Tuesday, August 30, 2005

News of the day.. my way.

Simply awful..
Today’s news as usual is simply awful.. so gloom and doom.. and if it wasn’t for the fact that I am a died in the wool heathen, I might start to think the world was coming to and end.. so I thought I would make up some news for you.. something to make you smile.

Aliens Land at Washington DC Anti War Rally.

Today at 13:00 hrs EST, Aliens beings from the constellation of Diverticuli landed in the middle of a field near Washington DC, in the middle of a group of anti war protestors.

Tensions were high at first, but after, the protestors, with the support of described to the alien beings how the government had started a war for a fossil fuel that is underground, pumped out, refined, burned and then causes acid rain, and after they described how the government caused a hurricane named Katrine to slam into pumping and refining facilities for this black sludge to drive prices higher, thus insuring that the majority of the population will see the need to go to war to keep petroleum flowing, and to rive prices higher so that all of the President’s Oil Buddies could get richer.

After careful consideration the aliens decided not to kill us, but rather to simply make our planet a no fly zone.
Scientist theorize that the Alien Beings were fearful that our stupidity was caused by a virus and may be contagious.

After examining our fanatical status and system, the aliens also came to the conclusion, that we could not finance a trip around the block without causing economic collapse, much less travel into the outer reaches of the galaxy, thus making us harmless to all intelligent life everywhere.

Thus as Douglas Adams had predicted, we are now just an entry in the galactic hand book that reads. Earth: Mostly Harmless.

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