses growing close to the snow line, and they require a pure water supply.

The Incas had domesticated the alpaca and utilized its wool before the Spanish Conquest, but subsequently the alpaca and the llama were extensively hybridized, leading to a gradual reduction in the amount of high quality alpaca wool. Exporting of alpaca wool to Europe began after Sir Titus Salt discovered (1836) a way of manufacturing alpaca cloth. Breeding alpacas is a small but growing industry in the United States, Canada, and some other non-Andean nations.

Alpacas are classified in the phylum Chordata, subphylum Vertebrata, class Mammalia, order Artiodactyla, family Camelidae.

While the LLama, has never been a champion of science fiction, it can be said. that.. (Alright, this is just getting silly.. now move along.. go on move on.. nothing more to see here.. )

LLama breeding, it's a man's life.

Here is a scammer (spammer) that needs your love..

Today in my email I got this email.. we all know it is a scam.. and I am not advocating that you do nasty things to the scammer.. like have all of your spam forwarded to him.. 'cause that would be just wrong.

so whate er you do DON'T send all of yoru junk email to

copy of the scam letter.


It is obvious that this proposal will come to you as a suprise. This is
because we have not met before but i am inspired to sending you this
by the huge fund transfer opportunity that will be of mutual benefit
two of us.

However, I am Eze 0bi personal Attorney to the late Engr.Steve Moore
a national of Isle of Man in UK, who used to work with Shell Petroleum
Development Company(SPDC) in Nigeria. On the 21st of April 1996,my
client,his wife And their three children were involved in a car
along Sagamu/Lagos Express Road. Unfortunately they all lost their
lives in
the event of the accident, Since then I have made several enquiries to
several Embassies to locate any of my clients extended relatives, this
also proved unsuccessful.

After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to acehisrelatives
over the Internet to locate any member of his family but of no avail,
I contacted you. I contacted you to assist in repartrating the money
property left behind by my client,I can easily convince the bank with
legal practice that you are the only surviving relation of my
client.Otherwise the Estate he left behind will be confiscated or
declaredunserviceable by the bank where this huge deposits were
odged.Particularly,the Bank where the deceased had an account valued at
about $27million U.S dollars(twenty seven million U.S.America
dollars).Conseqently,The bank issued me a notice to provide the next of
or have the account confiscated within the next ten official working
since i have been unsuccesfullin locating the the relatives for over
years now.I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the
deceased,so that the roceeds of this account valued at $27million
U.Sdollarscan be paid to your account and then you and me can share the
money. 55%to me and 40% to you,while 5% should be for xpenses or tax as
government may require.

I have all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any
we may make. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see
deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under alegitimate
arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.
Below are the information i need from you to enable me file in an
application of claim which will be submitted to the bank as it is the
way we can experdite procedure on the cliam.

Your Full Name:

Your Resident Address:

Your Phone/Fax Number:

Yours Faithfully,
Barrister EzE 0bi


Again, don;t do anythign nasty to this fine fellow
just because he is a disgusting piece of scamming nigerian whale shit, does not give you the right to send him abusive emails, claim that you are a hampster rancher, or sign him up for porn..

Forexample, I have 1500 spam messages from ove rhte weekend.. can you iamigine if a few thousand of us, sent him our spam.. shit he woudl be so burried in it that he may miss a golden opertunity to scam somone out of their money.. and that would be just wrong.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Iraq Votes, and Kong is King! and other random acts of Lunacy and a transvestite for good measure.

On this , what has been called Iraq’s Birthday, we must ask ourselves, the one burning question that is on everybody’s mind.

How long will it take Nix to go see King Kong?

As Frankenfurter sang..
“What ever happened to Faye Ray?
That delicate satin draped frame…

…as it clung to her thighs,
how I started to cry…
‘cause I wanted to be dressed just the same.

Give yourself over, to absolute pleasure.
Swim the warm waters
Of sins of the flesh
Erotic nightmares,
Beyond any measure

And sensual daydreams to treasure forever…”

I for one can see it.. who ho hooooooo…..

(Hey waiter theirs a transvestite in my soup!)

I was thinking gof posting a want ad here..
Something like
Wanted: Woman to bear my children.
Must look okay in latex, and have no need to chase me for child support of be an emotion burden for the rest of my live.

But then I decided that I could afford a little child support.

