Thursday, December 08, 2005

A cyber-Fairy tale, or how i learned to love Dawn Yang.

I had been diving that day, looking for the lost treasure of The Mina Trott. She was the sister ship to the Pinta, and Gordo on the epic voyage of 1476 that set out from Madrid Spain to explore all of the western hemisphere and look for a cure for the Llama Flu.

I was having a flashback to those days at Pearl Harbor, as my dive buddy, Old Banjo Lips scraped the squiddoo off from my tanks.

“Remember when you told Dawn Yang that you were leaving her for Xaxaiu?” Banjo asked..

“Yea, I sure do”, I said a bit embarrassed.
I had told this little white lie because I did not want Daphne “Daffy” Teo to know I was really shacking up with Jennifer. Jen had longed lived in the tiny town of Aniston, just outside of Quala Lumpinyourcoffee.

Then like a breath of fresh Llama all the memories came flooding back in, the long walks along David Brook.. the time when her brother failed out of the FBI academy and became a letter carrier, we used to call him Gmail in stead of g-man like he has always wanted. (Too bad about his going nuts and mowing down all of those orphans really)

Yea, those were the days, singing harmony with John Lennon, outside in Fields of Strawberries.
The long acid trip, where I kept asking every 20 minutes.. “Are we there yet?”
(when I really meant to say are we when yet?)

But then she left me, I suppose it suits me right, after all I had kept looking at nude elephant blogs, even after she asked me not to.
She left me for Bob Hebert, no not that Bob Hebert, but the one that had originally paired up with Siscul. It was a good thing that Ebert came along when the pair broke up, I always said, Siskul and Hebert, were quite the duo, but they always agreed on ever movie, so it was like watching the same critic but in two different cheap suits.

“Ahh fuck it”, I sad to Banjo.. lets go get some beer.. “I hear that they have a new bartender at the Ihop and he pours a mighty fine pint. In fact they call him Harold Pinter because of it.” Which is better than the old bartender, they called him “Sweet Shanks”.

So banjo and I road off into the sunset.. him humming a merry tune about imprisonment in a south American country and me dreaming day dreams about coming in 3rd in the technorati derby.

Life was good on that sunny southern isle.

(The preceding proves that I am a technorati click whore)
But NixEclips was 3rd yesterday in the technorati top 10 .. so to all you hatters out there, who will never be more popular than Dawn Yang for even a millisecond.. suck it baby suck it!

No Llamas were injured in the writing of this post.. no posts were injured during the riding of the Llama, and no Banjos were actually involved in any of the above.

This has been a public service announcement brought to you by An Army of One, It’s a man’s life in the Army. And the letter &.

third yesterday.. biotches!


The Great Swifty said...

Heh, actually, her name's spelled as Xiaxue.

DelorumRex said...

well I don;t call this place ...random spellings for nuthin'.
I can never remember exactly how it is spelled.. which is okay I get a few hits off of the mispellings too.. gotta love that.

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