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Thursday, March 30, 2006

Defining the top ten at technorati..

Writing late.. after I proof red this thing. damn I need to stay off of the percription caugh medicin for a day or two.. wanted one proof reader, must were short skirts adn no panties.. must have big boobs adn know how to desipher this scrawl I call typing.. fuck me! (oky you don;t have to actyually fuck me.. I was only using that as an expression of frustration.. if you typed like me you would be frustrated too.. but you have hands and arms and fingers.. I got flippers.. so first one of you fucks to make fun gets a trout upside the head)

Defining the top ten at technorati..
I know that there have been times when I said “WTF is that” when I looked at the top search list on technospamlotti.

So here is my little attempt to make sense of figuring out what in the fuck others are thinking about a little easier on you, my beloved readers.. (except the schmucks.. I love you all.. one at a time.. with baby oil.. but that is another story)

Here’s the top searched things and my definitions.. (note some definitions may be 100% inaccurate.. but so are half the fucking posts about them so , hey you get what you pay for .. ‘ight?
1. “American Idol”: We all know and love that sappy show. If you don’t know what AI is by now.. you should probably go back into that cave you just climbed out of.. Tell Osama I said "Hi".

2. Transparency International.. see earlier article.. but lets just say that they are a German based group of wankers.. see below.. if you are on the front page.. for those who can only see this post.. do a search..

3. Flyerpilot : again.. German Wankers. See here http://larko.wordpress.com/2006/03/30/flyerpilot-prospects-for-settlement/ for better info.. but company vs. blogger.. yadda yada yada.. I can’t wait to be sued.. go ahead.. what are you gonna take one of my flippers.. fucking people always picking on the seal boy.. (but I digress)

4. “Jill Carroll”: Christian Science Monitor Report.. once captive now free.. , yes it is real news.. boring.. lets move on shall we?

5. Cpe: Some French shit.. I think we need Wally for this one.. http://www.welcomtowallyworld.com/ Hey Mal help a brother.. you read french don't you?

6. “Cynthia Mckinney”: (okay I am getting bored with trying to fact find.. so I am just going to make the rest of the definitions up.. okay?) Cynthia McKinney, a girl I went to grade school with, when we were 12 I told her I loved her and wanted her to have my babies.. she laughed at me.. and now I am a 42 year old homosexual priest because of it.. thanks a lot you whore!

7. “Mary Winkler”: Hernry Winklers mom.. you know Fonzie? Has recently written a book.. “Being mother to the Fonz my Personal Hell Ahhhhhhh!”

8. Kaloogian: Yet another variation of Google.. this one is a combination of Yahooligans and Googles Knoodle.. so you can surf for porn but only get naked pictures or Barney the Dinosaur.
9. Lost: where this whole joke is going..

10. Transparency: Really related to the number one.. but rather than go down that boring road.. I will say.. it is the latest in spring fashion.. everyone in Paris and Rome are already wearing transparent clothes. In fact the entire Tammy NYP video really was of two fully clothed people.. only their clothes were of the new and exciting line ‘Transparency” only the stupid people can’t see them.
~~ Definition number two “Transparency” when one or both parents dress like a member of the opposite sex. (See Rocky Horror)

11. “South Park”: Yes, in deedy.. Chief.. after he sucked my salty chocolate balls (again see below) was torn to pieces by wild animals and made into Darth Chef.. I can’t wait for the sequel.. unless it is directed by that idiot that remade starwars.. what the fuck was his name again.. you know the famous one?? Oh yea Douchbag!

12. Strumpette : A stringed trumpet.. you strum your trumpet.. ie strumpette. Also a new term for jerking off, formerly “strumming the trumpet”.. now strumreting!

13. “Charlie Sheen”: The latest Sheen to get into the news.. for saying some smack shit about Bush.. hell I sat smack shit about the Imperial Leader damn near every day.. you don’t see my fucking name as a top techno search do you?? MUTHAFUCKER!

14. Ipod : BORING! Come on people we had music players when I was a kid.. they were called cassette decks.. get the fuck over it already!

15. Myspace: Yes, my space, your space.. the place where teenaged angst meets online perverts.. I have a myspace account.. and it sucks.. I would rather type my smack shit here.. and call it MySpace-where-my-nut-sack-hangs-out-for-you-to-suck.com

And that’s all thank god.. here I thought I could do some funny stuff with the “most” list. But really they are mostly boring topics.. we all need a good run of Tammy NYP to brighten our days.

Oh the tags are perhpas more interesting, so maybe if you are lucky I will spam you tomarrow with definitians of the technospamaloti tags..
(enter vikings.. singing "Spam spam spam spam, spam spam spam spam spammity spam wonderful Spam!")

thanks youtube

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL. Thanks. I finally bit on "Flyerpilot" and now I know. I don't have to worry anymore that if I click on it I'll end up at a some aviation-related porn site.

I must admit that I also know what (who) Kaloogian is. Nyah nyah! While your definition is sublime, the truth is even funnier. Depending on your political stripe, of course.

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