Today, is really kinda crappy, it is about 33 degrees outside and the snow is melting, which is okay in my book, but it is dark and gray.. and is kinda putting me in the dumps.

Also my annual job review was done yesterday, and it was not overly pretty.
No not because I spend so much time talking to you fuckers, but rather because my boss, is too lazy to ask around about all the things I do here.

In the end I got a 4% C.O.L raise.

I wonder what he gave himself?

So it appears from his inaccurate assessment of my day to day tasks, that I need to do more blowing my(self) horn in front of him, and less actual work of substance.
I hate office politics more than Governmental Politics.

I just don’t see why it should be necessary. But then I remember that the world is occupied with two types of people, those that run around shitting on everyone, and those of us, that try to turn the other cheek.. so we get a nice even layer of shit on both sides.

I am getting sick and fucking tired of always turning the other cheek.

So yes, my boss is an out of touch, inconsiderate cock sucker. I need to go back to working for myself.. I wonder if that opportunity in short dicked porn is still available?

So if anyone out there wants to have my child.. email me at
Otherwise bugger off!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Politics as usual.. why do I do it to myself???

Here's a cool little libertarinan blog

Today I took an hour for lunch, I usually take only 30 minutes, but today I was pissed off, so I milked an extra half hour. (I got my annual review, and I think it was crap.. but that’s another story)

Anyway, back to lunch, I had a delicious Arby’s Chicken / Bacon thing.. very tasty.

My lunch ran from roughly 11:30 to 12:30
I spent the first half hour listening to conservative talk radio hose Glenn Beck.

The second half was dedicated to Thom Hartman (liberal) and Rush Limbaugh (channel surfing back and forth)

Both to a degree talked about similar news stories, and both had 180 degree opposed opinions on these stories.

It is like reading from the Republican and Democrat playbooks.. same talking points, different spin..
One or the other is lying.. and I find this the case on nearly every issue.
I do not have insider information, so it is up to me as the listening to decide who is being truthful and who is bullshitting me.

When I have had third party confirmation, to date neither have done real well.

Because both parrot the voices and sound bite from their respective political camps (Democrat or Republican) with only a few notable exceptions. One has to then extend the bullshitometer readings onto their parties.. in other words Dems and Reps are FULL OF SHIT!

Politics like news is all about the ratings, and drama sells..
Well in News I only want the truth and facts, not speculation and drama, and to an even greater degree I expect the same from elected officials.

Fox news was not the inventor of the ratings system for news, but has learned to master it, with drama and suspense, and full on fiction when it suits a story’s purpose., and the same can be most modern politicians.

Lets face facts, and fact are, that facts generally are pretty boring. Add a little build up, a little drama and some name calling, and viola’ you got any Washington insiders next sound bite, or the top of the hour lead over at Fox.

I know that as an American I feel like I have no choice, I like many of you, vote for the lesser of two evils , if I even bother to vote.

What we need, is a third party, one that actually respects out rights as individuals, and is not all about getting their buddies rich, so they can in turn provide funds for the next election, or that has an interest in keeping us poor and wanting, so as to insure a strong voter base in an upcoming election.. and if you do not think this describes the two parties we currently have, you need to go wash your head.

Sure trickle down works, so does trickle up, but for these fuckers it is all about the power base (and the heaps of cash a high profile political career guarantees these days with books and speaking engagements.. (above and beyond the out and out theft and corruption)

I went looking, looking for the alternative party that will be the least invasive, into my life and my freedoms.
And I came to the conclusion that the Libertarian party has the most promise right now.
Fast forward 200 years and they may be as corrupt and power/money hungry as the rest , but for now, I think that the LP has something to offer as an alternative.

The LP needs to work on it’s image. But in this time of no political party having a good image, the opportunity may never be better for a full court press.. by any alternative party.

If you are interested I recommend that you go to the Libertarian Parties official website

Read past what you have been told about the LP,, look at the whole picture, and into the real meat of the party. Like all political parties of any success, they are for or against more than just the flash-point issues. You may find that like, I did, you find them to be a breath of fresh air.

If given the opportunity I will vote LP in 2006 and 2008. I for one am ready for a change.

O Christmas Tree Lyrics?

You know I almost got fired for singing this.. fucking PC assholes are everywhere..
Sung to the tune of O-Christmas Tree..

O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush!
By DeRex.

