Wednesday, December 07, 2005

one psychotic Jennifer Aniston, Bruna Bianco break commin' up!

Ever have one of those days when you just want to go completely nuts, so you don’t have to deal with bullshit anymore.
I am looking forward to a psychotic break.

I keep getting bombed by sober virus, and it is driving me to drink
Blogger is all fucked up for me today,, wither I get a “Your not authorized” error when I go to look at my blog, or if I try to post something posts twice or not at all.. I mean FUCKME!

I also have noticed today that the more stressed I get the worse my typing gets.. (yes it can be worse)

The bad thing is that when I am frustrated, my A.D.D. overcomes my O.C.D. and I could give a F.U.C.K. about spellchecking.

Then , and this may be slightly premature, it looks like international nixeclips day is going to turn out to be a big fuggin flop.

I feel like I am less important than some dog faced Brazilian bathing suit model. It is a good thing that Brazilian chicks have nice asses, cause their faces are murder.

I feel like pounding my head into my keyboard unti it bleeds.. no not my head the fucking keyboard.
I swear that someone has moved some of the letters on my keyboard. But when I look back their they all are , right where they belong.. fuckers.

Must be them gaddamned garden gnomes, that are always popping their heads just into the periphery of my vision.. you know them little bastards, you see them you think, then you turn to look at them full on and poof they fucking aren’t there? YEA them bastards!

After chasing the top ten at technorati all day today, I have decided that the world is a very sick place, and needs to be simonized. (Or sodomised)

Like who really gives two craps about Jennifer Aniston? Bruna Boianca, or Daffy Teo. I got bigger titties than all three put together! Daffy is a biotch, Jennifer, is a chump, and Bruna looks like she may have changed her name from Bruno right after the sex change operation.

Then you do have the technical stuff, firefox, WEB 2.0, When 2.0 etc etc, adnausium, I can understand the fascination with those things in the blogging community.. but Daffy Teo? FUCKME!

Then the rest of my day was shit too.. I feel dizzy and light headed.. and thirsty.. I think I am getting to be diabetic.. but know it is all in my head.. dr’s appointment on the 15th,, needles.. and the lecture about don’t smoke, don’t drink, no coffee, loose weight.. I always want to look back at Doc and ask him , what’s the point then?
Then I would really have NOTHING going on.. fuck can you see the blog then.. today I woke up. I had a bowel of high fiber low calorie cerial, I took a dump, I drove to work in my clean emissions car, I had a nice bottle of water. I got to work did nothing, or paperwork, or some thing that is well under watching paint dry on the bordome scale. For lunch I had a nice bottle of water, and some fruit. Then I went back to work, and sat there daydreaming of having fun. Then I drove home, I had a sensible dinner, and watched some network television. (It would soon read.. and then I put the gun in my mouth, and with a pull of the trigger, it all went black)

I stopped doing drugs years ago, but I am bored enough now that I want to start huffing news print, or something for excitement.

Perhaps all I need it a strange piece of ass? That would entertain me for a little while. But then I get thinking.. I think my wife is a bitch now? FUCKME if she caught me cheating!!! I have written that I think she is trying to kill me.. if I was caught cheating.. I would not have time to write.. I would just be dead.

Maybe that will become my new game? Like Russian roulette.. only you don’t spin the chamber and put the gun to your head.. you diddle a stranger ,and see if it gets back to broadzilla?

I should not think such thoughts.. (because I would really do it)

You know, I have an admission.. I once contemplated suicide, seriously.. then it hit me.. suicide is permanent.. and you only have to do it once.. so I said FUCKIT! And went off and did all of the things I was afraid to do.. I told my boss to fuck himself, I bought a sports car, I grew my hair long, I moved to another state ,and I had (safe) sex with a few strangers.. It was fuckign great. After about a year of living life to the fullest, I decided I wanted to live.. and then I settled back down into tedium.. fuck me.

This fact is what tells me I have not hit bottom yet. That in fact my life although a cure for insomnia, is not intolerable.. if it were to get intolerable, I would go NUTTERS again, and probably have a damn good time doing it.
This time I think I would move to Fiji.. and try to make a living fucking tourists, and fishing.. if it didn’t work out, I could always kill myself later.

(bad news.. I am already starting to think about what I will do when I get to the bottom.. it ain;t gonna be pretty for everyone.. but it sure looks like it will be some funny azzed shit!)

And Nix says he’s nuts!

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