Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Time for a little future predicting:

Time for a little future predicting:

I am rubbing my crystal ball and what do I see?

Bird Flu in Europe December 26th (turns out not a big deal, but billed as the Christmas flu pandemic of 2005) The Company that makes Tami-Flu licenses it to American companies and takes a 145% jump in stock price.

April 15th tax day.. Osama Bin Laden Captured or killed.
(bush takes a jump in the polls)

Also in April, Senate leaders rally against Bush and the Iraq war. (Nothing much comes of it, other than they take a jump in the polls)

June, Hillary Clinton announces that she will in fact seek the democratic nomination for President. When asked how bill feels about being the “First Gentleman”, she quips, “well it won’t be his first time.”

Dean makes an ass of himself for the next several months, but in the end will not seek nomination.

Republicans put Condi up as well as McCain , after a quick leap ahead in the polls, Condi drops out of the race ala Harriet Meyers.
McCain takes the rep nomination.

After what is found to be yet another CLOSE race, Hilary becomes the first woman president of the United States. She serves only one term in which not much happens, and 12 days after leaving office divorces Bill.

Universal healthcare dies again…

Taxes up 12% on an ever shrinking “middle class” Corporate tax breaks are as evident and popular with the inside the beltway crowd as ever.

An independent actually comes close to winning in the ’12 election as a result of ever more evident corruption inside Washington. Instead Jebb Bush becomes the Bush Hat-trick, and wins by voting for himself twice in Florida and three times in Texas and a couple more in Maine.
He then also collects his frequent flyer miles, from the Air Force(who flew him around in a SR-71Black Bird election day) and uses them to purchase one-way discount air fares for his detractors to Canada.
Canada later that same year is renamed the Unites States of American Siberian state.

Paris Hilton has her first child in 06.. names it Brazil. Father is unknown to even Paris.

Aliens from outer space finally land in times square, and state in clear English that they have been speaking with the governments of the earth for nearly 200 years. (And that we still don’t make any sense to them) And that they will now go back into space and allow us to blow ourselves up but good!

2027 Canary Island collapse takes eastern seaboard by surprise 12 million estimated killed, 200 million look to Government for money to relocate, U.S. Government goes Bankrupt.

2009 Small Pox and radiological bombs used inside the US. estimated dead 120,000 wounded and injured in the millions.

2010 Israel with US aid declares was on everyone that is Arab.. nukes fly.. oil prices sore, Exxon makes enough money to purchase the moon.

2010 Dick Cheney dies, is frozen in cryogenic sleep. 18 months later, an environmentalist whack job lets all of the liquid Helium out of the Cheney chrio-crypt and he becomes so much spoiled meat.

I got a million more..

By the way Bill Gates owns the moon now.. he bought it from NASA as a part of a Lend Lease program, Bill Gates continues to supply DOS to run the systems on older space craft, NASA gives him the moon.. everybody wins.

1 comment:

OptyMyst said...

LOL - that's a great post.