O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush! O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush!
Thy leaves are so unchanging;
O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush! O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush!
Thy leaves are so unchanging;
Not only green when summer's here,
But also when 'tis cold and drear.
O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush! O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush!
Thy leaves are so unchanging!

O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush! O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush!
Much pleasure thou can'st give me;
O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush! O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush!
Much pleasure thou can'st give me;
How often has the Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush
Afforded me the greatest glee!
O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush! O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush!
Much pleasure thou can'st give me.

O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush! O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush!
Thy candles shine so brightly!
O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush! O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush!
Thy candles shine so brightly!
From base to summit, gay and bright,
There's only splendor for the sight.
O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush! O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush!
Thy candles shine so brightly!

O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush! O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush!
How richly Odin has decked thee!
O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush! O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush!
How richly Odin has decked thee!
Thou bidst us true and faithful be,
And trust in Odin unchangingly.
O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush! O Pegan Nordic Fertility Bush!
How richly Odin has decked thee! !"

Don;t you love these scammer pieces of donkey dung?

I just got the following in an email.


Dear friend,

I Am Barrister Alex Okeke, a solicitor. I am The personal attorney to
P.M Charles,A national of your country, possibly Could be your brother,
used to Work with Oando Petroleum Development Company [West
Branch hereinafter shall be referred to as my client. In 2003, my
his wife and their two children were involved in a plane crash in a
called Adjarra near Porto Novou after take off from Cotonou here in
Republic.It was unfortunate that my client and his fanily all lost
lives in the crash.For more on the plane crash logon to

Since then I have made several enquiries at your embassy here in
Cotonou and
Porto Novou to locate any of my clients extended relatives, this has
proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I
decided to
track his last name over the internet, to locate
any member of his family hence I contacted you. I have contacted you to
assist in repatriating the money and property left behind by my client
before they get confiscated, frozen or declared unserviceable by the
where these huge deposits were lodged.

had an account valued at about FIVE MILLION NINE HUNDRED UNITED STATE
DOLLARS[USD5.9] The Management has issued me a notice to provide the
next Of
kin or have the account frozen within the next twenty Official working
Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over 2
now i seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of
since you have the same last name so that the proceeds of this account
valued at [USD5.9] can be paid to you and then you and me can share the
money. 60% to me and 40% to you.

I have all the necessary legal documents that can be used to back up
claim we may make.And this I must do to make sure that this fund is not
Wasted or end up in the wrong hands. All I require is your honest
co-operation to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this
be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from
breach of the law.

I am waiting your urgent reply.
Thanks and god bless you,
BARR.Alex Okeke ESQ.

Now I need to find somthing nasty to send back to him..
I once told a Nigerian scammer that I was a poor hampster rancher, with only 500 acres of ocean front ranch on the vast planes of Nevada.Later as our corospondences contionued, I told him that I wanted at least one 12 year old nigerian virgin along with my 3.2 million dollars.. (you don;t know unless you ask.. )
Funny enough he agreed!
Then I tried to get him to meet me in Malta.. (I was of course not going to go) but something in there tipped him off, adn he stopped writing after I tried to get him to meet me there. (Bastard)

If anyone is interested, I could post the email addresses of any and all scammers that email me.. but I don;t want to know what you do with them.. other than the funny shit that is.

Cory Maye (Getting my news from the blogosphere)

Here is a delicious little piece on Cory Maye.
See it here

It seems that our government has to remind us that it has hte power to do to us whatever the hell it wants.. and grin and say we're still a democracy ever 10 or so years.
(Ruby Ridge, Waco, now Prentiss MS.)

Reference :

Death Penalty: Should be reserved for Politicians and Traitors.

Dueling Reviews part Dux! Darkness Falls..

Alrighty! We have done ATJ, and I hated it as I knew I would, now Nixie will endure a movie that I like, and that makes him want to schedual oral surgery rather than watch.. it's only fair.. life is a big shit sandwich and now it is good old Nixeclips' turn to take a bite.

He says that he will actually buy a copy!
If you want to play along, you too can buy a copy at
by clicking on this link.. (hint hint hint)

Look at that best price.. come on people, don't be so fucking cheap!

Movie Review.. sorta' Peeping Tom (1960)

Yo Nix, can you remember seeing this movie?
“Peeping Tom”
a British “Psycho” type movie from 1960.

Now here’s a Classic!
If you have not watched it, or remember watching it, go to Amazon (using this link) to read about it.

It did not strike me how groundbreaking a thriller/horror movie it was until I started in on the “making of” bonus section at the end of the DVD.

Damn sure was a groundbreaking movie, including that it was the first time that a nipple was seen on screen in British theater. (And they were nice, if too brief)

If you have not seen it you MUST, I think you will add it to your collection, for it’s historical value as well as its mind twising plot line.
8.2 outta 10. (and I ain;t seen a 10 yet)

Random thoughts random spellings (Reviews of life): Dueling Reviews of ALL THAT JAZZ! (Nixie, he ain't heavy)

Random thoughts random spellings (Reviews of life): Dueling Reviews of ALL THAT JAZZ! (Nixie, he ain't heavy)

Dueling Reviews of ALL THAT JAZZ! (Nixie, he ain't heavy)

Dear readers.. if you have been with us for very long, you will know that Good Old Nixeclips and I have been trying to put together a case of Dueling Reviews, an the Movie
All That Jazz..

You may also remember my not so favorable review as posted here . Random thoughts random spellings (Reviews of life): All That Jazz (Reviews of Movies that Suck)

Now BEHOLD! Nix has come through with his review.. see it at.. Nix drops his cock and grabs a sock review of all that Jazz.

"The movie opens brilliantlyy with a blaring musical cue and the title in lights. And then cuts to our "hero" coughing and hacking and starting his day. We then cut to an extensive audition scene set to an excellentt rendition of "On Broadway". These show that Broadwayy and dance isn't all glamour. That was quite striking. They're cut and composed with a style that keep it interesting and never boring. And most importantly, it sets up the character of Joe Gideon, the stand in for Mr. Fosse himself".

My rebuttalle..
Nix you ignorant slut! (I have been waiting for weeks to write that!)
After reading your review I almost wanted to go out rent this movie and watch it again! FUCKME!
After my first viewing, I saw all the things you saw, I saw the symbolism and the deeper meanings, and still I felt like I had been gang banged it the dark and not even kissed.

Perhaps, the measure to which all "true movie people" are held against should be all that jazz?
I thought I appreciatedated "Art" films, and the less than mainstream "deep" movies, but now I am convinced that I am an open mouth breathing, window licking, Philistine, who should stick with movies with no deeper meaning that that of perhaps, Terminator.. I feel so popular right now, and need to take a shower.

Nix you did a good job, but let it ride conscience heavy, that you may have made some unwitting young turk actualy watch this abortion of a tribute to showtunes. (well at least to us, the Mongoloid Masses) ...
Well done friend,
I'm Sickskull and he's Eggbert, and we're brining you the movies.. sorta'

Random thoughts random spellings (Reviews of life): All That Jazz (Reviews of Movies that Suck)

Random thoughts random spellings (Reviews of life): All That Jazz (Reviews of Movies that Suck)

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Movies.. Netflix is great!

Well I am into week two of netflix (or is this week three.. I can never tell).. but anyway, so far it is going along swimmingly!
I am a movie nut.. I like em dark and bloody, or silly and English.. or nearly anything in between.

You probobly already know this because of my links and banter with good old NixEclips.. (that wanker), but latrely Nixie has been down and has not wanted to play.. even after we made him more famous than Daphne Teo or Dawn Yang or Bruna Bianco for that matter.. so while Nixie gets his head in the right place, adn starts to slaughter the masses with the grinning vivality of days gone by.. let me introduce you to another movie person.
Click here..
he ain't nix but until Nix gets his meds in order, of goes for the Amsterdam Oralathon, he'll do.

Come on Nixie it's only $2500! don;t be a puss.

Only 5612 to go!! WHEEE HOOOOO!

Hey, I just looked, adn over at Technorati I am only 5612 links form uniqu sites away from being in their top ten!

What does this mean? Well so fr I have 11 unique sites thatlink here.. I have been blogging for about 3 months. this means that I average 3.66 new unique sites linkingto me each month.. in only 1533.3 months I will be in the top ten!!!
That's right only 127 .77 years away from fame and fortune!

(According to my last calculation this is 276 years sooner than I will be able to retire using my 401K and if Social Security goes public)

Damn I hope I can hold out that long..

I don;t know if I am pissed or not..

I just stumbled across a blog that had the same stat counter that I use. this blog had a few out of focus pornographic images, and a few not so well written errotic stories.. and the thing that gets me is that it was getting 10 to 20 times more traffic than any of mine..

Perhpas I am going about this the wrong way?
Maybe the trick to a heavily trafficed blog, is to have a few nude pictures, some good old fasioned cocksucking and a few stories that could have been come out of the reject pile for throb magazine? (Of yea and I would have to say that I am a chick)

There were a few links to a few other "sexy" blogs, adn a few pay sites.. (I looked at the blogs out of pure scientific vertue.. umm humm) and some of them were well written with pretty naked people throughout..

(I would settle for the clicks from the poorly written ugly womans site)

Now the question is.. do I have hte ballz to do it? (perhaps) Am I of the moral fiber one has to be to be in porn? (You betcha).
So whats stopping me??? I dunno it just seems so "smarmy".

Perhaps I will change my mind, and be the next Rupert Murdock of the Good Old In-out-in-out of the blogosphere?........ reports to ollow.

thinking aloud in technicolor.. what if..

What if Nix and I in a few years were to get a nationaly syndicated Television SHow, in which we could do reviews.. like the one of All That Jazz (That the litle pissant son of a plumb bob promised)

I imagine it will look a little like this.

Tookie WIlliams is Dead.

I feel a bit like a click vulture, by writing anything at all about the late Tookie Williams.

Let me say for my critics, that I am against the taking of life in any form.

Tookie WIlliams was convicted of shooting 4 people to death. I am against that.
The state of California has now executed Tookie WIlliams. I am against that, to a much lesser degree, that that of the orriginal crime. (I have commone sense, unlike may of hte people that have come out on either side of the issue)

What was done to Tookie Williams, was as humane as any killing can be, I find that the ultimate crime is that our system is so slow that it took 25 years to get around to doing him in. I hear that many "Life Sentenses" are not 25 years in length when served with good behavior. That's just wrong.

What we have is a broken system, it would be nice to think that there is a way to keep the Tookie Williams' of the world from ever killing, but if history is to be out guage, there will always be ruthless killers amongst us.
So what is a society to do? Support the ruthless by housing them away from civilization until the end of their natural lives? Kill them quickly?

This is a question that only society on a whole can answer, and my opinion about the justice or injustice that was done to Tookie and to the four he killed, should not matter one bit.

I am just glad that I do not have to servce ona jury for a death penelty case... I do not know if I could allow through my actions a live to be taken away. ......

But let's be honest shall we? Let's say that a Tookie williams out ther ehad killed a few of my family members, and then joked about the gurgling sounds that they made as they died.. I would be calling for thier head.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Tookie to Die. R.I.P. O-G, R.I. P

Another Random Man’s Blog.

Looks like Tookie Williams will meet his maker at the hands of the State Of California.

Read the full article here
Schwarzenegger Rejects Williams' Bid for Clemency
By Henry Weinstein and Michael Muskal, Times Staff Writers
Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger today rejected clemency for Stanley Tookie Williams, convicted murderer and one of the founders of the Crips.

The decision was announced moments after a federal appeals court in San Francisco turned down Williams's request for a stay of execution. Williams is scheduled to be executed by lethal injection at 12:01 a.m. Tuesday

Well Tookie, it came down to the wire, you fought the good fight.

May the good you have done since conviction, be what you are remembered by.

There will be many who pour out a little liquor for you tonight.
I did not know you, I knew your works.
R.I.P. brother.

Tookie WIlliams. Mixed emotons.

Damn death penalty cases, I could never sit on a jury in a death penalty case.
I believe that there is a place for the death penalty.. for politicians and traitors.

Have tookie's good deeds been enough to over come the states wish to kill him?

If the death penalty was carried out in a timely manner woudl we be having this discussion>? No tookie would already be dead.

I have heard one notable talk radio host say, htat ever if tookie did good since his incarceration, that the gang he founded (co-founded) has killed enough innocent people to more than make up for it, and that tookie shoudl be executed with all expediance. (Perhaps)

Personaly , for Tookie WIlliams, I wish a stay of execution, not because i believe his statements that he is innocent, I don;t know enough about the details of hte case to have any opinion on his guilt, or innocens. But because for once, tax dollars are paying to maintain the life or a criminal, and we as a society are seeing dividends from his being alive. (Through his anti-gang works)

I hope that Gov. Arnold, sees it in his heart to issue a stay for Tookie Williams.

If not, Tookie, know that in your death a valuabel message can be shared with the youth that may be drawn towards a life of crime, and that in that message, your life will not have been in vein.

God bless you and Keep you.

new game for the Xbox 360.. find Daffy Teo

YEs, the latests and perhaps greatest of the xbox 360 games is roumored to be just on the horizon.
"Find Daphne Teo"

In this game you will surf from blog to blog trying to put together a collection of bizare adn somtimes vague clues all in an attempt to find Daphne Teo.

Once you spot DT then the fun really begins..
In a flashback to Mario Bros, days, the action switches from 3-d to right to left scroll, your misson then becomes one of smacking DT upside the head with your spam log, until she is unconcious. if you fail to slap her with your meat wand enough to knock her out, she wil drop out of play for a few months adn you have to play with your meatstick all by yourself.

If however you can knock her more sensless than a stripper at a rohipnal convention, you then can drag her off into "Make nice land" wher eshe will be repeatly assaulted by pressed meat product, until she admits she is just another twit on the road to being an ex-twit of any fame.

Cheats: If you enter Xaixue in as your player name int he beginning of the game, you go instantly to where DT is and whip her ass.

If you type your player name in as Dawn Yang, you instantly get a huge contract with M-TV and DT's head explodes in envy.

“First do no harm.”

“First do no harm.”

Since before my introduction to medicine and now after being out of the field for nearly 12 years, I have tried to live my life by the Hippocratic Oath.

I wish everyone would sign on to this mantra..




I have been eaten up this morning with thoughts for this post.
I know that words (well any that I can put together) will not express the complexity of the thoughts that are in my head and behind my motivation to write this.

Let me start with this.
Memories, and past events.
In Quantum physics we are taught, that to observe a thing changes a thing. Also we are taught that no two people (observers) can observe a same thing.
Think of it like this.
An event happens.
Standing around the event are 27 observers, all in a circle. No two of the 27 will have an exactly same memory of that event. The perspectives are different.
No add to that , this.
History, is not constant.
What is history? History is a perception of past events. Not only can no two persons observe the same event, exactly alike, you then have to add (because we are talking about human perceptions) the fact that over time the perception of the event will change, through influences internal and external.

So looking back on an event that occurred 20 years ago, is anything but remembering actual events.
The perspectives are going to be different and there is nothing you or I can do to change that.
So what really happened? Because there is no conclusive way to prove what actually transpired, there is no event. It therefore needs to be kept out of the equation hat is life.

WTF??!?!? You may be saying.. to you I say bollocks.

Living in the past, is equivalent to living in a fantasy. Living in the future is equivalent to living in a fantasy. Perhaps this is why the Buddhists live more in the now than any other group, when tested.

What happened in the past is a non-event. How your perception of the past effects your now is it’s only power.

We all have pasts, filled with beauty and with ugliness, I hope that this message touches the ones I have loved in the past and as a result still love today (love is eternal ya know), what you and I were in the past means no more than someone’s speculation about what we will be in the future. It is what we are now, that matters. If the road that got us to where we are was rough, and unpleasant, it was what was needed to shape us , and only our perception of the path can change.
Look deeply into your now, remember that you are loved, and think only about the positive outcome of past events, as nothing else exists.

Continuing.. on this strange brain candy of a post..

Hurt: I was once told, by a very wise person that “Nothing conceived in love can come to an evil purpose”.

I hope that is true.

Sidebar: See even after however many words above, the feeling behind this post is still in my heart and head and not on this blog.
Some people tell me I am a great communicator, I say “NO!”. If I were so great, the people that I care about would know that I care about them. The people who I have harmed by accident would know that my intention was not that of hurt.. the people that I have only ever wanted happiness for would know that , is all I wanted.. but still human perception and my inability to communicate on a level above these simplistic words and paragraphs keeps this brass ring of true understanding just outside of reach, and grasp.

I cannot be sure how long this post will stay up.. it is my attempt to sort out the thoughts and emotions of resent events, as is most of this blog.

I do not expect that it will be fully understood by it’s target audience, so I am sure it will be a complete mystery to those it was not written for.

One of the wonders of blogging, you can always ask for a do-over.
I wish life were the same.